Russia developing "Zombie gun"... no, not that - one that MAKES people zombies.

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SunnyD

Belgian Waffler
Jan 2, 2001
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Seriously? Who the fuck thought this would be a GOOD idea? Oh wait... Russia. :colbert:

Russian President Vladmir Putin confirmed that his country is working on the creation of an electromagnetic gun that attacks its target's central nervous system, putting them in what we hope is a temporary, zombie-like state. According to Russian defense minister Anatoly Serdyukov, "when it was used for dispersing a crowd and it was focused on a man, his body temperature went up immediately as if he was thrown into a frying pan."

"We know very little about this weapon, and even special forces guys can hardly cope with it," added Serdyukov. That doesn't sound very comforting.

While this technology is certainly disturbing, thankfully, it's unlikely to be the cause of the inevitable zombie apocalypse. Victims of the gun don't — as far as we know — develop a taste for human brains. And since the zombie effect isn't viral, those dissidents won't be able to go around turning other people into the restless undead. Phew.
 

Nebor

Lifer
Jun 24, 2003
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It's just a microwave weapon for crowd dispersal. We've had them for years. Sent them to Afghanistan and brought them back already.
 

Jaskalas

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Jun 23, 2004
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It's just a microwave weapon for crowd dispersal. We've had them for years. Sent them to Afghanistan and brought them back already.

Ours is designed to only touch a very VERY thin top layer of skin. It's supposed to be as harmless as possible.

Theirs is, by wording of the article, intended to microwave your brain. Not so harmless.
 

Oceanas

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Nov 23, 2006
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Every article I can find on this, so far, eventually tracks back to either this Herald Sun article, or this Daily Mail article (Published March 31).

In any case, both articles are talking out of their ass as far as I can tell. The quotes attributed to Putin are taken directly from a series of essays that were published in Feb and not about any specific type of weapon. Here is the transcript where Anatoly Serdyukov supposedly announced this, but both articles mashed up what he actually said with a line from the Putin essays.
 

Soccerman06

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Jul 29, 2004
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So when we make a microwave gun or use those directional sound guns we get told to stop by the UN that they are too cruel, but the Russians make an electromagnetic something and they get the green light? Sounds fair
 
Mar 11, 2004
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Every article I can find on this, so far, eventually tracks back to either this Herald Sun article, or this Daily Mail article (Published March 31).

In any case, both articles are talking out of their ass as far as I can tell. The quotes attributed to Putin are taken directly from a series of essays that were published in Feb and not about any specific type of weapon. Here is the transcript where Anatoly Serdyukov supposedly announced this, but both articles mashed up what he actually said with a line from the Putin essays.

Yeah, this sounds so full of shit, but because people are morons and think/want a zombie apocalypse to be possible that they'll buy any bullshit.

I was discussing zombie movies with someone and they told me they didn't like a certain zombie movie because it was so implausible. I just laughed. They're all implausible.

Reminds me of the trained assassin dolphin article from a few years back. The one where the Navy had them and they got loose during Katrina. Checking up on it and all of it points back to some jackass at one of the UK tabloids that has a history of adding made up details to stories to make them more interesting. Basically, he read some article about military training dolphins and then fabricated that they were turning them into assassins to kill terrorists, when they're basically used for sniffing out mines and shit like that underwater.
 
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