Seriously screwed up with GF... need advice

[LanFear]

Originally posted by: HeroOfPellinor

Originally posted by: isekii
All guys do it. They know it. Why be offended by it ?

I don't do it and I bet most guys don't do it. Do you realize how perverted that is?

"That guys definately a virgin" - Captain Insano

 

[Davegod]

Originally posted by: HeroOfPellinor

Originally posted by: isekii
All guys do it. They know it. Why be offended by it ?

I don't do it and I bet most guys don't do it. Do you realize how perverted that is?

you realise that comment WONT get saved in the cache?

 

[LanFear]

Originally posted by: flxnimprtmscl
Ok, here's the update. We've talked it over and things are on their way back to being normal. The end result is I'm not going to look at porn anymore.

As far as all the details I left out of my original post that have been brought up:

1) Our sex life is great.
2) It was just normal straight porn
3) A large part of the problem was that she'd told me before that it was something that was against her morals and I said that I wouldn't do it while we were together.
4) As to why she was looking at my temp files: She almost caught me the other night and after I saw how much the suspiscion of it upset her I deleted all the porn I had stored on my computer. When I went to show her that I'd deleted it I realized I'd forgotten, like an idiot, to clear out the cache and all those pictures turned up in the search. She looked at the dates and realized that some of it was stuff I'd looked at while we were together. That was the big problem. So she wasn't snooping for it that much. I basically showed it to her.

Anyway, that's the update. Hopefully that's the last one of these I'll ever have to post.

Dude you need to get rid of her, your sex life is great, yet looking at the act of sex in pictures is against her morals. So you can't look at it, but you can bend her over the couch and nail her like no tomorrow, that makes sense. If by your sex life being great you mean only missionary and no blow jobs, run now!

 

[Gooberlx2]

Unfortunately he's in kind of a bind now. Since he already agreed with her and said he didn't (or promised to not...I don't care to look back for it) watch porn, and broke his "pact" with her, he's become the asshole (as far as she....and all her friends are concerned). But if PORN escalates to such a problem that they break up (or if he dumps her over it), he's again the asshole......especially as far as her friends are concerned....and everyone they talk to about him, etc.

Gotta think about the repercussions....Dude, you're fvcked.

[edit] Holy crap! That was my 2000th post! Yeah...Platinum is cooool.

 

[Davegod]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Lol, the piece of all this that amuses me is that all of you screaming "dump her" "she's too insecure" yada yada are failing to understand a couple of things.

1. this person knew herself well enough to tell the OP at the start that such activity would be a deal breaker for her and he agreed that he could live with that.He engaged in that activity without any sort of discussion revisiting the issue and she dumped him!

I dunno about you folks but if a partner tells me that certain behaviors are relationship enders,I'm sure as heck not just going to go off and engage in those behaviors after agreeing that I wouldn't, not without at least asking for a convo to revisit whatever issue is in question.

forbidding porn is like asking "does my bum look big in this", "will you love me forever and ever and ever?" or "my driving is ok, isnt it?". its like a theoretical thing for reassurance and nothing more, because neither truth nor hesitation is what is wanted.

roughly the same happens in reverse, like promising not to spend any more money on the credit card, pretending they dont fart, blah blah blah

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: Davegod

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Lol, the piece of all this that amuses me is that all of you screaming "dump her" "she's too insecure" yada yada are failing to understand a couple of things.

1. this person knew herself well enough to tell the OP at the start that such activity would be a deal breaker for her and he agreed that he could live with that.He engaged in that activity without any sort of discussion revisiting the issue and she dumped him!

I dunno about you folks but if a partner tells me that certain behaviors are relationship enders,I'm sure as heck not just going to go off and engage in those behaviors after agreeing that I wouldn't, not without at least asking for a convo to revisit whatever issue is in question.

forbidding porn is like asking "does my bum look big in this", "will you love me forever and ever and ever?" or "my driving is ok, isnt it?". its like a theoretical thing for reassurance and nothing more, because neither truth nor hesitation is what is wanted.

A valid point of view held by many.. and a pov that should have been expressed back when the issue first came up at the beginning of the relationship when she expressed that this issue was a deal breaker for her.Alternatively,he could have reopened the issue for exploration again with her later.

I try to take people at their word and to honor my own agreements,if a guy tells me for instance that he won't tolerate me hanging out in clubs...ever,that it's a deal breaker it's up to me at that point to present my own POV and either come to a compromise agreement with him or part ways.If down the line a situation comes up that requires me to go to a bar,well then it's up to me to reopen the discussion,not just go off and do whatever the hell I want then get and distainful of him because he's seriously now pissed off.To do otherwise would seem disrespectful,almost like you're telling somebody that you'll do whatever you please and to hell with what they consider important.

