roommate situation -- advice?

[xanis]

I've been living with my current roommate for about a year and a half. Overall, she's a great roommate, but we've been butting heads lately over something that I'm not entirely sure how to solve.

My roommate is an EXTREMELY social person. She's the type that either has to be hanging out with someone or be talking with someone on the phone at all times. It's not annoying until she gets into her "let's have people over and/or have a party!" mood. On the weekends, I like to go out. I spend enough time in my apartment during the week so I'm ready to hit the bars/clubs/whatever once Friday rolls around. She feels the opposite, and likes to host things. This turns into a problem when I'm in no mood to stay in or I want to go to sleep. This also turns into a problem when the downstairs neighbors come and complain about the noise, as they've done a few times already.

I've tried to tell her a few times that we get a little loud and we might want to consider toning down the parties or maybe going other places with our friends. She basically told me "no", that she didn't think we were being that loud, and that she was going to have people over anyway. Being that we pay equal shares of rent, I can't exactly say, "no, you can't have your friends over". However, I'm starting to get tired of the people coming over and I'm feeling bad for my neighbors.

What should I do? I've talked to her before, but maybe I need to say something different? I'm open to suggestions.

Also, moving out is not an option. I only have 6 months left on the lease and I really can't afford to lose my security deposit over breaking the lease.


CLIFFS:
- roommate is extremely social, likes to throw parties/get-togethers
- parties get loud, neighbors have complained
- roommate basically said "screw them" when I suggested toning it down
- stuck because I can't really tell her to do stuff since she pays half the rent

 

[JMWarren]

Pics of roommate?

 

[FDF12389]

Pics first

 

[Ns1]

deal with it then GTFO

 

[fstime]

I've been living with my current roommate for about a year and a half. Overall, she's a great roommate, but we've been butting heads lately over something that I'm not entirely sure how to solve.

My roommate is an EXTREMELY social person. She's the type that either has to be hanging out with someone or be talking with someone on the phone at all times. It's not annoying until she gets into her "let's have people over and/or have a party!" mood. On the weekends, I like to go out. I spend enough time in my apartment during the week so I'm ready to hit the bars/clubs/whatever once Friday rolls around. She feels the opposite, and likes to host things. This turns into a problem when I'm in no mood to stay in or I want to go to sleep. This also turns into a problem when the downstairs neighbors come and complain about the noise, as they've done a few times already.

I've tried to tell her a few times that we get a little loud and we might want to consider toning down the parties or maybe going other places with our friends. She basically told me "no", that she didn't think we were being that loud, and that she was going to have people over anyway. Being that we pay equal shares of rent, I can't exactly say, "no, you can't have your friends over". However, I'm starting to get tired of the people coming over and I'm feeling bad for my neighbors.

What should I do? I've talked to her before, but maybe I need to say something different? I'm open to suggestions.

Also, moving out is not an option. I only have 6 months left on the lease and I really can't afford to lose my security deposit over breaking the lease.


CLIFFS:
- roommate is extremely social, likes to throw parties/get-togethers
- parties get loud, neighbors have complained
- roommate basically said "screw them" when I suggested toning it down
- stuck because I can't really tell her to do stuff since she pays half the rent

You basically need to stop being a little girl. It seems like you personally don't give a shit about your roommate having people over (since you're out of the house over the weekend anyways so you claim) but only care what your neighbors think.

Well how about you let your roommate deal with the neighbors since they are her parties and have nothing to do with you.

It sounds like you are simply looking for something to complain about and have found it.

PS: Read the bold text, you asked her once, she said no. You're not getting any further than that.

 

[Numenorean]

Bitchslap.

(This is what needs to be done to you. Then you need to grow a pair.)

 

[krylon]

pics of roommate

 

[onlyCOpunk]

You could try to bargain a time limit on having friends over, like say everyone out by midnight and then they can go to said bar or club after drinks.

Or if you know you're just going to want to sloth around one night call her and tell her what you are planning.

Communication is key with roommates and if you don't like something tell her rather then letting it brew.

 

[zinfamous]

You should threaten to post her pics on ATOT if she doesn't comply with your requests.



This will solve her roommate problem.

 

[xanis]

You basically need to stop being a little girl. It seems like you personally don't give a shit about your roommate having people over (since you're out of the house over the weekend anyways so you claim) but only care what your neighbors think.

Well how about you let your roommate deal with the neighbors since they are her parties and have nothing to do with you.

It sounds like you are simply looking for something to complain about and have found it.

PS: Read the bold text, you asked her once, she said no. You're not getting any further than that.

You're right, I usually don't care when she has people over because the people coming are mutual friends. The times it does bother me are when I like to stay in, or when it's inappropriate (during the week). I've talked to her about this multiple times.

I would let the roommate deal with the neighbors, except that I'm always the one who gets to talk with them since my roommate isn't always home.

I guess my problem is with her attitude of "forget everyone else, I'm doing what I want".

 

[waggy]

have the neighbors talk to her. have management talk to her. have them write her a letter telling her that shit needs to stop.

it seems you talking to her is not doing it. either you are not being forceful enough or just suck at it. either way its time for someone else to do it.

or let it continue and get kicked out eventually.

 

[Farang]

deal with it then GTFO

Unless you resort to guerilla tactics, like walking around naked all the time, this is all you can do. She doesn't care what you think so any more talking is useless. Just bad chemistry, find another roommate.

 

[Gooberlx2]

I would let the roommate deal with the neighbors, except that I'm always the one who gets to talk with them since my roommate is home.

Methinks you screwed up your wording. Why can't she deal with them, again?

 

[SZLiao214]

Kill it with fire.

Find a new room mate or place to live. Otherwise you are screwed.

 

[xanis]

Methinks you screwed up your wording. Why can't she deal with them, again?

Typo. I meant to say "isn't usually".

 

[Jeeebus]

have you given any thought to fishing around in your pubes and locating the penis that may or may not be hidden somewhere in there?

 

[Gooberlx2]

Typo. I meant to say "isn't usually".

Oh...but...so the neighbors apparently don't have the stones to come around and take issue when the parties are actually happening? Just tell them take it up with your roommate when it gets too loud.

 

[AstroManLuca]

 

[DannyLove]

How old are you and your roommate? Sounds like you both are young and she sounds like an immature attention whore.

I dont see what the big problem is. Continue to confront her at every occasion, if it continues, just find a new place and get out. Or wait it out until your lease is done and get out. whatever works.

 

[Ns1]

lol @ replies

 

[M0oG0oGaiPan]

you need to get her hammered and then sleep with her. maybe give her a four loco.

 

[Riceninja]

you need to get her hammered and then sleep with her. maybe give her a four loco.

four loko

 

[FuzzyDunlop]

you need to get her hammered and then sleep with her. maybe give her a four loco.

yes. humiliation is the only course of action here.

 

[DrPizza]

So, talk to your neighbors. "Hi, just wanted to let you know that I'm not the one having a party this weekend, in case it gets loud up there. I'm going to be out; the roommate is having the party. If she and her guests get too loud, you'll have to talk to her; I've talked to her until I'm blue in the face. Perhaps coming from someone else outside the apartment will convince her. I've told her to tone it down, but just in case she gets too loud, you might want to try to convince her yourself."

Your hands are clean after that.

 

[ViviTheMage]

shred it