Short but Funny Jokes

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J

Josh

Lifer
Mar 20, 2000
10,917
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Mickey Mouse is having a nasty divorce with Minnie Mouse. Mickey spoke to the judge about the separation. "I'm sorry Mickey, but I can't legally separate you two on the grounds that Minnie is mentally insane..." Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was mentally insane, I said that she's fu***ng goofy!"

Michael Jackson is walking out from the operating room after his wife gave birth to their son. Michael says "Hey Doc how long till we can have sex?" The Doctor says "At least wait till he is walking Michael!!"

Someone (I have no idea who) just IMed me with those. ;)
 
P

Pastore

Diamond Member
Feb 9, 2000
9,728
0
76


<< Michael Jackson is walking out from the operating room after his wife gave birth to their son. Michael says &quot;Hey Doc how long till we can have sex?&quot; The Doctor says &quot;At least wait till he is walking Michael!!&quot; >>


HAHA! That one is truly great! :)
 
J

Josh

Lifer
Mar 20, 2000
10,917
0
0


<< &quot;Short but funny jokes&quot; ----->JOSHPOKEBALL!!! ;)


j/k You set yourself up for that one!!!!!! >>



Only you TRP :p
 
LordMaul

LordMaul

Lifer
Nov 16, 2000
15,168
1
0


<< go here for a good site >>



AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!

I signed up for that site's mailing list like 2 years ago, and even after un-subing to the 6 million lists the signed me up for, I STILL get email from them!
 
K

kbm5

Banned
Feb 22, 2001
634
0
0
This joke, taken from an earlier thread, really got me laughing:

Superman was feeling bored after a long streak of crime fighting and wanted to go out and party, so he called Batman to ask if he wanted to go to a club and pick up some girls.

Batman said Robin was ill and he had to look after him. A little disappointed, Superman called Spiderman to see if he fancied a few beers. Spiderman told him he had a date with Catwoman.

As a last resort, Superman flew over to Wonder Woman's apartment to see if she was free. As he landed on her balcony, he saw Wonder Women naked on the bed with her legs open. Superman thought to himself: &quot;I'm faster than a speeding bullet I could be in there, have sex, and be out again before she knew what was happening.&quot; So Superman did his super thing in a split second and flew off happily.

Meanwhile on the bed, Wonder Women said: &quot; Did you hear something?&quot; &quot;No!&quot; said the Invisible Man, &quot;but my ass hurts like hell!&quot;

Hehehe.



 
J

Josh

Lifer
Mar 20, 2000
10,917
0
0


<< This joke, taken from an earlier thread, really got me laughing:

Superman was feeling bored after a long streak of crime fighting and wanted to go out and party, so he called Batman to ask if he wanted to go to a club and pick up some girls.

Batman said Robin was ill and he had to look after him. A little disappointed, Superman called Spiderman to see if he fancied a few beers. Spiderman told him he had a date with Catwoman.

As a last resort, Superman flew over to Wonder Woman's apartment to see if she was free. As he landed on her balcony, he saw Wonder Women naked on the bed with her legs open. Superman thought to himself: &quot;I'm faster than a speeding bullet I could be in there, have sex, and be out again before she knew what was happening.&quot; So Superman did his super thing in a split second and flew off happily.

Meanwhile on the bed, Wonder Women said: &quot; Did you hear something?&quot; &quot;No!&quot; said the Invisible Man, &quot;but my ass hurts like hell!&quot;

Hehehe. >>



ROFL!!!
 
C

chiwawa626

Lifer
Aug 15, 2000
12,013
0
0
There was this boy who masturbated a lot, so his dad went to talk to him. His dad went in his room,
dad: &quot;son, if you masterbate to much, you will go blind&quot;
son: &quot;Dad im over here!&quot;
 
J

Josh

Lifer
Mar 20, 2000
10,917
0
0


<< There was this boy who masturbated a lot, so his dad went to talk to him. His dad went in his room,
dad: &quot;son, if you masterbate to much, you will go blind&quot;
son: &quot;Dad im over here!&quot; >>



Ahhh, that's a classic :D
 
J

jahawkin

Golden Member
Aug 24, 2000
1,355
0
0
So a Germanman, a Frenchman and an Irishman all walk into a bar and the bartender goes &quot;What is this a joke?&quot;
 
GasX

GasX

Lifer
Feb 8, 2001
29,033
6
81
A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says to him, &quot;Hey buddy, why the long face?&quot;
 
C

Clinotus

Golden Member
Jan 6, 2001
1,042
0
0
Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it said from 2-4 years.
 
U

Ulfwald

Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
May 27, 2000
8,646
0
76
What has four legs and an arm?
A happy pit-bull.

Why don't blind people skydive?
Because it scares the hell out of the dog.

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with....The other is used to carry groceries.

&quot;TEN REASONS WHY PEOPLE OF THE WORLD THINK AMERICANS ARE CRAZY:&quot;

01. A pizza gets to our house faster than an ambulance.

02. There are handicap parking places in front of skating rinks.

03. Drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

04. People order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

05. Banks leave two sets of front doors unlocked and open and then chain their pens to the counters.

06. We leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

07. We use answering machines to screen calls and then have &quot;call waiting&quot; so we won't miss a call from someone we don't want to talk to in the first place.

08. We buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in package of eight.

09. We use the word &quot;politics&quot; to precisely describe our crazy process: &quot;Poli&quot; in Latin means &quot;many&quot; and &quot;tics&quot; means &quot;bloodsucking creatures&quot;.

10. We have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
 
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