Should I Get Back with My Ex?

Aztech

Golden Member
Jan 19, 2002
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I've only been with her, ever. We dated for about 5 years, then we were married for about 7 more. It was never great, but it was pretty good. We did fight about money a lot, and I never thought I was truly in love. We decided to try separating for a while... well, she started seeing other people and got pregnant in a one-night stand. Now she has a baby that's like 6 months old. She's moved back in with her mother. Now she wants to get back with me.

During our 18 months "apart" we did keep contact. On the phone, but also a few "sessions" together. I did miss her. I've only ever known her, all of my adult life. During the separation and divorce I got hit by Katrina and also my brother was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer. I've had no chance to meet other women, not that I'd begin to know how to approach dating at this point.

I certainly still have feelings for her. Our time apart has made me want her back. But I should probably walk away. I'm pathetic right?
 

Accipiter22

Banned
Feb 11, 2005
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oh my......dude....she's looking for someone to lean on and support her and her new child. Run. Go read slappy's thread about the 8.5 year relationship. He's taking the right attitude (getting on with life, running...swiftly)
 

doze

Platinum Member
Jul 26, 2005
2,786
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Sounds like she wants you back b/c her life has gone to crap with you gone. but the question of the day is do you really want to raise some other guy's kid with the woman you were/are still in love with?

I wouldn't want to. And the one night stand thing is probably a lie too.
 

PowerEngineer

Diamond Member
Oct 22, 2001
3,598
774
136

wow...

I think it'd be best for you to put her (and her child) behind you. File for a divorce. Time to move on.

Sorry
 

Aztech

Golden Member
Jan 19, 2002
1,922
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Originally posted by: PowerEngineer

wow...

I think it'd be best for you to put her (and her child) behind you. File for a divorce. Time to move on.

Sorry

We are divorced.

 

Darthvoy

Golden Member
Aug 3, 2004
1,825
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yes..i am sure she was thinking of you when she was having sex with the father of her child. My advise, get the hell away from her and never speak to her again.
 

Aztech

Golden Member
Jan 19, 2002
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Originally posted by: Accipiter22
oh my......dude....she's looking for someone to lean on and support her and her new child. Run. Go read slappy's thread about the 8.5 year relationship. He's taking the right attitude (getting on with life, running...swiftly)
I was actually reading the first couple of pages when I decided to make my thread...

 

tfinch2

Lifer
Feb 3, 2004
22,114
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There are more fish in the sea, especially ones without baggage and kids.

SWIM FASTER TO GET AWAY!
 

Aztech

Golden Member
Jan 19, 2002
1,922
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I know she's been with about 3 other guys since we split. Should I care though? We weren't together at that point. I could've done the same thing, but I didn't. I guess if I had the opportunities, I would have.
 

Stumps

Diamond Member
Jun 18, 2001
7,125
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Originally posted by: Aztech
Originally posted by: PowerEngineer

wow...

I think it'd be best for you to put her (and her child) behind you. File for a divorce. Time to move on.

Sorry

We are divorced.

then you are FREE....off you go little one, be free and wild
 

JackBurton

Lifer
Jul 18, 2000
15,993
14
81
Seriously dude, get your head together and FOR NO REASON should you go back to her. She has a kid that's not yours for Christ's sake. You can get a brand new girl with NO kid, and you'll probably have a better chance at being happy. Let me tell you what you'll get IF you go back. You'll be as miserable as you were before AND you'll have a kid. She wants to get together with you now because she needs someone to help her take care of that kid. She may tell you all kinds of other crap, like "I now realize how much I loved you," but what she really means is, "sh!t, I fvcked up! Now who do I know that can help me out in my situation?" BAM, that's you. Now suck it up and make some moves to find a new girl.
 

dbk

Lifer
Apr 23, 2004
17,685
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How do you feel about the kid? You'll have to support another man's offspring.
 

djheater

Lifer
Mar 19, 2001
14,637
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Originally posted by: Aztech
I know she's been with about 3 other guys since we split. Should I care though? We weren't together at that point. I could've done the same thing, but I didn't. I guess if I had the opportunities, I would have.

The point is you don't call up your ex-husband 6 months after having a child with another man and ask to get back together, the fact that she did indicates how very f'ed up she is.

I don't know, considering you're thinking about it, I have to believe you're a couple sandwiches short of a picnic as well.

good luck. Please ignore all the advice you're getting.
 

JackBurton

Lifer
Jul 18, 2000
15,993
14
81
Originally posted by: Aztech
I know she's been with about 3 other guys since we split. Should I care though? We weren't together at that point. I could've done the same thing, but I didn't. I guess if I had the opportunities, I would have.

Hard reality man, SHE HAS A KID NOW! Get away from her...very far away.
 

amicold

Platinum Member
Feb 7, 2005
2,656
1
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Originally posted by: doze
Sounds like she wants you back b/c her life has gone to crap with you gone. but the question of the day is do you really want to raise some other guy's kid with the woman you were/are still in love with?

I wouldn't want to. And the one night stand thing is probably a lie too.

I doubt it, cause it's more whoreish to get pregnant in a one night stand than a fling sorta thing.