Russians given afternoon off to bump uglies, do the horizontal mambo, make the beast with two backs

[Queasy]

Viva La Socialism!

The governor of a Russian province gave workers an afternoon off and told them to go home and multiply in the most direct attempt yet by officials seeking to tackle the country's growing depopulation crisis.

Bureaucrats have been dreaming up ever more imaginative schemes to help reverse the trend ever since President Vladimir Putin identified Russia's demographic crisis ? caused in part by soaring levels of alcoholism ? as the country's biggest threat.

But few have been quite as blunt as Sergey Morozov, the governor of Ulyanovsk, a depressed region on the Volga.

In exchange for an afternoon of state-sponsored passion, his "Give birth to a patriot" campaign launched last week offers parents who give birth next year on June 12, Russia's Independence Day, a range of incentives from a fridge or washing machine to a four-wheel-drive vehicle, depending on how many children the couple already has.

The Kremlin is offering even more substantial inducements. In a state of the nation address in May that was redolent of the Soviet era, Mr Putin encouraged Russians to make more babies and promised to give £5,000 to every mother who gives birth to a second child.

It is unclear how many of Ulyankovsk's residents took up Mr Morozov's offer, but the governor is convinced that such strategies are essential if the decline is to be reversed. Russia's 142 million population is dwindling faster than any other on Earth with 793,000 more deaths than births in 2004, according to the Centre for Demography.

 

[DaShen]

Bring in the Chinese and Indian guys into the country. There seems to be a huge population of them.

 

[MX2]

This thread shall be filled with innuendo

 

[Hyperlite]

nice.

 

[j00fek]

:Q

 

[MercenaryForHire]

Russia = Large percentage of redheaded women
Redheads = Need no excuse to hump your brains out
Russian Men = Drink lots of vodka
Vodka = Causes limp-dick

Therefore, the reason for all those Russian Bride mail-order sites.

Oh yeah, and in Soviet Russia, government procreates with you, or something like that.

- M4H

 

[BrokenVisage]

A country NOT facing over-population fears? Ulyanovsk must be in Siberia heh.

 

[Queasy]

Originally posted by: BrokenVisage
A country NOT facing over-population fears? Ulyanovsk must be in Siberia heh.

Actually, countries like Russia, Japan, and some European countries are facing declining birthrates which is bringing about population worries. European countries in particular are seeing their greatest population growth coming from immigrants from third world countries instead of babies from their own people.

 

[oboeguy]

That's like when Australia's government said to "go home and do your patriotic duty" or something like that.

 

[Specop 007]

Well, I sent the article to my supervisor to see if we could implement that here.
The idea got shot down.

 

[0roo0roo]

lets screw em over and order some more mail order brides lol

 

[Specop 007]

Originally posted by: 0roo0roo
lets screw em over and order some more mail order brides lol

Lets just send'm about 10 million illegals.
That'd be a win-win situation as I see it.

 

[NuAlphaMan]

Nothing like a day off for bumpin' uglies!

 

[brandonbull]

Maybe the US should get into the illegal immigrant business. We could could become the new M.E. in illegal immigrants. The US could form the OIIEC( Organization of Illegal Immigrant Exporting Countries) and start firing them off to countries with population drains.

 

[Ulfhednar]

Britain has millions of immigrants I'm sure we'd love to get rid of. Russia are welcome to have them at no cost, so long as they're willing to cover postage and packing.

 

[MrBond]

I have never heard "upload a tricycle motor" as a euphamism for sex. I can't even begin to wrap my head around that one.

 

[sswingle]

Why is a population decline a bad thing?