Smack-down at the funeral home (almost) (kind of)

[paulxcook]

A quick and semi-loud "ladies the end of the line is back there" probably would've done it. At least the storytelling aspect was good.

 

[AMCRambler]

When somebody's creeping up on you, a nice juicy fart will usually back 'em off hehe.

 

[Linflas]

At my grandmother's (actually step grandmother) funeral one of my uncles nearly got into a fist fight with some relative of hers that had crawled out of the woodwork for the funeral. There was some pushing and shoving at the coffin and it was dangerously close to being tipped over and spilling granny out onto the floor. The town sheriff eventually showed up and my uncle was demanding that these particular folks not be allowed back for the evening service which the sheriff then told him was not possible since a viewing is considered open to the public. He ended up coming back and staying for the evening viewing in case my wacky uncle or grannys wacky relatives got out of hand again. Got to love a West Virginia funeral.

 

[Atomic Playboy]

Turn to the person behind you and say, in an overly loud voice, "What kind of person cuts in line at a funeral?" Then punch the smallest one in a kidney, that'll drop 'em real quick. While the others are trying to help their friend out, casually step over her and reclaim your place in line. When they start to complain, say "What's your hurry? I'm sure the morgue attendants already stole his watch," then turn around and start whistling Guns N' Roses. I'm pretty sure that course of action would end with you getting a parade and a day named in your honor, because those people have no business existing in normal society.

Also....

Originally posted by: NuclearNed
I've changed the names to protect the innocent.
Zardoz
Ahimalech-ben-Abiathar

I've heard of changing names, but were you really attending a funeral with martians?

 

[rocadelpunk]

Originally posted by: Codewiz
DAMN YOU. I wasted my time reading that only to find out you are a wuss.

 

[BurnItDwn]

Was it in the town of Dyer?
Was it Funboy42 who cut in front of you with his kids?

He's hurt his foot and he's got back problems and IIRC he's wheelchair bound. He's one of the guys that actually deserves the disabled parking spaces ...
Maybe you cut in front of him when he was moving slowly so he was just claiming his rightfull place in line, and yet you nearly lose control because of it?


Anyhow, I'm just talking out of my ass.
I hate cutters.
Congrats on showing restraint.
Also, I hate those people who get 15 items in the 10 items or less line and then pretend that they can't frickin speak English when it's pointed out to them.

 

[CPA]

Originally posted by: Mwilding
As utterly rude, classless and inappropriate as cutting line at a wake is, think about how wrong it would have been to have a room clearing brawl.

well restrained, sir.

Yeah, but think how much more fun it would have been.

 

[slayer202]

Originally posted by: D1gger
Very nice writing, as usual Ned, but a sad sad commentary on the wussification of our society.

 

[ScottFern]

This sounds like an episode of Seinfeld.

 

[Nitemare]

Originally posted by: effowe
Man all that buildup for nothing, I expected more from you.

It's NuclearNed not PostalNed...

 

[Born2bwire]

What's a funeral without at least one good belt to the gob of a grieving relative?

 

[child of wonder]

Next time point and yell "Oh my god, it's Jeff Gordon!" then donkey punch them when they turn their heads.

 

[nakedfrog]

Originally posted by: Atomic Playboy
Turn to the person behind you and say, in an overly loud voice, "What kind of person cuts in line at a funeral?" Then punch the smallest one in a kidney, that'll drop 'em real quick. While the others are trying to help their friend out, casually step over her and reclaim your place in line. When they start to complain, say "What's your hurry? I'm sure the morgue attendants already stole his watch," then turn around and start whistling Guns N' Roses. I'm pretty sure that course of action would end with you getting a parade and a day named in your honor, because those people have no business existing in normal society.

Also....

Originally posted by: NuclearNed
I've changed the names to protect the innocent.
Zardoz
Ahimalech-ben-Abiathar

I've heard of changing names, but were you really attending a funeral with martians?

It's a little-known fact that the OP is actually Sean Connery.

 

[NuclearNed]

Originally posted by: nakedfrog

Originally posted by: Atomic Playboy
Turn to the person behind you and say, in an overly loud voice, "What kind of person cuts in line at a funeral?" Then punch the smallest one in a kidney, that'll drop 'em real quick. While the others are trying to help their friend out, casually step over her and reclaim your place in line. When they start to complain, say "What's your hurry? I'm sure the morgue attendants already stole his watch," then turn around and start whistling Guns N' Roses. I'm pretty sure that course of action would end with you getting a parade and a day named in your honor, because those people have no business existing in normal society.

Also....

Originally posted by: NuclearNed
I've changed the names to protect the innocent.
Zardoz
Ahimalech-ben-Abiathar

I've heard of changing names, but were you really attending a funeral with martians?

It's a little-known fact that the OP is actually Sean Connery.

...and I'm Jewish.

(I'm glad someone got the Zardoz reference)

 

[waffleironhead]

umm... the line moved forward and YOU were not looking so they moved forward without you. How is that bad?

 

[Xavier434]

Man, those people were quite foul. You did the right thing though being that it was a funeral. Some things are just more important than pride.

 

[grohl]

You might be a wuss but I love your posts.

 

[rudder]

Nuclear Neds story telling ability: 9.01 out of a possible 10.0

Nuclear Neds testosterone creation ability: 1.3 out of a possible 10.0 (you were saved by the imagined violence)

 

[Auric]

Originally posted by: NuclearNed

(I'm glad someone got the Zardoz reference)

No worries. I, for one, could not help but think of this (god help me).

 

[Alistar7]

Originally posted by: NuclearNed

Originally posted by: darkxshade
Storytelling 9/10

but...

this thread did not deliver :|

You would prefer that I beat an old woman?

Not beat them badly, like the ass whipping the Giants laid down on those choking Patsies, but enough to get your point across.

 

[hanoverphist]

Originally posted by: Leros
This situation could have been avoided had you just said something. But yeah... there is a big chance I would have done the same thing.

not me. i tell people to grab the back of the line all the time. i dont care where it is. its gotten pretty thick at times doing that, but its friggin rude.

 

[rise]

and you want to start a blog?

hahahaha

 

[MmmSkyscraper]

Originally posted by: rise
and you want to start a blog?

hahahaha

 

[Captante]

Originally posted by: NuclearNed

Originally posted by: Codewiz
DAMN YOU. I wasted my time reading that only to find out you are a wuss.

You didn't know that already?

I must say I came into this thread with high expectations, but find myself leaving unfulfillled.



Seriously though, there wasn't much you could have done without making a big scene at your friends fathers funeral ... you did the right thing.

 

[Alistar7]

Originally posted by: Captante

Originally posted by: NuclearNed

Originally posted by: Codewiz
DAMN YOU. I wasted my time reading that only to find out you are a wuss.

You didn't know that already?

I must say I came into this thread with high expectations, but find myself leaving unfulfillled.



Seriously though, there wasn't much you could have done without making a big scene at your friends fathers funeral ... you did the right thing.

Now you know how your wife feels when she comes to bed, or how the Patsies felt in the SB