Should I Put It All Out There?

[uptown]

Here goes another relationship thread:

I've been with a girl for about two years. Aside from dating, we're also best friends and we work together. The problem is that despite loving each other we fought a lot. Becaue of that, we decided to open up our relationship to allow us to date others while continuing to date each other. I knew this would hurt one of us once the other began dating anybody else ... and it did. She's started non-serious dating with other guys.

Here's the thing ... I love her, and I'm in love with her. I'd always felt it, but a lot of those feelings didn't get their wake-up call until all of this happened ... and now I fear it's too late. If we can resolve our arguing ... which I think we can ... I want this woman in my life forever ... but now it seems like I'm going to lose her.

I'm on the verge of walking up to her place and recreating the scene from "Say Anything" where John Cusack holds the boom-box over his head to win the girl he loves back. Granted it'd take place in the middle of NYC, but I guess that'd take some balls.


Advice?

uptown

 

[UberDave]

take her back while you still can.... she'll realize what she can get without you and you won't mean that much anymore in comparison. PLus over time your time with her will drag to ZERO

 

[amnesiac]

Hm.. I'm kind of split on this one.
If you're positive you can stop fighting, AND you know she feels the same way about you, there should be no reason why you shouldn't try to get her back. Do something creative and romantic to win her back if you want.

Otherwise, if she realizes there are better catches out there, you're SOL. I normally don't have that problem 'cause I ruin my women for other men anyway..

 

[Eli]

Well, how old are you and her? Are you sure this is really the person for you? I mean.. not to be cliche, but there are lots of other people out there.

What makes you think you would want to stay with her for the rest of your life, if you guys fight a lot? Love is a very powerful thing, and it can be decieving..

I want to spend the rest of my life with my girlfriend also, but we've never had a blip on the screen as far as our relationship goes.. So I don't question it much..

Well, the bottom line is.. You certainly aren't going to hurt anything by talking to her. I think you should talk to her. It's the only way anything will ever get worked out. Communication is understanding, and understanding is key. Therefor, communication is the key.

 

[uptown]

Both 26. We've been talking a lot ... but it's one of those things where I don't want it to get to the point where I'm trying to convince her of something. I just want us to give it all one more shot, and I don't feel like that can be done while she's dating other people.

 

[uptown]

...Oh, and to make things more interesting. We've got a vacation planned for this coming weekend.
And that's the thing ... despite her dating other people ... and to a certain degree, withdrawing from me because neither of us know how to act ... we're still ver much in each-other's lives.

 

[her209]

Only 26!!! Go have some fun dude... if it was meant to be then you'll hook up with her again. If it wasn't then you'll already be looking. Its a win-win situation either way my way!

 

[uptown]

Originally posted by: her209
Only 26!!! Go have some fun dude... if it was meant to be then you'll hook up with her again. If it wasn't then you'll already be looking. Its a win-win situation either way my way!

She's at a point in her life where a lot of her friends are engaged or married. I'm at a point in my life where I'm reasonably successful, financially stable ... and if it's the right woman, then I don't have a problem with getting engaged or married early. I just don't want her to turn into the one that got away.

 

[her209]

Originally posted by: uptown

Originally posted by: her209
Only 26!!! Go have some fun dude... if it was meant to be then you'll hook up with her again. If it wasn't then you'll already be looking. Its a win-win situation either way my way!

She's at a point in her life where a lot of her friends are engaged or married. I'm at a point in my life where I'm reasonably successful, financially stable ... and if it's the right woman, then I don't have a problem with getting engaged or married early. I just don't want her to turn into the one that got away.

But if you haven't explored yet either, then she'll turn into the one that trapped you

 

[uptown]

But if you haven't explored yet either, then she'll turn into the one that trapped you

True. I guess I'd just like one more chance to find out.

 

[dude]

If she's trying to explore or get away and you're holding her back, eventually, she'll get away. Think about it. It may be hard to do, but it may be the best solution. Let her explore a little first.

Of course, when it was my turn, I didn't listen to my own advice. Of course, I held on to her and eventually, she did go away.
I was into having fun, and she was into having fun and probably settle down (she has a 5 year old kid).

 

[uptown]

And I've got no clue how this weekend is going to play out. If we're even going to go.
Everything is reserved and paid for ... but it seems like such bad timing considering the past week and our up-in-the-air status.

 

[wnied]

You always want what you cant have, when you cant have it. Dress yourself up and go find another girl. As you look, try to remember what got you to this point in your relationship. Now here's the most important part of my advice to you... IMPROVE UPON IT.

See it, Understand it, Learn from it.
~wnied~

 

[melly]

it's never too late. don't sit around not giving it a chance because you think she might not want to. in fact maybe she's waiting to see if you really did get a wake up call. as with all things, never assume in love.

good luck!

 

[uptown]

I'm just afraid of trying too hard and turning her off even more.