Should I have pressed charges?

Mackie2k

Senior member
May 18, 2000
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Last weekend, I was playing WOW, and I heard someone banging on my front door. This wasn't a normal knock, the person was pounding as hard as they could and ringing the doorbell a million times.

I go downstairs, and ask who it is....It's my Girlfriends 22 year old brother, wanted to talk to my girlfriend (20y/o, I'm 29).

I tell him he needs to chill out and don't @#$@ up in my neighborhood, I don't want to upset the neighbors (one who is a local cop), he swears a bunch, blah blah.

So I get my girlfriend, and ask her if she wants to talk, she says it's ok. She goes outside and talks to him for about 2 minutes, and comes back in the house, the whole time I can hear him screaming at her for some Petty family ****** between her and her mother....NOTHING to do with him. She says he's drunk, he admitted it and she's not dealing with him like this.

After she closes the door and locks it, he pounds on the door, runs into my yard and kicks my solar powered lights out into the CulDeSac, breaking them then does a burnout in the street and drives off about 45 almost knocking down a 8 mailbox wooden structure.

Half the neighbors are outside, my girlfriend is upset. I call the cops, the take our report and file Misdemeanor charges against him for destroying the lights. They arrest him at his home (where my G/f's mom lives) and release him.

He has a court date on Monday. My g/f and I are done with them, we're fedup. This behavior isn't acceptable to me, I didn't grow up like that.

Her mother is pissed now and wants her to drop the charges, but we say no way. We're tired of this kind of behavior and we are done with you. He needs to deal with the consequences of acting like an idiot.

Did we do the right thing? She's pretty much just written her family off, they are all so annoying and stupid, except one half brother and his wife/baby. They are great.

thoughts?

Cliffs:

- Mom and girlfriend fighting
- Brother of G/F drives over drunk and yelling, breaks lights in yard and burns out leaving the neighbor hood
-Cops called, brother is arrested and released
-Mom wants g/f to drop charges, but I pressed and I'm not backing down
- Mackie doesn't give a damn about her family and we're just writing them off
 

Looney

Lifer
Jun 13, 2000
21,938
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Yeah, i think you did the right thing. Maybe this will smarten him up. Not like he's going to go to prison or anything.
 

Vich

Platinum Member
Apr 11, 2000
2,849
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You should medicate him, take him into some field. And ass rape him like leasher. That will teach him a lesson. Trust me... ;)

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slsmnaz

Diamond Member
Mar 13, 2005
4,016
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You are doing the right thing. Let's just hope he gets more than 50hrs of community service.
 

Canai

Diamond Member
Oct 4, 2006
8,016
1
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I think you did the right thing. Too bad he didn't get it for DUI.

I had a friend like that, got violent drunk and drove. Called the cops on him one night after he sideswiped 3 cars in the street. He spent a few months in jail, and it did him good.
 

TheNinja

Lifer
Jan 22, 2003
12,207
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He can pay to get your lights (and anything else he broke) replaced and then you'll let it go this time. If he doesn't stay away or anything like this happens again you'll press to the full extent of the law. But tell them "do not mistake my compassion for weakness" b/c it just proves your badassery
 

dullard

Elite Member
May 21, 2001
26,130
4,785
126
You did the right thing (confront the problem head on), but possibly in the wrong way (involving people outside the family, especially police).

I bet time will sort things out. The Mom may defend the drunken, law-breaking, idiot brother for now. But over time, he'll piss of Mom and Mom will realize the angelic daughter was right all along. It isn't your GF who is writing off the family, it is her brother.
 

eleison

Golden Member
Mar 29, 2006
1,319
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Drop the charges; make him pay for the solar powered lights; avoid him -- he'll eventually do something stupid and get in trouble himself.... he'll learn the lesson then. You shouldn't be teaching him a lesson now.. it only will make him hate you.

