Shortest amount of time you've held a job?

[Whoozyerdaddy]

4 hours making scrambled eggs for a Mother's Day buffet.
1 shift at a movie theater.

 

[TraumaRN]

~6 months. Job was rampant with nepotism, people screwing in the locker rooms, management spreading rumors about every staff person, doctors who would mock/name call patients during procedures(patients were knocked out with drugs but still thats awful) Just overall shitty workplace...

 

[Krynj]

Early last year I was pretty desperate for employment. A local pizza shop was hiring, so I dropped off an app. About a week later, as my girlfriend and I are getting ready to go visit her folks, the guy calls and asks me if I'm still interested. I say yeah, and then he tells me to come into work and get started. I walk in, and I'm there for less than 5 minutes before he has me making a pizza. Didn't even have me wash my hands.

Place was such a dump, and their pizza was so shitty. I was to be the delivery driver, but nobody ever ordered from there, so during a single shift, I'd have like, 2 deliveries. I was ready to work 12 hour days if he wanted me to, but, the food was so bad, he'd send me home after 4 hours. In the 5 or 6 shifts I worked, I never saw another employee there. And I'm pretty sure that to this day, his pizza place is just some kind of coverup. This guy has got to be some kind of drug dealer or something.

He expected me to be on call on nights and weekends, in case it got busy. Some friends in Boston invited a bunch of us to come stay for the weekend, so I said fuck it and went. Guy tried calling me all night long too. Pretty sure he got the picture. Ended up working there for about 2 weeks, which was about 5 or 6 shifts.

Not even sure why this guy would open a shitty little pizza shop across from one of the largest independent pizza franchises in Maine. We would sit there and watch the pizza place across the street swarming with customers every single night. Meanwhile his restaurant was empty, and we'd mostly just watch TV all night. Guy was a dick too.

 

[tonygeor]

2 days at Giant Eagle, Being a cashier = sux0r

 

[boomhower]

About two weeks. Got hired for a management trainer but the recruiting guy. The manager of the store I was assigned to thought I was hired as a sales guy. One I don't do sales, two I don't know shit about how to build a house. Said to hang on and the next management job was mine. In the meantime I was loading trucks in a hot ass warehouse for shit pay. Quit after two weeks. Funny think was a few months later I got a bonus check for some benchmark the store hit.

 

[Leros]

Not sure if this counts.

I got my first job when I was 16 at a Fazoli's. On my first day of training, I had car troubles (my car died at a red light and I had to get a jump) and showed up 5 minutes late. They fired me on the spot.

 

[IcePickFreak]

1 week at a spice mixing place some years ago. Was looking for a 2nd job for some extra cash at the time and applied for a 3rd shift fork-lift driver (wanted something laid back for a 2nd job), interviewed for a 3rd shift fork-lift driver job, and got hired for a 3rd shift fork-lift driver job. Started on a Monday and to watch a few of their dumb general safety videos, and the 3rd shift foreman (who I didn't meet until that day) brought in some paperwork for me to fill out. That's when I noticed one labeled for a mixer operator. :hmm: The foreman was a bit retarded and didn't have an answer, but I figured I'd give it a shot anyway.

It took all of a day to 'master' the job since it was so basic, and we'd always finish early so he'd have to find other stuff for us to do. I started to get really suspicious when he gave me a 5 minute demonstration of how to brush off the top of 55 gallon drums with a little hand broom. By the end of the week we'd be cleaning up really early and he'd still come in barking orders, so I told him to grab a broom because "There is no "I" in team" (one of his favorite sayings )

Needless to say, the HR lady I originally had interviewed with called me on Sunday night a few hours before starting time and said I was no longer needed. When I asked her if I was no longer needed for the job they had me doing, or the one she actually hired me for, she hung up.

 

[Rifter]

45 min.

It was a network assistant job(worked under the network admin fixing server issues and installing new network hardware)

I went into my bosses office to ask him a question, door was open about 2" so i didnt knock. Saw him taking a flap out of his desk, not a big deal i dont care who is doing coke as long as my cheque clears. Then i kept opening the door and saw the office assistant putting her clothes back on in the corner of the room. Which also wouldnt have been a issue i dont care who you are fucking either but he was married to the office manager so i decided this was going to be to much drama and walked out and didnt even tell anyone i was quiting.

 

[xSauronx]

jeebus, some of you have had shitty jobs
i dont think ive had a job anywhere for less than a year.

 

[1sikbITCH]

Assuming you actually had to show up and begin the first day to qualify, 2 hours is my shortest time. Dinner rush, busboy at Po' Folks. Fuck you cya I left at break time. I never bothered to get my check.