my sister's like that sometimes (assuming there's nothing important in my life because I'm not married/don't have kids).
I got 2 grand unexpectedly a couple weeks ago (someone repaying a debt that I had completely written off and never expected to actually ever see) and while I was discussing with my brother in law what to do with the left-over cash after paying off my credit card and replenishing my savings, she got like this total attitude that I wasn't going to spend it on my niece.
don't get me wrong, I love my niece, but wtf is a 6-month old even going to appreciate?
I got 2 grand unexpectedly a couple weeks ago (someone repaying a debt that I had completely written off and never expected to actually ever see) and while I was discussing with my brother in law what to do with the left-over cash after paying off my credit card and replenishing my savings, she got like this total attitude that I wasn't going to spend it on my niece.
don't get me wrong, I love my niece, but wtf is a 6-month old even going to appreciate?
My brother the cop stole $4,000.00 from me. He gets nothing.
You should be so lucky, it makes it easy to ignore them after something like that.
You should be so lucky, it makes it easy to ignore them after something like that.
Never reward stupidity or irresponsibility. Just say "NO" and good luck! Tell them you're saving up for a house and the money's tied up in CD's or something. That should shut them up.
Vacation tickets? WTF? Are they buying for you too?
Alternatively, tell them that you bet on a sure thing, but the darn horse race was fixed, and now Jimmy the Fish wants his money or else! Ask for a $10000 loan. :evil:
You could point them to prosper.com or whatever the heck that personal loan website is.
- Jun 10, 2004
- 14,597
- 6,076
- 136
Depending on the culture/background of your family, it can be very hard to refuse. But the best way to avoid this is to never have needed to ask for financial help in the first place. Then you have little to no obligation to return the favor. I've seen an Asian family who had their own business and were doing decently but because the father's elder brother had helped them get it started, were essentially obligated to sell everything off and help him with a new restaurant he was starting in CA when he asked.
NEVER brag about money. Nothing but ill comes of discussing money/salary/bank etc.
HardcoreRobot
Lifer
- Nov 7, 2000
- 16,403
- 3
- 81
Just tell them what it's doing to you and that you can't lend any more since you need the money (just make it up - say you have debt outstanding)
meltdown75
Lifer
- Nov 17, 2004
- 37,548
- 7
- 81
see esquared's post
"i am trying to save money, i can't lend you any"
or
"i know we're family but holy SHIT are you ever a money-grubbing bastard. NO :| "
"i am trying to save money, i can't lend you any"
or
"i know we're family but holy SHIT are you ever a money-grubbing bastard. NO :| "
Tell them to take a hike. If it's a "good deal" but you can't afford it, you don't get to buy it. Unreal!
Gibson486
Lifer
- Aug 9, 2000
- 18,378
- 2
- 0
Man...my gf's sis is that way. She keeps complaining that my gf "makes so much money". She only makes $40K in Taxachussets. That is not alot of money. It's not her fault you decided to take the low road, become 1 step to close to a free hooker, bailed on college, bailed on the army, then decided to bail on your life when all you get attracted to are men who do not understand a word of english. GO waste your life and party everyweekend and buy drinks everynight with your Walmart paycheck. Need I go on? You had it all....first a dad who would do anything for you.....then a free ride from your sis (even though I opposed strongly), then a sis's bf who was willing to help you during college. What do you do? You throw it away and have the nerve to say you hate me because I did not like your friends. GO F YOURSELF! Maybe if you and your firends did not infest my apartment with the smell of weed, I would not have kicked everyone out!
I am so sorry, but the thought of being related to her just makes me mad. I even bought a dam ring to propose to your sis, but it went back after I kept thinking about being related to you!
Sorry for the rant...had to get it off my chest.
I am so sorry, but the thought of being related to her just makes me mad. I even bought a dam ring to propose to your sis, but it went back after I kept thinking about being related to you!
Sorry for the rant...had to get it off my chest.
- May 19, 2003
- 23,332
- 249
- 106
Funnily enough, I talked to my mom about it today, and she told me to tell them to stop asking me to buy shit for them...
She is going to tell them I have problems with them asking me to buy stuff later today, but in a nicer way than she told me to tell them to f-off.
So yeah, I cried to mommy for help.
So
Lifer
- Jul 2, 2001
- 25,923
- 17
- 81
Originally posted by: amdhunter
Funnily enough, I talked to my mom about it today, and she told me to tell them to stop asking me to buy shit for them...
She is going to tell them I have problems with them asking me to buy stuff later today, but in a nicer way than she told me to tell them to f-off.
So yeah, I cried to mommy for help.
Whatever works.
waffleironhead
Diamond Member
- Aug 10, 2005
- 7,049
- 554
- 136
why the F are they going on a vacation if they can not afford their own CC debt? Tell them to learn money management.
To the OP:
Invest in a CD as someone mentioned before and stay out of debt for a long time...
For the family troubles, it won't ever end if you continue to help them as a crutch. Why not let them walk on their own feet instead?
Continue to keep your money in savings and give only an amount you are comfortable with to your family... however instead of giving it to them for luxury items, help them with paying off their debt only.
Afterwards, the money that goes towards car and cc interest currently can help them become more responsible financially. And they can pay you back quicker if they have less debt also.
Invest in a CD as someone mentioned before and stay out of debt for a long time...
For the family troubles, it won't ever end if you continue to help them as a crutch. Why not let them walk on their own feet instead?
Continue to keep your money in savings and give only an amount you are comfortable with to your family... however instead of giving it to them for luxury items, help them with paying off their debt only.
Afterwards, the money that goes towards car and cc interest currently can help them become more responsible financially. And they can pay you back quicker if they have less debt also.
This is what I'm thinking as well. If they can't afford to buy their own tickets for a vacation, they shouldn't be going on a vacation. It really is that simple. And OP, while you mean well, I think you're just furthering them along with their financial ineptitude. By buying things and going on vacations that they can't afford, they get used to a lifestyle that is outside their means. If you're good with your money, you offer to help them manage their own (don't manage it for them!), but don't lend money unless it's an emergency.
I've been asked a few times to lend money to extended family. They don't ask me directly either; they go through my mother so that she can pressure me into it. I've said no every time. Money and family don't mix.
To the OP
No offense, but you need to grow a spine otherwise it won't be just your family trampling all over you like the doormat in front of a one dollar hooker's apartment.
No offense, but you need to grow a spine otherwise it won't be just your family trampling all over you like the doormat in front of a one dollar hooker's apartment.
middlehead
Diamond Member
- Jul 11, 2004
- 4,573
- 2
- 81
tell them no.
and dont be an interest free bank, be a bank that charges interest, 5 or 10% flat rate.
Why cant you people charge interest to family? How is interest immoral or wrong? Is interest unkind or evil?
and dont be an interest free bank, be a bank that charges interest, 5 or 10% flat rate.
Why cant you people charge interest to family? How is interest immoral or wrong? Is interest unkind or evil?
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