• We’re currently investigating an issue related to the forum theme and styling that is impacting page layout and visual formatting. The problem has been identified, and we are actively working on a resolution. There is no impact to user data or functionality, this is strictly a front-end display issue. We’ll post an update once the fix has been deployed. Thanks for your patience while we get this sorted.

Share a story from your childhood

I was taking a bath upstairs when I was around 5 or 6. My mom was downstairs and heard me yell "MOM! HELP!" She ran upstairs, and as soon as she got into the bathroom I told her, "My penis is broken!" True story.

LOLLERschlong
 
TallBill

TallBill

Lifer
I used to fall asleep at the dinner table, in my food. My mom had to make sure that I didn't drown if she served me spaghetti o's.
 
When I was a baby/toddler, my Mom put me in one of those baby walker things. I took it for a ride down a flight of stairs. It scared my parents to death, but the doctor assured them I was ok.

When I was in my early 30's, I had to have an xray taken of my head for TMJ. It was then that I learned that I had a fissure in my skull from where it had been fractured, and that my nose had been broken and not reset.
 
I tried to stuff birthday cake in an electrical socket on my 2nd birthday. My folks have a photo of it somewhere.

I had one of those pedal cars (looks like a go-cart) when I was 2 or 3. I rode it so much that I wore out the plastic wheels and had to get them replaced. Man I loved that thing.
 
Can't remember if it was me or my brother, but my parents told us a story about how one of us used to stash cookies in the VCR to save them for later.
 
I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night half an hour before I went to bed, drink a cup of sulphuric acid, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad and our mother would kill us and dance about on our graves singing Hallelujah.
 
When I was in kindergarten, I got sent to my room for something or other. Well, that made me mad so I took a crayon and wrote "FUCK YOU MOM" in 2 foot letters on my wall. 😱
 
Originally posted by: nakedfrog
I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night half an hour before I went to bed, drink a cup of sulphuric acid, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad and our mother would kill us and dance about on our graves singing Hallelujah.
Click to expand...

Workin' in a coal mine, goin' down, down, down
 
Originally posted by: MrPickins
When I was in kindergarten, I got sent to my room for something or other. Well, that made me mad so I took a crayon and wrote "FUCK YOU MOM" in 2 foot letters on my wall. 😱
Click to expand...

That's hardcore, haha.

My brother and I had a crayon fight and there were 64 colors speckled all over our walls.
 
Originally posted by: vshah
my dad was changing my diaper once, and i peed on him
Click to expand...

Originally posted by: nakedfrog
I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night half an hour before I went to bed, drink a cup of sulphuric acid, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad and our mother would kill us and dance about on our graves singing Hallelujah.
Click to expand...


both of these are common occurences, not really worth mentioning

 
Originally posted by: NuclearNed
When I was a baby/toddler, my Mom put me in one of those baby walker things. I took it for a ride down a flight of stairs. It scared my parents to death, but the doctor assured them I was ok.

When I was in my early 30's, I had to have an xray taken of my head for TMJ. It was then that I learned that I had a fissure in my skull from where it had been fractured, and that my nose had been broken and not reset.
Click to expand...

THAT certainly explains a lot...doesn't it? 😀
It enhanced your story-telling ability. 😛


When I was about 8, (early 1960's) my dad was NCOIC over a sheet-metal shop in the USAF. On Saturdays, I used to go hang out with him in the hanger while my mom worked.

One day, I got bored and started wandering around. Somehow, in my "walking behind these crates, through this door, around this fence," I ended up on the flight line next to where the "Chrome-Dome" B-52's were parked. This was about the time of the Cuban missle crisis, and all of those B-52's were carrying nukes... (I had no idea at the time)

As I wandered around checking out all kinds of cool stuff, I came around a corner to come face-to-face with a VERY pissed off Air Patrol security guard and his German Shepard...:Q

Needless to say, once they found out who I was...and who my dad was...the shit hit the fan.

We spent all afternoon in the Base Commander's office...a Brigadier General, who must have been a USMC Drill Instructor in a former life, because he knew how to yell and cuss in ways that ONLY a Marine drill Sargent can...not only at my dad...but at my dad's boss and the base AP security boss. (some mid-grade officer)

Fortunately, my dad didn't lose any rank over it, (although he got yelled at and bitched at by every superior he had in the Air Wing...(SAC wing)
When we were done at the Base Commander's office, the General pulled me aside and thanked me for finding some blatantly obvious holes in his base security. I guess he figured that if a kid could do it...a commie could too.
Of course, the base Air Patrol wasn't too fucking happy with the repercussions that came down after this...and as a result, my dad was constantly getting pulled over by the AP traffic cops for every little detail they could find...or hope to find. :roll:

For me, the really bad part was that I was banned from hanging out on base for a while.
 
In third grade,I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade,I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play.In fifth grade,I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog...When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out..But the worst thing I ever done - I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-then, I made a noise like this: huaa-huaaa and then I dumped it over the side,all over the people in the audience. And then,this was horrible,all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other.I never felt so bad in my entire life
 
Originally posted by: randay
In third grade,I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade,I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play.In fifth grade,I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog...When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out..But the worst thing I ever done - I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-then, I made a noise like this: huaa-huaaa and then I dumped it over the side,all over the people in the audience. And then,this was horrible,all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other.I never felt so bad in my entire life
Click to expand...

Do the truffle shuffle.
 
Originally posted by: shocksyde
Originally posted by: nakedfrog
I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night half an hour before I went to bed, drink a cup of sulphuric acid, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad and our mother would kill us and dance about on our graves singing Hallelujah.
Click to expand...

Workin' in a coal mine, goin' down, down, down
Click to expand...

There was also the time I was mad that my sister had already taken the prize out of the cereal box, so I took my dad's keys and put them in the cereal box so I could have a prize the next morning.
I think that story is funnier to him now than it was when it happened.
 
The Village I was living in when I was 7-9(don't recall exact age) had this wooden bridge crossing the river. There were gaps between boards making up the road surface. One day I was riding my bike home when suddenly I went flying through the air. Got up, pulled the bike out from a gap, saw a dent on the foont fender, continued to ride home.
 
Originally posted by: nakedfrog
Originally posted by: shocksyde
Originally posted by: nakedfrog
I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night half an hour before I went to bed, drink a cup of sulphuric acid, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad and our mother would kill us and dance about on our graves singing Hallelujah.
Click to expand...

Workin' in a coal mine, goin' down, down, down
Click to expand...

There was also the time I was mad that my sister had already taken the prize out of the cereal box, so I took my dad's keys and put them in the cereal box so I could have a prize the next morning.
I think that story is funnier to him now than it was when it happened.
Click to expand...

:laugh:

I imagine that's true.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

TRENDING THREADS

Back
Top