roommate situation -- advice?

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xanis

xanis

Lifer
Sep 11, 2005
17,571
8
0
I've been living with my current roommate for about a year and a half. Overall, she's a great roommate, but we've been butting heads lately over something that I'm not entirely sure how to solve.

My roommate is an EXTREMELY social person. She's the type that either has to be hanging out with someone or be talking with someone on the phone at all times. It's not annoying until she gets into her "let's have people over and/or have a party!" mood. On the weekends, I like to go out. I spend enough time in my apartment during the week so I'm ready to hit the bars/clubs/whatever once Friday rolls around. She feels the opposite, and likes to host things. This turns into a problem when I'm in no mood to stay in or I want to go to sleep. This also turns into a problem when the downstairs neighbors come and complain about the noise, as they've done a few times already.

I've tried to tell her a few times that we get a little loud and we might want to consider toning down the parties or maybe going other places with our friends. She basically told me "no", that she didn't think we were being that loud, and that she was going to have people over anyway. Being that we pay equal shares of rent, I can't exactly say, "no, you can't have your friends over". However, I'm starting to get tired of the people coming over and I'm feeling bad for my neighbors.

What should I do? I've talked to her before, but maybe I need to say something different? I'm open to suggestions.

Also, moving out is not an option. I only have 6 months left on the lease and I really can't afford to lose my security deposit over breaking the lease.


CLIFFS:
- roommate is extremely social, likes to throw parties/get-togethers
- parties get loud, neighbors have complained
- roommate basically said "screw them" when I suggested toning it down
- stuck because I can't really tell her to do stuff since she pays half the rent
 
F

fstime

Diamond Member
Jan 18, 2004
4,382
5
81
xanis said:
I've been living with my current roommate for about a year and a half. Overall, she's a great roommate, but we've been butting heads lately over something that I'm not entirely sure how to solve.

My roommate is an EXTREMELY social person. She's the type that either has to be hanging out with someone or be talking with someone on the phone at all times. It's not annoying until she gets into her "let's have people over and/or have a party!" mood. On the weekends, I like to go out. I spend enough time in my apartment during the week so I'm ready to hit the bars/clubs/whatever once Friday rolls around. She feels the opposite, and likes to host things. This turns into a problem when I'm in no mood to stay in or I want to go to sleep. This also turns into a problem when the downstairs neighbors come and complain about the noise, as they've done a few times already.

I've tried to tell her a few times that we get a little loud and we might want to consider toning down the parties or maybe going other places with our friends. She basically told me "no", that she didn't think we were being that loud, and that she was going to have people over anyway. Being that we pay equal shares of rent, I can't exactly say, "no, you can't have your friends over". However, I'm starting to get tired of the people coming over and I'm feeling bad for my neighbors.

What should I do? I've talked to her before, but maybe I need to say something different? I'm open to suggestions.

Also, moving out is not an option. I only have 6 months left on the lease and I really can't afford to lose my security deposit over breaking the lease.


CLIFFS:
- roommate is extremely social, likes to throw parties/get-togethers
- parties get loud, neighbors have complained
- roommate basically said "screw them" when I suggested toning it down
- stuck because I can't really tell her to do stuff since she pays half the rent
Click to expand...

You basically need to stop being a little girl. It seems like you personally don't give a shit about your roommate having people over (since you're out of the house over the weekend anyways so you claim) but only care what your neighbors think.

Well how about you let your roommate deal with the neighbors since they are her parties and have nothing to do with you.

It sounds like you are simply looking for something to complain about and have found it.

PS: Read the bold text, you asked her once, she said no. You're not getting any further than that.
 
onlyCOpunk

onlyCOpunk

Platinum Member
May 25, 2003
2,532
1
0
You could try to bargain a time limit on having friends over, like say everyone out by midnight and then they can go to said bar or club after drinks.

Or if you know you're just going to want to sloth around one night call her and tell her what you are planning.

