Sex addiction now a mental illness

[William Gaatjes]

It is always your own choice. With everything you do.
The issue is that at the moment that you consciously make the choice and are aware of it...
You already made that choice in your subconscious( unconscious) several milliseconds earlier.
If you want to get off of your addiction, you have to become aware of that simple fact.
Once you are aware and trained yourself to recognize it, you can control it and you are no longer an addict.

If you decide to give in to your addiction and are aware of this, you already made the choice to do so.
There is no way you can win from yourself if you yourself want it.

It is as if you are standing in the ring with another boxer and you have already decided that you cannot win from him.
Then you will not win, because you are not only fighting the boxer, but at the same time you are also fighting a losing battle with youself.
The first step is to accept that you are fighting with yourself and learning how not to fight yourself but to maintain control in order to make the proper choice.

 

[destrekor]

It is always your own choice. With everything you do.
The issue is that at the moment that you consciously make the choice and are aware of it...
You already made that choice in your subconscious( unconscious) several milliseconds earlier.
If you want to get off of your addiction, you have to become aware of that simple fact.
Once you are aware and trained yourself to recognize it, you can control it and you are no longer an addict.

If you decide to give in to your addiction and are aware of this, you already made the choice to do so.
There is no way you can win from yourself if you yourself want it.

It is as if you are standing in the ring with another boxer and you have already decided that you cannot win from him.
Then you will not win, because you are not only fighting the boxer, but at the same time you are also fighting a losing battle with youself.
The first step is to accept that you are fighting with yourself and learning how not to fight yourself but to maintain control in order to make the proper choice.

Yes indeed that is the first step to successfully battling the addiction on your own.

Not everyone has that capability to do so on their own. Everyone has the *capacity* to do so, an innate trick of the mind, but not everyone can tap into it as readily as the next person. It's the same principal behind why religion is such an effective "cure" for many people but not for everyone. It has nothing to do with being "weak minded" or "strong minded." We're all wired a bit differently, and there is of course a natural variance in what is even considered "healthy" or "normal," but that doesn't mean there aren't people who would fall on the downslopes of a bell curve that demonstrates such.

 

[BarkingGhostar]

Addicts should all just become Catholic Priests.

 

[zinfamous]

Everything is a disease today. Second most misused word in the english language just behind professional.

Lets just call these things what they are, a lack of discipline due to weak mindedness.

eh, it's not the 1950s anymore. I guess it's cool to think this way if you sincerely believe that progress and discoveries in medical research and knowledge just up and stopped about 50 years ago.

 

[Paratus]

so now rapists can get off with an insanity plea?

I don’t know. Getting off on an insanity plea seems like a very specific kink. Probably not very many find insanity pleas sexy.

 

[nakedfrog]

Negative.

That attitude is what has caused a significant lack of care for those who should be getting some, or otherwise need it. It creates a stigma against mental health care. Stop it.

Right up there with "just stop being so sad" as a response to clinical depression.

 

[William Gaatjes]

Yes indeed that is the first step to successfully battling the addiction on your own.

Not everyone has that capability to do so on their own. Everyone has the *capacity* to do so, an innate trick of the mind, but not everyone can tap into it as readily as the next person. It's the same principal behind why religion is such an effective "cure" for many people but not for everyone. It has nothing to do with being "weak minded" or "strong minded." We're all wired a bit differently, and there is of course a natural variance in what is even considered "healthy" or "normal," but that doesn't mean there aren't people who would fall on the downslopes of a bell curve that demonstrates such.

Oh , you are absolutely right. There is however one thing. When you say about yourself that you have no control over yourself you are doomed to lose.
However, when you you try to regain control over yourself but sometimes you make a misstep, get up on your feet, analyze yourself what went wrong.
Learn to know yourself. Adapt and conquer.
No matter what the situation is, the primary thought must become : It is my own choice.
And when you really have that thought, you will get help from the inside of your own brain and body( and if you like divine help passed through nature's laws). Your own unconscious and your body through psychosomatic action will help you (internal conflict, usually with physical discomfort). But only if you do not want it. And when that happens, love thyself. For thou own body loves thee...
Something like that...

