Seinfeld Episodes/Quotes

[jagr10]

Remember that episode where George pretended to be handicapped so that he could get all these perks at his work? Everyone was so nice to him and then they found out he was lying. lol

 

[MegaloManiaK]

I remember that one, i particularly liked the part when the boss man caught him limping on the wrong hand and he used a mirror to convince him that it was an optical illusion.

 

[josphII]

how about when Elaine and her boyfriend think they are both in an interracial relationship - Elaine thinks her boyfriend is part african american and the guy thinks Elaine is hispanic. upon realizing they are 'just two white people' they decide to go hang out at the Gap!

 

[blackdogdeek]

how about when george accidenatally had his boss removed from the picture at the beach and had the tech guy put him back, only to have it be a drawn rendition of the boss.

"hey, i had to draw that guy from memory!"

 

[conjur]

"I like to stop at the duty free shop!"

 

[ThaGrandCow]

:music::music:da dadada da dum ... Believe it or not, George isn't at home - please leave a messaaaaaage at the beep. I must be out, or I'd pick up the phone. Wherrrrreeeee could I beeeee? Believe it or not, I'm not hooooooooooooooooooome.:music::music:

here (angelfire, until bandwidth runs out)
or here (geocities till it runs out)

EDIT: Third link was dead, took it out

 

[Hubris]

Best. Show. Evar.

Not a single episode that doesn't make me laugh out loud at least once.

/me waits not so patiently for the DVDs

 

[Ynog]

The Fire

Jerry: So you feel women and children first, in this day and age, is somewhat of an antiquated notion?
George: To some degree.
Jerry: So basically, it's every man, woman, child, and invalid for themselves...
George: In a manner of speaking.

 

[conjur]

"Give me that rye, you old hag!"

 

[MegaloManiaK]

I also really like the one where jerry is buying a new car and kramer takes it on a test drive and insists he find out how far the car will go once it gets on empty.

 

[Yossarian]

Originally posted by: Kntx
The one where Jerry likes that native american girl and he finnally gets her to go out with him and Kramer comes by hanging out the window of the cab.... "hey Jerry!!! Look what I got!!! Woo!!! Woo!!! Woo!!! Woo!!! Woo!!! Woo!!! Woo!!! Woo!!! Woo!!!"


Comedy at it's finest!

That one was so fvcking funny! Hehehe.

WINONA: Ooh, I love that place, but it's usually so crowded. Can we get a table?
JERRY: Ah, don't worry. I made reser... (catches himself)
WINONA: You made what?
JERRY: I uh, I uh, I arranged for the appropriate accommodation.

 

[conjur]

"They're real. And, they're spectacular!"

 

[morkinva]

Originally posted by: PipBoy
It's all good but for me the most hilarious one was where George, pretending to be a marine biologist, saved the whale by plucking Kramer's golf ball from its blow hole. I thought I was gonna have an aneurism I was laughing so hard.

"The sea was angry that day, my friends" (the same day.. lol)

 

[Yossarian]

like an old man trying to return soup at a deli

 

[Spac3d]

SOUP NAZI: Next!
ELAINE: Hello.
SOUP NAZI: You. You think you can get soup? Please. You're wasting everyone's time.
ELAINE: I don't want soup. I can make my own soup. " 5 cups chopped Porcine
mushrooms, half a cup of olive oil, 3 pounds celery."
SOUP NAZI: That is my recipe for wild mushroom.
ELAINE: Yeah, that's right. I got 'em all. Cold cucumber, corn and crab chowder, mulligatawny.
SOUP NAZI: Mulliga...tawny?
ELAINE: You're through Soup Nazi. Pack it up. No more soup for you. Next!

 

[Marauder-]

JERRY: Newman, Kramer, if you'll indulge me. According to your story Keith
passes you and starts walking up the ramp then you say you were struck on
the right temple. The spit then proceeds to ricochet off the temple
striking Newman between the third and forth rib. The spit then cam off
the rib turned and hit Newman in the right wrist causing him to drop his
baseball cap. The spit then splashed off the wrist, Pauses In mid air
mind you- makes a left turn and lands on Newman's left thigh. That is one
magic luggie.

 

[Sukhoi]

Gotta love the one when George moves in under his desk at work!

 

[dighn]

NO SOUP FOR YOU!

 

[thereds]

Are those the panties your mother laid out for you?

 

[blackdogdeek]

"the moops"

 

[jaydee]

"George is getting very upset!" --The Jimmy

 

[KeyserSoze]

Originally posted by: MegaloManiaK
I also really like the one where jerry is buying a new car and kramer takes it on a test drive and insists he find out how far the car will go once it gets on empty.

Salesman: "So, you looking to buy or own"
Kramer: (Almost cuts the salesman off) "No, borrow"


KLASSIK!



KeyserSoze

 

[Peter D]

Elaine: Jerry, we have to have sex to save the friendship!
Jerry: sex.. to save the friendship.. well, if we have we have to! *untucks shirt*

 

[heat23]

TBS is showin the "Puetro Rican Day" episode...
looks like somebody is gonna be fired

 

[jaydee]

It's been on a few times. The ban was lifted last summer I believe.