You say IOS XR is based on QNX. Correct, I couldn't recall the name, and was too lazy to google it. From the 
QNX wiki page:
	
	
		
		
			QNX is a commercial Unix-like real-time operating system, aimed primarily at the embedded systems market. The product was originally developed in the early 1980s
		
		
	 
So QNX is not Linux-based for sure. It might be Unix-like, but it isn't Unix in a stricter sense of the word. The whole focus of the OS is on real-time stuff. Like scheduling, concurrency, message-passing, etc. So its users can make effective distributed systems. Its roots are also older than Linux or most other modern Unix-flavors. I don't know enough about QNX to go into further detail.
I guess we can say we were both right.
I don't know about IOS XE. Sorry.
I did say that NX-OS is running on top of a Linux-variant. I agree with you. I only wanted to say that a lot of software that runs inside NX-OS is not standard linux-software. It has been specifically developed by cisco Development-engineers. Those parts are not open source. And they are not shared. You can assume that any critical network-related code in NX-OS has been written by cisco itself, and is not part of standard Linux. That includes stuff like the maintenance of the routing table (URIB), the routing protocols (BGP, IS-IS, OSPF, etc), interface drivers, etc.
IOS Classic has nothing to do with Unix. Absolutely nothing. There is not even a kernel inside classic, let alone it resembles Unix. There aren't even systemcalls. The process that you see with "show proc" are not even real processes. (They are more like threads). Scheduling between those threads is non-pre-emptive. It's all programmed in C, so "unix-style programmers" should pick up stuff quickly if they get to program inside IOS classic. But IOS is just not Unix.
(I've done some programming on two of those platforms, a long long time ago).
I'm sorry to hear about your mother.