But it is indeed not that easy.
I have written it before about what i have heard from people, i think the biggest issues are that addicted people are at a point where they just want to be an addict or they do not want to be an addict but forget and do not know how to come back to be the person they once were because they are so confused. And the forgetting is the scarty part. Because how are you going to keep control or regain control when you forget and your mind goes blank everytime.
The brain is very plastic, Even recognizing forgetting can be learned and if you no longer know what to do, call someone who can help you remember.
I heard many stories...

 

[s0me0nesmind1]

Negative.

That attitude is what has caused a significant lack of care for those who should be getting some, or otherwise need it. It creates a stigma against mental health care. Stop it.

I would almost argue that it works both ways. There is some sane rationale in the "sex abuse" world in that biologically speaking humans were made to reproduce at much lower ages (12-16) instead of 18-24 that is common today. That is simply biological fact based on puberty. To argue otherwise is simply retarded.

It is SOCIETY that tells us to suppress those feelings - but to state those feelings don't exist is absolute denial. All it takes is a "hot babe" picture thread in ATOT where no one knows the person and everyone says "I'd bang!" and "OMG so hawt!" all to later realize they are below age. To put it simply - attraction is not an option or a choice - Period. The majority of people here had no problem banging their wife without asking them to sign a contract stating that they were at or above the age of 18.
.
I guess what I'm getting at is that it almost seems like people with the disability are the people that are irrationally stupid enough to state that you shouldn't be attractive to something that is 17 years 364 days, but at 18 years it's all of a sudden acceptable. Yes, there is a vast difference between what I am saying and pedos - but the point still remains.

 

[destrekor]

I would almost argue that it works both ways. There is some sane rationale in the "sex abuse" world in that biologically speaking humans were made to reproduce at much lower ages (12-16) instead of 18-24 that is common today. That is simply biological fact based on puberty. To argue otherwise is simply retarded.

It is SOCIETY that tells us to suppress those feelings - but to state those feelings don't exist is absolute denial. All it takes is a "hot babe" picture thread in ATOT where no one knows the person and everyone says "I'd bang!" and "OMG so hawt!" all to later realize they are below age. To put it simply - attraction is not an option or a choice - Period. The majority of people here had no problem banging their wife without asking them to sign a contract stating that they were at or above the age of 18.
.
I guess what I'm getting at is that it almost seems like people with the disability are the people that are irrationally stupid enough to state that you shouldn't be attractive to something that is 17 years 364 days, but at 18 years it's all of a sudden acceptable. Yes, there is a vast difference between what I am saying and pedos - but the point still remains.

Oh absolutely. I get what you are saying, and it always comes down to socially drawn boundaries as opposed to strictly biology. You could say that the ancient Greeks and Romans were hardcore pedos, but it wasn't like that.

But mankind has also advanced since the time that the species began to reach puberty at the age we do. We are no longer a purely hormonal and instinctive species - mental capacity is championed as is the ability to reason.

No matter what biology says, the course of humanity is dictated by societal rules, not genetic rules. Are there some mental health diseases that would have once made for a prime reproductive goal? Certainly. ADHD has been placed in that basket many times. But we don't live like primal animals anymore, we hold ourselves to a higher standard, and that means that the bar for what constitutes a mental or physical "defective" will change as society changes. As a social and advanced species, it's almost imperative that we do adjust course based on societal cues.

A major cue in today's age is balancing physiological/psychological instincts and what is expected of modern humanity. No easy feat for sure, and we haven't crossed the precipice yet that would see us physically change our instincts and hormones. There are bound to be a few "bad seeds" that are ultimately just those who got "left behind." They didn't practice the new societal rules, their brain couldn't convince itself to change, and maybe it sucks a bit that we just leave them behind but there isn't much we can do either. There is really only so much one can do to reform others, especially when it's a biological drive responsible. It's difficult to call out such individuals as the ones at fault, as in some light they may be no more at fault than mentally handicapped individuals are at fault for being what they are. That doesn't mean we should cease dealing with and correcting such behavior, but it spells little hope of ever truly reforming the guilty.

