Share your mother-in-law stories

[steve wilson]

ugh. ugh My MIL is bat shit insane. Odds are i posted before about some of the insane things she has done.

When we were fighting for custody of My wife's younger sister (who we had pretty much raised anyway) she told my wife she was going to tell the judge that I molested her sister but i have also molested EVERY girl that lives in my town (for the record there was only 4 girls under 15 at the time) and my daughter. While she didn't actually fallow through with it we were pissed. I Told all the parents of the girls so they weren't shocked. They were pissed that she would even think about dragging a innocent child into it (all the families know her since she used to live in town).

She DID call DCFS on me claiming I did molest the youngest daughter and another Foster girl (this was before we fought for custody). DCFS and a Police detective came out and talked with me. It was found to be false and the detective recommended i keep all records and file suit. She did it 3 more times over the next few years.

She would call Whenever she would call and ask us for money (well a large sum) and us refuse. It got to the point DCFS would come out and talk to me and leave. no detectives and they stopped talking to the girls.

I think when all said and done she did it 4-5 times and threatened like 10 times.

That must of been scary the first time she did it. Can't imagine the stress and sleepless nights.

 

[jersiq]

My mother in law died of cancer about 4 months after my wife and I married.
Weekly, I wish she was still here to help us with our kids. My own parents are either incompetent or have no interest in watching the kids while we enjoy a night out and we just can't afford a babysitter at this point. I often wonder what my wife and kids' life would have been like if she was still around. In the time I knew her, she was a very loving and accepting person.

Sometimes, people underestimate how awkward the other side of the situation is. I am sure there is an "in-law" forum where there is a post: "I just said/did the most awkward thing in the world to my son-in-law the other day"

 

[steve wilson]

My mother in law died of cancer about 4 months after my wife and I married.
Weekly, I wish she was still here to help us with our kids. My own parents are either incompetent or have no interest in watching the kids while we enjoy a night out and we just can't afford a babysitter at this point. I often wonder what my wife and kids' life would have been like if she was still around. In the time I knew her, she was a very loving and accepting person.

Sometimes, people underestimate how awkward the other side of the situation is. I am sure there is an "in-law" forum where there is a post: "I just said/did the most awkward thing in the world to my son-in-law the other day"

I'd love to read that forum

 

[bearxor]

I was walking with my wife and MIL in to a grocery store one day and a woman drive in to the parking lane really fast and almost ran over us. She was oriental. I'm not above making racist jokes so I turned to my wife and said, jokingly (because I don't REALLY believe this), "I guess she just can't see with those narrow eyes!".

We were laughing about it for about 10 seconds. Then my MIL says in a very serious voice, "Well, they can't see well."

 

[Golgatha]

Had only been married about a year and I got an $11k inheritance from my Great Aunt. Paid off my remaining undergraduate student loan balance ($5-6k) while still in graduate school (on a full ride teaching assistant scholarship, so no more debt was accumulating). Put the remainder in savings minus $400, which my wife and I agreed was ok to spend on a 27in Sony Trinitron TV for a nice want purchase. MiL got huffy that I was blowing money needlessly and was irresponsible, etc.

Got in her face and explained very directly that unless my spending was causing harm to our new family, she really had no business commenting on our finances. She persisted with the bitching and I really did lose my cool. I told her our finances were none of her (Fbombing) business and if my wife and I make a decision together, even if that decision is to go to Las Vegas and bet it all on black, that her opinions were unwanted, unwelcome, uncalled for, and are meaningless to me; also, don't ever (fbombing) lecture me again about money. I don't think she's ever questioned anything we've done financially since.

 

[BikeJunkie]

snip

I hear ya. My wife's stepmother used to be just like that. Damn if that woman didn't just have to know EVERYTHING, and she'd pick a fight over ANYTHING. Just like you and your toaster. My wife finally had a heart-to-heart with her a few years ago and it actually did wonders. "We're adults. We're capable of adult decisions. You need to respect them. You need to respect our opinions." blah blah blah

Now she's awesome and a total blast to be around. Amazing difference.

 

[BikeJunkie]

And and congrats on the minimalism. That's one of the keys to happiness if you ask me. You don't need tons of shit. You don't need a Mercedes. You just need a place that's safe, feels like home, and has what you need: no more, no less. Good job.

 

[Vdubchaos]

Pretty easy solution OP.

1) Hand the toaster back and say "thanks, but no thanks"
2) Who cares, you got the car for YOU not her
3) tell her to leave. She has no business touching your personal items/snoop around your place.

 

[slackerinabox]

And and congrats on the minimalism. That's one of the keys to happiness if you ask me. You don't need tons of shit. You don't need a Mercedes. You just need a place that's safe, feels like home, and has what you need: no more, no less. Good job.

Really trying on this - hard because I'm a tech head But, yes, life is much easier for us when we strip back and focus on the essentials. Now if we could apply that to our diet we'd be set!

 

[LevelSea]

My MIL lives nearly 7k miles away. :wmk:

 

[Pheran]

She DID call DCFS on me claiming I did molest the youngest daughter and another Foster girl (this was before we fought for custody). DCFS and a Police detective came out and talked with me. It was found to be false and the detective recommended i keep all records and file suit. She did it 3 more times over the next few years.

