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so how do you treat a sour friend?

luvya

Banned
I've known this friend of mine for some 10 years. We have a lot of friends between us, so it's not likely that I can cut off from him completely. The thing is that I never really like his personality, he is a good person though...but just can't stand with his personality.
Sometimes he would make fun of someone right in front of that person and actually hurt people's feeling. I mean,personally, I can take jokes no problem, but stop when it should be stopped, because if not, it will only start hurting people's feeling. He talks a lot, and he once said that he is very good at talking and delivering fun to people. Well, I didn't want to go against him so I just smile, but it seems the thing that he is most proud of is sometimes not in other people's best interesting. He would argue until he win, and if you just keep quiet, he would start making fun of you by saying "now you know you do something wrong so you shut up" I know I can't argue with him, I am relatively a quiet person. And I also know that if I keep arguing with him, it will only make matters worse and doesn't really help the relationship either. So do you have this kind of friend? how do you treat them?
 
i have a friend just like that.. when he acts up i tell him to shut up, he gets angry and goes "what? what?" in my face. i still do it though, because otherwise he'll never shut up.
 
Sounds to me like this guy is very insecure, deep down. Thus, if you do confront him about his immature behavior, he'll just pull away and see you as an enemy.

Perhaps you could talk with a couple of people who are closer friends of his and ask if the behavior bothers them as much as it bothers you. Together, you might be able to confront him and make a difference.

 
well, he deeply deeply believe that he is very good at talking. And some of gals are impressed because he talks alot and sound funny(sometimes at his friends' expense) So that makes him more confident than ever. He lives by mouth...I mean it. I believe he has bothered some of our friends also..but we just keep quiet about it, because it's just his personality. He has been acting this way the day I knew him...so it's not likely that he is going to change. I imagine if I just tell him to shut up, he will just go like "huh? can't take joke?" or "nah, I am just too much for ya" it's pretty disgusting feeling...I don't know how to describe it better..but u got the idea. More feedback?
 
yea just ignore him then. that's what i do, and eventually they get quiet and start mumbling to themselves about how nobody can take a joke.
 
Just nod along to make him happy. Sometimes help is beyond reach if the person is not responsive to what other people are trying to tell him/her.
 


<< yea just ignore him then. that's what i do, and eventually they get quiet and start mumbling to themselves about how nobody can take a joke. >>


I do the same thing. Only that it takes quite a while for him to run out of words. I guess there can be no better solution at this time 🙁
 
I think everyone has a friend like that. What I did at the time was to confront him about it. I was the enemy for a while until he he realized that he was too edgy and insecure, and he seemed to clear up about it. Sometimes people like that seem to not know that they are behaving the way they are.
 


<< I think everyone has a friend like that. What I did at the time was to confront him about it. I was the enemy for a while until he he realized that he was too edgy and insecure, and he seemed to clear up about it. Sometimes people like that seem to not know that they are behaving the way they are. >>



Exactly. If I confront him, maybe that will make him shut up for the time being...not sure if it will change him forever. U know, when you have gals chasing u because they like the way you talk and make fun of people, that really boosts your confidence. And I think that's what happen in his case.
 
Hmm... on second thought, then, I would suggest that you and your friends just laugh him off. Next time he hurts someone, make a point to tell the person he hurt not to worry about it.

Nothing will really change until this loud-mouth has to actually deal with some personl pain of his own. Life is one big learning process that way.... I was pretty cocky myself until I one day came down with Lyme Disease. Believe me, that experience changed the way I view the world...
 
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