Sex Education - A story

Grasshopper27

Banned
Sep 11, 2002
7,013
1
0
Little Jessica was 7 years old and like other girls her age rather curious. She had been hearing quite a bit about 'courting' from the older girls, and she wondered what it was and how it was done. One day she took her question to her mother, who became rather flustered. Instead of explaining this to Jessica, she told her to hide behind the curtains one night and watch her older sister and her boyfriend. This she did.

The following morning, Jessica described EVERYTHING to her mother.


"Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for a while, then he started hugging and kissing her I figured 'Sis must be getting sick because her face started looking funny. He must have thought so too because he put his hand inside her blouse to feel her heart, just the way the doctor would. Except he's not as smart as the doctor because he seemed to have trouble finding her heart. I guess he was getting sick too, because pretty soon both of them started panting and getting all out of breath. His other hand must have been cold because he put it under her skirt. About this time 'Sis got worse and began to moan and sigh and squirm around and slide down toward the end of the couch. this is when her fever started.


I knew it was a fever, because 'Sis told him she felt really hot. Finally, I found out what was making them so sick -- a big eel had gotten inside his pants somehow. It just jumped out of his pants and stood there, about 10 inches long, honest, anyway, he grabbed it in one hand to keep it from getting away. When Sis saw it she got really scared -- her eyes got big, and her mouth fell open, and she started calling out to God and stuff like that. She said it was the biggest one she'd ever seen; I should tell her about the ones down by the lake by our house! Anyway, Sis was brave and tried to kill the eel by biting its head off. All of a sudden she grabbed it with both hands and held it tight while he took a muzzle out of his pocket and slipped it over the eel's head to keep it from biting again.


Sis lay back and spread her legs so she could get a scissor-lock on it and he helped by lying on top of the eel. The eel put up a hell of a fight. Sis started groaning and squealing and her boyfriend almost upset the couch. I guess they wanted to kill the eel by squashing it between them. Her boyfriend got up, and sure enough, they killed the eel. I knew because it just hung there, limp, and some of its insides were hanging out.


Sis and her boyfriend were a little tired from the battle, but they went back to courting anyway. He started hugging and kissing her again. By golly, the eel wasn't dead! It jumped straight up and started to fight again. I guess eels are like cats -- they have nine lives or something. This time, Sis jumped up and tried to kill it by sitting on it. After about a 35 minute struggle, they finally killed the eel. I knew it was dead, because I saw Sis's boyfriend peel its skin off and flush it down the toilet.
 

Skyclad1uhm1

Lifer
Aug 10, 2001
11,383
87
91
Just post the website and we'll look at it ourselves.

Of course that would mean a lot less posts on your account :p
 

Eli

Super Moderator | Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
50,422
8
81
:Q

LMFAO!!!!!!

Regarding your sig, grasshopper, I think that's because some 70% of the women here are overweight...
 

notfred

Lifer
Feb 12, 2001
38,241
4
0
Wow, that was dumb. Not funny at all. Eel? The guy in the story is a little BOY. He knows what a penis is.
rolleye.gif
 

notfred

Lifer
Feb 12, 2001
38,241
4
0
Originally posted by: grasshopper26
Originally posted by: notfred
Wow, that was dumb. Not funny at all. Eel? The guy in the story is a little BOY. He knows what a penis is.
rolleye.gif

Fixed... the little boy is now a little girl. :D

Definitely improves the story...
 

Lithium381

Lifer
May 12, 2001
12,458
2
0
Originally posted by: notfred
Originally posted by: grasshopper26
Originally posted by: notfred
Wow, that was dumb. Not funny at all. Eel? The guy in the story is a little BOY. He knows what a penis is.
rolleye.gif

Fixed... the little boy is now a little girl. :D

Definitely improves the story...

Eels are loving pets....they need lots of care and carassing..:Q

nice :D
 

Grasshopper27

Banned
Sep 11, 2002
7,013
1
0
Originally posted by: FrustratedUser
Hey grasshopper, what is your postcount / day. Must be way up there.

You joined AnandTech on 09/11/2002, you average 26.94 posts per day with a total of 2909 messages posted to the forums.
 
Aug 16, 2001
22,529
4
81
Originally posted by: grasshopper26
Originally posted by: FrustratedUser
Hey grasshopper, what is your postcount / day. Must be way up there.

You joined AnandTech on 09/11/2002, you average 26.94 posts per day with a total of 2909 messages posted to the forums.



:Q