Ask yourself the following questions:

what do you expect from charging him? He will not like you. He will not respect you. His parents will hate you. He will not learn his lesson. he will escalate... if you break up with his sister, he will key your car

If you don't charge him and avoid him. He will be ambivalent towards you. He will or will NOT escalate. He will unlikely key your car when and if you break up. He will piss off someone in the future.. he will learn his lesson then. He will of course hate the guy that taught him the lesson... you don't want to be that guy... his family will also hate that guy...
 

rudder

Lifer
Nov 9, 2000
19,441
86
91
If I was a neighbor I would want my mailboxes fixed. Unless he can pay the jack for the repairs by the court date... keep the charges. Especially if the GF will still give you some after getting her brother arrested.
 

thomsbrain

Lifer
Dec 4, 2001
18,148
1
0
you definitely did the right thing. he needs to learn that there will be consequences for his actions. otherwise, he'll just get bolder and escalate his behaviors even more. and that could eventually constitute a safety risk for you and your gf.
 

olds

Elite Member
Mar 3, 2000
50,125
780
126
Since you didn't kick his ass on the spot calling the cops was the next best thing.
 

Garet Jax

Diamond Member
Feb 21, 2000
6,369
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71
Dude, you're looking to the wrong place for forgiveness. Deep down you know whether or not you did the right thing. You want us to tell you something you already know.

The very fact that you're posting here is telling me that you're not comfortable with it.

Listen to your gut - it's never wrong.
 

Mackie2k

Senior member
May 18, 2000
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Originally posted by: rudder
If I was a neighbor I would want my mailboxes fixed. Unless he can pay the jack for the repairs by the court date... keep the charges. Especially if the GF will still give you some after getting her brother arrested.

he almost took out the mailboxes, he didn't hit them though.
 

Mackie2k

Senior member
May 18, 2000
870
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76
www.windowsintune.com
Originally posted by: Garet Jax
Dude, you're looking to the wrong place for forgiveness. Deep down you know whether or not you did the right thing. You want us to tell you something you already know.

The very fact that you're posting here is telling me that you're not comfortable with it.

Listen to your gut - it's never wrong.

I completely AGREE!

I didn't like her brother when he came up from Colorado a few months ago, it was just a gut instinct.

I was always nice to him and her family and generally he was fine, until he drinks. I found out he'd been in jail for assulting police when he was drunk, all kinds of stuff.

My gut tells me to prosecute him and make him pay for his actions.

That's what will happen.
 

RbSX

Diamond Member
Jan 18, 2002
8,351
1
76
Originally posted by: Mackie2k
Originally posted by: Garet Jax
Dude, you're looking to the wrong place for forgiveness. Deep down you know whether or not you did the right thing. You want us to tell you something you already know.

The very fact that you're posting here is telling me that you're not comfortable with it.

Listen to your gut - it's never wrong.

I completely AGREE!

I didn't like her brother when he came up from Colorado a few months ago, it was just a gut instinct.

I was always nice to him and her family and generally he was fine, until he drinks. I found out he'd been in jail for assulting police when he was drunk, all kinds of stuff.

My gut tells me to prosecute him and make him pay for his actions.

That's what will happen.

So long as your comfortable with the fact that this is a path there is no coming back from.
 

Conky

Lifer
May 9, 2001
10,709
0
0
I'd tell the guy the charges get dropped the second he pays for the damage and promises not to ever come near your house again. I would add that the next time he comes by drunk and uninvited that he will end up in jail or worse. ;)
 

eleison

Golden Member
Mar 29, 2006
1,319
0
0
Originally posted by: RyanSengara

So long as your comfortable with the fact that this is a path there is no coming back from.


Looks like two head strong idiots heading towards a collision course. Remember to post the outcome.. hahaha... things like this are always amusing for 3rd parties :) almost like jerry springer... :)
 

RbSX

Diamond Member
Jan 18, 2002
8,351
1
76
Originally posted by: eleison
Originally posted by: RyanSengara

So long as your comfortable with the fact that this is a path there is no coming back from.


Looks like two head strong idiots heading towards a collision course. Remember to post the outcome.. hahaha... things like this are always amusing for 3rd parties :) almost like jerry springer... :)

Of course, but it's a point of no return, it means probably that this girl will never talk to her family again.

While it seems like she's comfortable with it, sometimes people need to hear it from someone else to understand the reality of the situation.