Communication is key with roommates and if you don't like something tell her rather then letting it brew.
 
zinfamous

zinfamous

No Lifer
Jul 12, 2006
111,750
31,119
146
You should threaten to post her pics on ATOT if she doesn't comply with your requests.



This will solve her roommate problem.
 
xanis

xanis

Lifer
Sep 11, 2005
17,571
8
0
BouZouki said:
You basically need to stop being a little girl. It seems like you personally don't give a shit about your roommate having people over (since you're out of the house over the weekend anyways so you claim) but only care what your neighbors think.

Well how about you let your roommate deal with the neighbors since they are her parties and have nothing to do with you.

It sounds like you are simply looking for something to complain about and have found it.

PS: Read the bold text, you asked her once, she said no. You're not getting any further than that.
Click to expand...

You're right, I usually don't care when she has people over because the people coming are mutual friends. The times it does bother me are when I like to stay in, or when it's inappropriate (during the week). I've talked to her about this multiple times.

I would let the roommate deal with the neighbors, except that I'm always the one who gets to talk with them since my roommate isn't always home.

I guess my problem is with her attitude of "forget everyone else, I'm doing what I want".
 
Last edited:
waggy

waggy

No Lifer
Dec 14, 2000
68,143
10
81
have the neighbors talk to her. have management talk to her. have them write her a letter telling her that shit needs to stop.

it seems you talking to her is not doing it. either you are not being forceful enough or just suck at it. either way its time for someone else to do it.

or let it continue and get kicked out eventually.
 
F

Farang

Lifer
Jul 7, 2003
10,913
3
0
Ns1 said:
deal with it then GTFO
Click to expand...

Unless you resort to guerilla tactics, like walking around naked all the time, this is all you can do. She doesn't care what you think so any more talking is useless. Just bad chemistry, find another roommate.
 
Gooberlx2

Gooberlx2

Lifer
May 4, 2001
15,381
6
91
xanis said:
I would let the roommate deal with the neighbors, except that I'm always the one who gets to talk with them since my roommate is home.
Click to expand...

o_O Methinks you screwed up your wording. Why can't she deal with them, again?
 
S

SZLiao214

Diamond Member
Sep 9, 2003
3,270
2
81
Kill it with fire.

Find a new room mate or place to live. Otherwise you are screwed.
 
Jeeebus

Jeeebus

Diamond Member
Aug 29, 2006
9,181
901
126
have you given any thought to fishing around in your pubes and locating the penis that may or may not be hidden somewhere in there?
 
Gooberlx2

Gooberlx2

Lifer
May 4, 2001
15,381
6
91
xanis said:
Typo. I meant to say "isn't usually". :p
Click to expand...

Oh...but...so the neighbors apparently don't have the stones to come around and take issue when the parties are actually happening? Just tell them take it up with your roommate when it gets too loud.
 
AstroManLuca

AstroManLuca

Lifer
Jun 24, 2004
15,628
5
81
slap_a_bitch.jpg
 
DannyLove

DannyLove

Lifer
Oct 17, 2000
12,876
4
76
How old are you and your roommate? Sounds like you both are young and she sounds like an immature attention whore.

I dont see what the big problem is. Continue to confront her at every occasion, if it continues, just find a new place and get out. Or wait it out until your lease is done and get out. whatever works.
 
DrPizza

DrPizza

Administrator Elite Member Goat Whisperer
Mar 5, 2001
49,601
167
111
www.slatebrookfarm.com
So, talk to your neighbors. "Hi, just wanted to let you know that I'm not the one having a party this weekend, in case it gets loud up there. I'm going to be out; the roommate is having the party. If she and her guests get too loud, you'll have to talk to her; I've talked to her until I'm blue in the face. Perhaps coming from someone else outside the apartment will convince her. I've told her to tone it down, but just in case she gets too loud, you might want to try to convince her yourself."

Your hands are clean after that.
 
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