 

[caitlion]

Originally posted by: Jero

Originally posted by: candicec
Clearly the answer is: ditch her. Tell her she needs to grow up. I have to beg my boyfriend for porn. Find someone who is not so uptight and who likes it like you. Seriously, some girls need to lighten the fvck up!

How exactly does a lady beg for this type of material from their SO?

(I've never heard of such a thing, that's why I'm asking)

i do the same thing... he doesnt want to go alone cause then he looks pathetic apparently, so we finally get to go get some when im 18

 

[StormRider]

Why not just kiss her on the buttocks?

 

[mobobuff]

Originally posted by: dderidex
WAIT!! WHOAH, hold the horses, here....

Originally posted by: mobobuff
Fine. I fail to believe porn existed when the bible was written.

My point being, bringing the bible into any modern topical debate which would otherwise uninclude it is pointless.

Uhhhh.....WHAT?! First off, porn is more than just pictures (which obviously didn't exist), it's literature, too - which DID.

Uhhh...there is PLENTY of evidence of quite 'pornographic' literature from dating WAY before the bible was written. Hell, the sex industry was alive and well during the biblical times, with *most* civilizations having almost all aspects of it legal. (Exactly what occupation did you THINK a 'harlot' had?)

Oh seriously... could you split any more meaningless hairs?

Do you think she found text files of written porn in his temp directory?

I FAIL TO BELIEVE THAT PICTORIAL PORNOGRAPHY EXISTED WHEN THE BIBLE WAS WRITTEN. And you can't honestly tell me that reading a risque piece of writing is directly "lusting after another woman".

A harlot? Oh I'm sorry, but I don't see anywhere where I said prostitution didn't exist.

 

[Klixxer]

Originally posted by: mobobuff

Originally posted by: dderidex
WAIT!! WHOAH, hold the horses, here....

Originally posted by: mobobuff
Fine. I fail to believe porn existed when the bible was written.

My point being, bringing the bible into any modern topical debate which would otherwise uninclude it is pointless.

Uhhhh.....WHAT?! First off, porn is more than just pictures (which obviously didn't exist), it's literature, too - which DID.

Uhhh...there is PLENTY of evidence of quite 'pornographic' literature from dating WAY before the bible was written. Hell, the sex industry was alive and well during the biblical times, with *most* civilizations having almost all aspects of it legal. (Exactly what occupation did you THINK a 'harlot' had?)

Oh seriously... could you split any more meaningless hairs?

Do you think she found text files of written porn in his temp directory?

I FAIL TO BELIEVE THAT PICTORIAL PORNOGRAPHY EXISTED WHEN THE BIBLE WAS WRITTEN. And you can't honestly tell me that reading a risque piece of writing is directly "lusting after another woman".

A harlot? Oh I'm sorry, but I don't see anywhere where I said prostitution didn't exist.

Define porn to yourself and you will notice one thing, you are wrong in this case.

A well detailed drawing is not pictorial pornoghraphy?

Nah, of course it is not, that is just art, or at least that is what your mom tells you.

 

[mobobuff]

Originally posted by: Klixxer

Originally posted by: mobobuff

Originally posted by: dderidex
WAIT!! WHOAH, hold the horses, here....

Originally posted by: mobobuff
Fine. I fail to believe porn existed when the bible was written.

My point being, bringing the bible into any modern topical debate which would otherwise uninclude it is pointless.

Uhhhh.....WHAT?! First off, porn is more than just pictures (which obviously didn't exist), it's literature, too - which DID.

Uhhh...there is PLENTY of evidence of quite 'pornographic' literature from dating WAY before the bible was written. Hell, the sex industry was alive and well during the biblical times, with *most* civilizations having almost all aspects of it legal. (Exactly what occupation did you THINK a 'harlot' had?)

Oh seriously... could you split any more meaningless hairs?

Do you think she found text files of written porn in his temp directory?

I FAIL TO BELIEVE THAT PICTORIAL PORNOGRAPHY EXISTED WHEN THE BIBLE WAS WRITTEN. And you can't honestly tell me that reading a risque piece of writing is directly "lusting after another woman".

A harlot? Oh I'm sorry, but I don't see anywhere where I said prostitution didn't exist.

Define porn to yourself and you will notice one thing, you are wrong in this case.

A well detailed drawing is not pictorial pornoghraphy?

