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Shocking Educational Development!! ***Confirmed*** NOW WITH 67.5% MORE SEX and football!

Amused

Amused

Elite Member
One day a second grade kid named Billy was getting help with math
from his teacher, Mrs. Johnson. Mrs. Johnson asked the question,
"Billy, if there are three birds on a wire and someone shoots one
of them, how many are left?"

"None," answered Billy.

"Now Billy," said Mrs. Johnson holding up three fingers, "there
are three birds on this wire. If I shoot one of them," Mrs.
Johnson lowers one of her fingers, leaving only one up, "how many
are left?"

"None are left, because the shot that killed the one bird scared
the other two off," answered Billy.

"Hmm," said Mrs. Johnson, "You're answer is wrong, but I like the
way you think."

"I have a question for you, Mrs. Johnson," said Billy. "There
are three women all eating lollipops. One is licking hers,
another is biting hers and the third one is sucking hers. How
can you tell which one is married?"

Mrs. Johnson was shocked and looked down at Billy's angelic face.
"Billy, I can't believe you would ask be such a question. You
know I can't answer that."

"Come on, Mrs. Johnson, I answered your question, please answer
mine."

"Oh, all right. It's the one who's sucking."

"No, silly. It's the one with the wedding ring." Billy winks,
"But I like the way you think."
 
A man with a 50 inch long dick goes to his doctor to complain that he is unable to get any women to have sex with him. They all tell me that my dick is too long.
"Doctor," he asked, in total frustration, "is there any way you can shorten it?"

The doctor replied, "Medically son, there is nothing I can do. But, I do know this witch who may be able to help you." So the doctor gives him directions to the witch.

The man calls upon the witch and relays his story. "Witch, my dick is 50 inches long and I can't get any women to have sex with me. Can you help me shorten it?"

The witch asked him to "Pull it out and let me look at it." The man uncoils his 50 inch rod. The witch stares in amazement, scratches her head, and then replies, "I think I have a solution to your problem. What you have to do is go to this pond deep in the forest. In the pond you will see a frog sitting on a log who can help solve your dilemma.
First you must ask the frog, will you marry me? Each time the frog declines your proposal, your dick will be ten inches shorter."

The man's face lit up and he dashed off into the forest. He came upon the pond and sure enough, there sat this frog on a log. He called out to the frog, "will you marry me?"

The frog looked at him dejectedly and replied, "NO". The man looked down and suddenly his dick was 10 inches shorter.

"WOW," he screamed out loud, "This is great!! But it's still too long at 40 inches, so I'll ask the frog to marry me again."

"Frog, will you marry me?," the guy shouted. The frog rolled its eyes back in its head and screamed back, "NO!" The man felt another twitch in his dick, looked down, and it was another 10 inches shorter. The man laughed, "This is fantastic."

He looked down at his dick again, 30 inches long, and reflected for a moment. Thirty inches is still a monster, just a little less would be ideal. So, I'll ask the frog to marry me one more time.

Grinning, he looked across the pond and yelled out, "Frog will you marry me?"

The frog looked back across pond shaking its head,
"NO..........NO..........and for the last time..........NO!!!"
 
An old favourite of mine. Doesn't even need to be football season for it to be funny. 🙂

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Michigan
Wolverine. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were
Wolverines too. No one really knowing what a Michigan Wolverine was but
wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like
fleshy fireworks.

There is, however, one exception. A girl named Kristen
has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has
decided to be different.

"Because I'm not a Wolverine."

Then, asks the teacher, what are you?

"Why, I'm a proud Ohio State Buckeye", boasts the little girl.

The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks
Kristen why she is a rebel.

"Well, my mom and dad are Buckeyes, so I'm a Buckeye too."

The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if
your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?"

A pause, and a smile. "Then," says Kristen, "I'd be a Wolverine."

ZV

<--"I wanna go back to Ohio State, to old Columbus town..."
 
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