She would call Whenever she would call and ask us for money (well a large sum) and us refuse. It got to the point DCFS would come out and talk to me and leave. no detectives and they stopped talking to the girls.

I think when all said and done she did it 4-5 times and threatened like 10 times.

Holy hell. She should be thrown in jail for filing false reports. It pisses me off when people can pull stuff like this with no consequences.

 

[Eug]

My MIL is fine. My FIL is nice to me and does chores around the house but he complains about a lot of stuff like politicians that I'd just rather not listen to. That constant complaining gets really tiresome, even if it's not about anything to do with our family.

However, I often have to bite my tongue and not butt into their affairs. The problem is they have little savings and almost no income (except a very small pension), but spend money on luxury items they don't need. It just drives me nuts. I guess the problem is they had much more income before so they're used to those spending habits, but didn't prepare for retirement well enough.

To put it in perspective in the context of that other post: I respect people who live within their means, but they have a Mercedes when they really should have a Nissan Versa.

 

[lord_emperor]

Mine invites us out to dinner all the time and orders wayyy too much delicious food and makes me eat it.

 

[Ban Bot]

My MIL is one of the kindest people I have ever met. Ditto FIL. Great people, no complaints whatsoever. Been married 12 years--they know their boundaries but are always willing to listen and help when asked.

 

[Newell Steamer]

She leaves the house for a walk and comes back with a crappy $10 toaster, just to get her way.

You pack that toaster with her things when she leaves.

Everything else, ignore her. She is a lousy & miserable human being.

 

[Tweak155]

I have a set of in-laws that never let go, I.E their daughters are still 12 and that never changes.

If there was an entry for pictures in regards to helicopter parents, they'd be there. Although I think they've backed off a lot and maybe got a clue, they still jump at opportunities to toss their opinion in.

But one good example I have is that we had either bought a house or the offer was accepted or something of that nature. Basically we were set to move into a house at some point, but going through the process.

Just from the pictures of the house, the MIL took it upon herself to not only locate the listing, but take her family (her, husband and their daughter that was still living at home) to the house without letting us know. I can't remember how it was brought up but you could tell she was intentionally hiding it from us until that point in time.

Had she asked for the address, we would have given it to her. It's just the way she went about it and for what purpose? It was very odd.

Also while we were still dating and my wife was living at home for a period, her mom would steal stuff my wife brought home, deny it, and throw it away. Figured that out because the mom slipped up and changed a story. Called her out, the MIL basically said it was her house so she could throw away anything she wanted.

We've all but disowned them at this point, just keeping it cordial and seeing them occasionally. The biggest problem is that early into the marriage, my wife would update her mom on everything. Problems went way down after I told her it was causing most of her problems with her and her parents. The parents just never let go.

 

[child of wonder]

I've written my mother in law off completely. I will not speak to her and I avoid even looking at her. Using the fact that someone was molested by the mother-in-law's father as a bargaining chip in an argument effectively erases her from my reality forever.

 

[Platypus]

I'll buck the trend and say mine treats me more like family than my own family ever has, cooks amazing food especially for me, and is generally a very pleasant person to be around.

 

[slackerinabox]

I'll buck the trend and say mine treats me more like family than my own family ever has, cooks amazing food especially for me, and is generally a very pleasant person to be around.

Will take a moment to call my FIL out as a fantastic guy. Funny how I see so much of what I like about my wife in him, and so much of what I don't like about her mil in her sister.

 

[dank69]

My MIL bought me a toaster, FML

 

[slackerinabox]

You pack that toaster with her things when she leaves.

Everything else, ignore her. She is a lousy & miserable human being.

Yeah, that's been my approach. The few times I bite back she either blows it out of proportion to make me seem like this hot head with anger management problems, or just cries... She does that about a lot of things, crying when she's called on something

 

[Eug]

My MIL bought me a toaster, FML

That gave me a chuckle.

 

[Newell Steamer]

,... crying when she's called on something

Ouch.

She really sounds like an emotionally unstable person. And, you are entitled to your own peace and quiet.

After a certain point, you will have to put your foot down and in effect, limit her. But, that is up to you and your wife to decide how to handle.

 

[waggy]

Holy hell. She should be thrown in jail for filing false reports. It pisses me off when people can pull stuff like this with no consequences.

jail or even a civil suit wouldn't have done shit. What hapened to her is just is good though.

She moved to Kentucky. baught a shitty trailer in the middle of the country. has 50 dogs, no money and her 4 daughters won't talk to her. Only time she calls anyone is to ask for money. when they say no she calls one of the other's to bitch.

Its sad. My kids have tried to have relationship with her. but she doesn't call on the kids birthday or send them cards.

My parents live in southern IL about 50 miles from the kentucky boarder. they still find the time to call every monthy, drive up here to see them (a 6 hour dirve) a couple times a summer. The other grandparents live in iowa. Same situation. they take my daughter hunting, fishing etc.

so they aren't missing out on grandparents!

 

[JEDIYoda]

my mother in law is totally cool...24/7...of course she is 6 ft under@!!