Nah, of course it is not, that is just art, or at least that is what your mom tells you.

When do you think the Bible was written, Mr. Klixxer?

 

[AyashiKaibutsu]

Hey whatever a man and a woman and another woman do with a midget and a donkey is their business. Let the pr0n flow. (this was a joke stolen even)

 

[candicec]

Originally posted by: caitlion

Originally posted by: Jero

Originally posted by: candicec
Clearly the answer is: ditch her. Tell her she needs to grow up. I have to beg my boyfriend for porn. Find someone who is not so uptight and who likes it like you. Seriously, some girls need to lighten the fvck up!

How exactly does a lady beg for this type of material from their SO?

(I've never heard of such a thing, that's why I'm asking)

i do the same thing... he doesnt want to go alone cause then he looks pathetic apparently, so we finally get to go get some when im 18

Umm...any true computer nerd knows you don't have to go down to the video store to get it...

 

[Richdog]

Originally posted by: pyonir
if she is that insecure about you looking at porn, then you'd be better off without her.

I agree, if merely having porn is "seriously screwing up" to your girlfriend why the frick are you with her? You're going to be condemned to a life or tedium if thats the shape of things.

 

[Jeff7]

Originally posted by: Gibson486
All guys have this little secret folder dug in their files somewhere. It usually has some ambiguos name and is buried beneath several other folders (probably 4 steps deep).

I used to have such a folder that was dug 4 deep and I called the folder a name my gf would never think to look in, Visual C++.

And, with NTFS and user accounts, it can be completely hidden from view, and all access denied - or encrypted.

hehe, reminds me of the time I found my BF's pron stash on his computer. I was editing a config file for an RPG and saw a folder labeled "Driver Cache." Hadn't ever seen a folder named that on a windows box and curiosity got the better of me. Not a big deal....told him I found it and how. I view it as him utilizing a creative resource for when we get together. ;-)

Hiding things from the computer elite can be nearly impossible. And programs like Sequoia View make hiding things nearly impossible. Encrypt it though, and they can't not never disprove nothing.

Oh, and BTW, "everybody else does it" isn't a justification.

Ironically, many people use that as justification for religion.

reminds me of that commercial (cartoon commercial) where the mom and kid are watching tv and on the tv is like gunshots and killing and stuff.. then the girl says oh you saved me, kiss me! and then the mom covers the kid's eyes

Well duh. Just looking out for the kid's interests.

 

[natto fire]

Originally posted by: Nik
If you can't think of how to remedy the situation on your own, you're already screwed.

 

[chickchick]

haven't read any of the other suggestions. But i would say.. just go to her with some flowers and say sorry. Ofcourse be honest with your apologies

 

[HeroOfPellinor]

Originally posted by: CVSiN

Originally posted by: HeroOfPellinor
WTF is the point of porn? To help you imagine yourself with all these women you don't know? There is NO WAY that doesnt inhumanize them and feed the more base aspects of our psyches. Traditionally, viewing somebody else naked has always been a means to assert superiority or control over that person. Ted Bundy even used his last interview to warn the world about pornography. There's a lot of warning flags around this activity or at least enough to warrant some contemplation before rushing into something which is referred to as highly addictive.

Oh, and BTW, "everybody else does it" isn't a justification.

Dude get a freaking life...
what are you a bible thumping asshat?
there is 0 wrong with the naked body it is perfectly normal...
btw the US is soo far behind on Sexual maturity its not even funny..
Europe and Asia have way differnet oppionions on porn.. its pretty much mainstream in most of the world but the US..
hell even South America has soap operas that are pretty much softcore porn on during dailight hours..
Europe is very libertaed when it comes to the Human body and sexuality..
get the fvck over it man..
geezus..

That's some serious anger aimed at someone posing an alternate view point. Easy to tell when a raw nerve has been struck.

 

[HeroOfPellinor]

Originally posted by: Bryophyte

Originally posted by: HeroOfPellinorTed Bundy even used his last interview to warn the world about pornography.

Hero, do you even differentiate between hard core fetish porn and nude photos in a magazine?

Is pornography not an addiction which leads to you wanting progressivly harder core porn?

What about artistic portrayals of the human body?

I see no problem with it.......just don't go telling me now that porn is "artistic portrayal".

 

[Hammer]

time to dye your hair blonde and withdraw $10,000 from you bank account.

 

[fredtam]

Originally posted by: mobobuff

Originally posted by: Klixxer

Originally posted by: mobobuff

Originally posted by: dderidex
WAIT!! WHOAH, hold the horses, here....

