Should I completely shave the bastard cat that keeps sh!tting on my front lawn?

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PottedMeat

Lifer
Apr 17, 2002
12,363
475
126
Originally posted by: tHa ShIzNiT
Shave it and skin it.

Wear the skin as a coat as a warning to other cats?

Grease it and set it on fire?

Beartrap?

Crucify it on your lawn?

Cat catapult?

Cat silencer?

Use it as bait to catch dogs?

The possibilities are endless!

 

Luthien

Golden Member
Feb 1, 2004
1,721
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Originally posted by: RichUK
Originally posted by: alkemyst
Originally posted by: RichUK
I know which cat it is, and this cat will only crap on my front lawn, but not anyone else?s. :|

Why it only craps in my garden I don?t know, but I?ve decided it?s now time to take action!

Be a man and find the owner.

Unfortunately the owner is an inept 60+ year old lady. I?m sure talking to her will yield no effect on the situation, so I shan?t waste my time trying to resolve the situation through her.


Of course she is inept she doesnt agree with you shaving her cat and you probably never spoke with her in your life. She probably has children and I hope her son comes over your house and shaves you bald then super glues it to your azz.
 

PottedMeat

Lifer
Apr 17, 2002
12,363
475
126
Originally posted by: RichUK
Originally posted by: Luthien
How about all you lawn lovers subscribe to some lawn lover porn sites instead. What a bunch of babies crying about a cat pooping on their lawn. Oh, no!

Heck why not call the pound about the rabbits, squirrels, moles, voles, shrews, snakes, bugs, birds, chipmunks, rats, mice, frogs and the plethera of other wildlife that craps, pisses, crawls, scampers, runs and walks on your lawn while your at it. What a bunch of silly twisted stuck up whiners.

How old are you, 12?

Go back to playing pokemon, kiddo. ;)

Dont worry about him, looks like you hit a nerve :D
 

RichUK

Lifer
Feb 14, 2005
10,341
678
126
Originally posted by: Luthien
Originally posted by: RichUK
Originally posted by: alkemyst
Originally posted by: RichUK
I know which cat it is, and this cat will only crap on my front lawn, but not anyone else?s. :|

Why it only craps in my garden I don?t know, but I?ve decided it?s now time to take action!

Be a man and find the owner.

Unfortunately the owner is an inept 60+ year old lady. I?m sure talking to her will yield no effect on the situation, so I shan?t waste my time trying to resolve the situation through her.


Of course she is inept she doesnt agree with you shaving her cat and you probably never spoke with her in your life. She probably has children and I hope her son comes over your house and shaves you bald then super glues it to your azz.

Correction, I have spoke to her on occasions but I mostly choose not to.

You really shouldn?t assume, perhaps she wouldn?t mind if I shaved her cat. Maybe I should ask her first?
 

Tiamat

Lifer
Nov 25, 2003
14,068
5
71
Talk to the neighbors and threaten that next time the local pound will be calling them about their cat
 

soydios

Platinum Member
Mar 12, 2006
2,708
0
0
If you shave the cat, it'll just sh1t on your lawn more. The psychology behind it works like this: the cat won't stop the offending behavior (crapping on your lawn), but will instead avoid the punisher (you).

Get a good and accurate spring airsoft rifle. Here's a good one: http://www.shortyusa.com/cart/viewitem....istcategory.html&RID=1&NL=&CA=1&kiosk=. My friend has it, and it's surprisingly accurate for a $40 gun. Shoot your friends with it too, if you'd like. Oh, and if you don't want the cat's owner to sue you, shoot the cat when it's looking in the opposite direction, so you don't explode an eye.
 

TheChort

Diamond Member
May 20, 2003
4,203
0
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Originally posted by: RichUK
Originally posted by: Luthien
Of course she is inept she doesnt agree with you shaving her cat and you probably never spoke with her in your life. She probably has children and I hope her son comes over your house and shaves you bald then super glues it to your azz.

Correction, I have spoke to her on occasions but I mostly choose not to.

You really shouldn?t assume, perhaps she wouldn?t mind if I shaved her cat. Maybe I should ask her first?

Tell her you want to cut her cat's hair. Say that your cousin did it and it looks great on his cat.
 

manowar821

Diamond Member
Mar 1, 2007
6,063
0
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We had a thread about dogs doing this, too. Don't go after the cat, go after the owner.

Follow the cat back to it's house, and then confront the owner.
 

gwrober

Golden Member
Sep 3, 2005
1,293
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Originally posted by: TheChort
If you do this you had better post some PICS!!

If I find out the cat's been shaved, and you haven't posted pics ... I will fvckin fly out to London (or whatever else european city you happen to be working at that week) and cut your balls off and show them off at TFNN.

Whoa! hardcore! :Q
 

gwrober

Golden Member
Sep 3, 2005
1,293
0
0
Seems alot of ATOT'rs forget that cat waste stinks to high heaven, like ammonia. We have a few strays that visit our property almost every night, and it SMELLS.

The Scarecrow option looks good. But then, my BB rifle looks like a good option too. I think it's funny that someone suggested dying the cat blue, etc....hilarious! But I don't know if the owner would even realize that it's a message - they may just assume that the cat got into something.....

Now, shave the cat, and write on it's side with a sharpie "Keep your cat off my property" or something like that, may do well at communicating the message. BUT, shaving and writing on a cat is a challenge in itself...
 

ebaycj

Diamond Member
Mar 9, 2002
5,418
0
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Originally posted by: SVT Cobra
First of all you can buy special smelling pellets that only animals can smell that will keep it from going near your lawn...think with your head and go to a pet store.

Second, if you ever touched one of my cats without talking to me first and asking me to keep it off my lawn you would have to deal with me...maybe I'd shave your head. ;)

On that thought...here is something that you might try...you know something that might work...something that could be an easy feasible solution...TALK TO THE OWNER.


better than smelly pellets - cyanide laced meat !
 

Turin39789

Lifer
Nov 21, 2000
12,218
8
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congratulations on having a good enough life that this kind of think actually makes it on your radar.
 

gwrober

Golden Member
Sep 3, 2005
1,293
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Originally posted by: HombrePequeno
First off try talking to the owner. It might actually work.

If that doesn't work get a super soaker or an airsoft pistol. The cat will learn not to sh!t in your lawn.

HEADSHOT
 

Superrock

Senior member
Oct 28, 2000
467
1
0
Don't use a BB gun that'll just wrong.

I suggest gettign that motion activated water deterent on that dog crapping on lawn thread. Or getting a more generalized motion detecting lawn sprinkler system.

If that doesn't work or if you don't want to waste water, then try a sonic motion sensor fence. You might need to put a collar on the cat for a sonic system and would probably need the old lady's permission if this is the case.
 

ranmaniac

Golden Member
May 14, 2001
1,940
0
76
Return the cat sh*t in the owners mailbox with a letter stating that you are returning the owners property. Or just fill it in a bag and light it on the owners porch.