So I had to shoot a short film on saturday- I hired professional actors who were willing to work for free.. They were awesome and it was a great experience. My partner, an immigrant who's very sweet but a little naive, got me into a bit of trouble with one of the actors. The short was a silly scene involving a man meeting a woman in a park. The actress was running late and I, as the director, began freaking out... I jokingly said "Sh1t, I'm going to have to call my bud Eric to be her part." Now I wasn't gay bashing at all and just said it in passing.. My partner, on the other hand, said the offensive "oh, but that would turn this into a horror movie!" Now the problem is that the actor was definately gay (I don't think that my assistant picked up on that) and seemed offended.. I quickly changed the subject and the actor remained professional through out... Now I was very nice to everyone at the shoot and paid for his lunch and even offered to buy him a sweater since he was cold during the shoot (I offered the actress the same)- so I wasn't mistreating him at all.. but now I sent the actress and the actor identical thank you notes..The actress replied and suggested that we work again in the future...I haven't heard from the actor since... Should I apologize? Should I just let it go? Am I being too sensitive and did he probably just brush the comment off?
Should I apologize?
- Thread starter slackerinabox
- Start date
Can you call him up and personally thank him? You will probably be able to judge his demeanor better on the phone... Actually, in person would be even better.
I agree- that's the best thing to do but I don't have his number (he literally just moved into the city last week).
Schadenfreude
Lifer
- Dec 28, 2001
- 11,391
- 3
- 0
If you were the one in charge, you should be responsible for everyone under you - that means even the things other people say. Go apologize/send an apology letter - you never know when you'll need him again (perhaps never, perhaps sometime soon).
OK, here's my problem though..If I apologize I run the risk of my gaydar being off and him not being gay... If that's the case then my apology would end up being offensive...
I would send him a note of apology. You really are sorry... your assistant didn't know, and he seemed a little offended (plus, he worked for free).
Thank him for his work in the film, etc. etc...
Which two actors did you end up using?
Thank him for his work in the film, etc. etc...
Which two actors did you end up using?
Hey,
I used her and him. I know you guys wanted me to go with a younger female and a dorkier male but I wanted it to be a slightly unconventional romance (older woman, younger man).. I'm thinking about sending him a note but wonder how to word it so that it doesn't offend him if he isn't gay..
P.S. Her eyes look really good in black and white, unlike some of the other actresses...
P.P.S. If you're curious my next short will star her, her, and possibly her - I can't believe that all these people are willing to work for free!
She doesn't look too old... as for slightly unconventional romance, straight female with a gay male would definitely qualify.
Can you put the final results online?As for the apology, perhaps you could send it without being too specific... "I apologize for any inappropriate comments that may have been made during the process of filming by my assistant/staff..." If you aren't sure he's gay, directing a specific apology to him "I'm sorry if my assistant offended you..." may be too much of a risk.
See, I have no problem yelling at actors - I had to do that the other day.. Just comments like that misrepresent me and my art.... It's hard to explain.. I literally told a guy to STFU and feel no need to apologize... I'm not a wuss I'm just not a cave man either..
I wouldn't send anything more, you already sent him a thank you note just like you sent the actress. If he really is pissed over this one comment he's needs to stop being such a pansy. People get offended and persecuted all the time for various things. People nowadays are WAY to sensative about everything it's annoying me.
Originally posted by: Dezign
She doesn't look too old... as for slightly unconventional romance, straight female with a gay male would definitely qualify.
As for the apology, perhaps you could send it without being too specific... "I apologize for any inappropriate comments that may have been made during the process of filming by my assistant/staff..." If you aren't sure he's gay, directing a specific apology to him "I'm sorry if my assistant offended you..." may be too much of a risk.
I'm wording the apology now- any other suggestions? As far as her being too old.. Well, she's in her 30s and he's 20... So there's a big age difference..but she's definately a pretty and talented lady.. I'll definately post the finished short film up once I get the film processed, edit the film, and then xfer it onto miniDv (that can take a while
Thanks for being interested! I'll be shooting another short in a few weeks - I just finished the script if you'd like to see it...
Red Dawn
Elite Member
- Jun 4, 2001
- 57,529
- 3
- 0
Yeah turn in your testicles. What if this guy isn't a swish? You could really ruin his day suggesting that you think he is. And if he is what's the big deal? He shouldn't of been offended by that comment. Because he is an actor there are probably a dozen different reasons he might have been temporarily taken back by the comment. Hell he might of just had bad gas and the exact moment.Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
Originally posted by: Dezign
She doesn't look too old... as for slightly unconventional romance, straight female with a gay male would definitely qualify.
As for the apology, perhaps you could send it without being too specific... "I apologize for any inappropriate comments that may have been made during the process of filming by my assistant/staff..." If you aren't sure he's gay, directing a specific apology to him "I'm sorry if my assistant offended you..." may be too much of a risk.
I'm wording the apology now- any other suggestions?
squirrel dog
Diamond Member
- Oct 10, 1999
- 5,564
- 48
- 91
don't apologize...that would mean u acknowledge the 'bashing' or 'joke'...whatever...
if u really want to, do it in person...these things are not very cool done over paper.
if u really want to, do it in person...these things are not very cool done over paper.
You jokingly said that you should get Eric to play a girl, right? And then your friend said that if Eric was a girl, that it would be scary.
You could stick to the above defense. And say you apologize if the actor took it differently, because you later realized he could have.
dfi
You could stick to the above defense. And say you apologize if the actor took it differently, because you later realized he could have.
dfi
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