Originally posted by: mobobuff
Fine. I fail to believe porn existed when the bible was written.

My point being, bringing the bible into any modern topical debate which would otherwise uninclude it is pointless.

Uhhhh.....WHAT?! First off, porn is more than just pictures (which obviously didn't exist), it's literature, too - which DID.

Uhhh...there is PLENTY of evidence of quite 'pornographic' literature from dating WAY before the bible was written. Hell, the sex industry was alive and well during the biblical times, with *most* civilizations having almost all aspects of it legal. (Exactly what occupation did you THINK a 'harlot' had?)

Oh seriously... could you split any more meaningless hairs?

Do you think she found text files of written porn in his temp directory?

I FAIL TO BELIEVE THAT PICTORIAL PORNOGRAPHY EXISTED WHEN THE BIBLE WAS WRITTEN. And you can't honestly tell me that reading a risque piece of writing is directly "lusting after another woman".

A harlot? Oh I'm sorry, but I don't see anywhere where I said prostitution didn't exist.

Define porn to yourself and you will notice one thing, you are wrong in this case.

A well detailed drawing is not pictorial pornoghraphy?

Nah, of course it is not, that is just art, or at least that is what your mom tells you.

When do you think the Bible was written, Mr. Klixxer?

Which testament? If we are talking about the new testament it was written about the same time or after the pornography at the bottom of this link was being created.

If you mean the old testament you will find that it was after the ancient egyptions had porn.

 

[HeroOfPellinor]

Originally posted by: shuan24
What cult are you part of? PM me when the world is going to end and you kill yourself. I wanna watch.

Look at yourself....you're already into snuff.

 

[Bryophyte]

Originally posted by: HeroOfPellinor

Originally posted by: Bryophyte
Hero, do you even differentiate between hard core fetish porn and nude photos in a magazine?

Is pornography not an addiction which leads to you wanting progressivly harder core porn?

No, generally it is not. Why do you think that pornography is inherently "addictive"?

People tend to look at pictures and video that they find arousing. Occasionally might look at something for the 'trainwreck' or humorous aspects of it. Big deal. I suppose you find masturbation to be immoral, too.

People with serious self-control/addiction problems would probably find other outlets for their addictive needs. Someone I know well is like that. He had serious drug/alcohol addiction problems, and when he managed to kick those habits, over time, he's replaced them with compulsive spending, selling stuff on Ebay faster than he can send it, over-the-top religious viewpoints, and staying up half the night looking at arousing images (women wrestling/catfights, etc) on the internet. Is it Playboy's fault? Err, no, not any more than it would be the fault of Amazon.com, e-bay, the Baptist church, or ESPN for his other addictions. It's just like blaming McDonald's for your own obesity.

 

[HeroOfPellinor]

Originally posted by: Bryophyte

Originally posted by: HeroOfPellinor

Originally posted by: Bryophyte
Hero, do you even differentiate between hard core fetish porn and nude photos in a magazine?

Is pornography not an addiction which leads to you wanting progressivly harder core porn?

No, generally it is not. Why do you think that pornography is inherently "addictive"?

People tend to look at pictures and video that they find arousing. Occasionally might look at something for the 'trainwreck' or humorous aspects of it. Big deal. I suppose you find masturbation to be immoral, too.

Of course. And don't tell me everybody does that too because I never did and made it 24 year till I got married. But, to be honest, it was something that never even crossed my mind at any point until I saw it mentioned in movies. There are scriptures against it in the Old Testament. Although the New Testament doesn't specify it exactly it does include sexual immorality etc. For me, it's a personal thing...I prefer to keep all those thoughts and feelings bestown upon my relationship with my wife and, frankly, the idea sounds so freakin pathetic anyway.

People with serious self-control/addiction problems would probably find other outlets for their addictive needs.

Why's that? Cause they "know" better? :roll:

Someone I know well is like that. He had serious drug/alcohol addiction problems, and when he managed to kick those habits, over time, he's replaced them with compulsive spending, selling stuff on Ebay faster than he can send it, over-the-top religious viewpoints, and staying up half the night looking at arousing images (women wrestling/catfights, etc) on the internet. Is it Playboy's fault? Err, no, not any more than it would be the fault of Amazon.com, e-bay, the Baptist church, or ESPN for his other addictions. It's just like blaming McDonald's for your own obesity.

I've never blamed porn, have I? I'm blaming the people consuming it.

 

[cain]

Originally posted by: bR
I don't know any girls that know theres a temp folder in the first place.

hahahahahha, busted