 

[BarkingGhostar]

Maybe sex addicts are just more primal than eveyone else and are trying to spread their genes faster and farther than the rest as a form of competition to win out over others' genes being spread.

 

[William Gaatjes]

Maybe sex addicts are just more primal than eveyone else and are trying to spread their genes faster and farther than the rest as a form of competition to win out over others' genes being spread.

I used to know some guys who were self proclaimed sex addicts, always having a new honey each week and all had one thing in common. They hated children and they did not want children.
Assuming they were sex addicts, that would leave a lot of fatherless children around, but it would spread the genes. Kind of a downfall, all good at lying and deceiving. Would be not good in general for the human race.

 

[Scarpozzi]

"One more..." is hardly addiction. A little weakness in self control is not addiction.

You trivialize actual mental disease by trying to sweep it all under the same rug.

Now, perhaps over-diagnosis of many diseases is a very real thing, especially for ADHD (I will forever despise and loathe the medical communities for grouping ADD into ADHD. Oh, Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder - Primarily Inattentive, that's the new ADD. ADHD-PI, with no hyperactivity, is still in the ADHD family. Beyond stupid).
But bad doctors notwithstanding, it isn't always about getting people on additional drugs. Some actively pursue every possible classification OTHER than ADD/ADHD, and if determined to be potentially treated by some prescription, they first try the non-stimulant class of drugs, if they even prescribe something actually marketed for ADHD. They may try antidepressants/antipsychotics first, or kind of multi-functional drugs like bupropion/Wellbutrin.
I have sworn I have had ADD for awhile, it just escaped detection as a kid because I was generally well behaved and did well in school (without any effort, mind you). I have found some ways to try and cope/self-manage, but ultimately I tried to get diagnosed. All the counselors were like "oh yup, definitely" - the doctors in charge of actually prescribing? Nope. Definitely not. That's just combo Anxiety/Depression. Oh. That... maybe I guess? Zoloft/Wellbutrin combo in the end - it mostly does the trick, I feel good (better) most of the time, but I feel like it doesn't do that much for the symptoms I've been trying to control most of my life. I and different counselors have been firmly convinced the anxiety/depression are symptoms of the ADD, not the other way around. But whatever, I probably just need a different doctor but I have no interest in messing around with other doctors and other prescriptions right now. Maybe down the road with better insurance.




I know you probably are joking, but let's not trivialize this. Yes some impulse control during/after puberty is well within the normal range of behavior, but addiction goes far beyond that. If the vast majority of men were throwing much of their life down the drain due to puberty, this would be a different story. But that's not the case.

Yeah...I sweep it all under the same rug for a generalization reply to a specific argument about sex addiction being a mental illness. You can't get too specific because that's going to vary based on the individual with the issue and whether or not they acted on their illness against someone else's wishes and tried to use their "condition" as a defense for their actions. Once again, the corporate angle is not to look out for the individual as much as to turn a profit at everyone's expense. I just picture the execs at PFIZER are trying to sell an anti-boner pill they're going to call DIE-AGRA and they need an approved condition before insurance will reimburse for it.

 

[BarkingGhostar]

I used to know some guys who were self proclaimed sex addicts, always having a new honey each week and all had one thing in common. They hated children and they did not want children.
Assuming they were sex addicts, that would leave a lot of fatherless children around, but it would spread the genes. Kind of a downfall, all good at lying and deceiving. Would be not good in general for the human race.

I do not have children and do not want them. It wasn't so much as a case that I wanted to have all of the toys myself, but rather it was a choice of toys or children. And looking at my family tree I felt I was doing society justice by not contributing to that blight my family had been bringing on for generations. So, while I an with a high sex drive I am also happily monogamous in reality and only a addict in the hands off the merchandise sense. Damn, how many cultural and social norms did I just break in saying this.