It is absolutely possible. In my workplace people solder Rams here and there on development board all the time. You have to be able to do it in small quantity before you can rent a robot to do a couple sample. Also, speed of RAM module depends on the quality of your PCB as well.
The problem is, it takes so much time, skill, and f**kups that it is not worthed, you usually ends up with tons of dead one and a few useful one. Don't do it just to save cost.
regarding to the SPD, most overclockable motherboard can let you override your own speed setting.