Roomate keeps eating my damn food!

[Bulk Beef]

HUMONGOUS VAGINA

I really have nothing useful to add to this thread, but I wanted to quote that for posterity.

 

[DiZASTiX]

Get something you know he will eat, then poop/pee/put something disgusting in it 😀

 

[Izzo]

How about "I'm sorry you got stabbed in the head with a screwdriver. Oh, BTW, could you stop eating my Louis Rich Deli Select luncheon meat and Wonderbread?"

 

[FuzzyBee]

Originally posted by: Fausto1
Bake brownies......add large amounts of laxatives to brownie mix.......problem solved. 😀

huh-huh. you said "bake brownies". that was cool </beavis>

 

[LikeLinus]

You need

1. one role of heavy duty grade painters plastic sheets
2. hatchet and/or chainsaw
3. one shovel
4. one bag of lime

Problem solved

 

[Dedpuhl]

My roommate and I buy most of our own food. However, we take turns buying stuff like bread, milk, and soft drinks. If I eat something of his, I tell him I used it and that i will either pay him back or buy it the next time we go to the store.

 

[FuzzyBee]

Originally posted by: amnesiac

*sniff*
*sniff*

What's that smell?

Oh, that's just your HUMONGOUS VAGINA.

Maybe it's just the can the roomie left after he snarfed down all the tuna.

 

[notfred]

Yet another "I'm a pussy afraid to tell people what I think.... how can I remain a pussy for less money?" thread.

 

[NathanBWF]

Originally posted by: Izzo
How about "I'm sorry you got stabbed in the head with a screwdriver. Oh, BTW, could you stop eating my Louis Rich Deli Select luncheon meat and Wonderbread?"

ROFL...alright fine. I'll just talk to him about it. But if he kicks the living hell outta me I'm blaming it on ATOT! I'm gonna take a sharpie and start writing my name on all my food...see if he takes the hint. <homer>Mmmmm....sharpie flavored apples</homer>

 

[SilverThief]

Grenades in the refrigerator.
😀

 

[Jhill]

Say "Where the fu@k is that tainted, sperm infested lunchmeat that I need for my biology lab class"?

 

[Howard]

Buy some Insanity Sauce.

 

[Yossarian]

Originally posted by: NathanBWF

Originally posted by: Izzo
How about "I'm sorry you got stabbed in the head with a screwdriver. Oh, BTW, could you stop eating my Louis Rich Deli Select luncheon meat and Wonderbread?"

ROFL...alright fine. I'll just talk to him about it. But if he kicks the living hell outta me I'm blaming it on ATOT! I'm gonna take a sharpie and start writing my name on all my food...see if he takes the hint. <homer>Mmmmm....sharpie flavored apples</homer>

If this guy is such a good friend why are you so fvcking scared of him? You're not his friend, you're his bitch.

 

[heartsurgeon]

move out or get a new roomate....this will never get resolved....

why do you want to room with some guy who is broke, and then complain about it?

either let him mooch off of you, or move out...

 

[Ernieb]

stop buying food..or leave the food in your own room..
i know sounds mean.. but he is being mean to you too.

 

[fyleow]

Why don't you just TALK to him? What is with this sharpie business.

 

[Ausm]

Originally posted by: Fausto1
Bake brownies......add large amounts of laxatives to brownie mix.......problem solved. 😀

We did that in college..the dude almost died of dehydration so make sure you have some Gatorade on hand after he eats them 😀

Ausm

 

[Kev]

you are a god damned idiot. i hope your roomate finds out about the laxative and beats the sh*t out of you. all you have to do is talk to the guy. i can't believe you won't try talking to him. you seriously lack scrotum

EDIT - i see that you have decided to talk to him. i agree with one of the above comments, you are not his friend, you are his bitch

 

[Brutuskend]

Text

 

[BooGiMaN]

when he eats your food ...you drink all his alcohol....he wil catch on

besides if he has money for booze he has enough to buy his own damn lunch meat....i say start eating out.

 

[NathanBWF]

Originally posted by: BooGiMaN
when he eats your food ...you drink all his alcohol....he wil catch on

besides if he has money for booze he has enough to buy his own damn lunch meat....i say start eating out.

Exactly. That's another thing that pisses me off...he always expects me to go buy beer. Sometimes I buy beer for myself but of course by the time i get home all i got left is a case with 12 empty bottles in it so I've also stopped bringing booze home...

 

[Leetman]

Originally posted by: Jhill
Say "Where the fu@k is that tainted, sperm infested lunchmeat that I need for my biology lab class"?

LoL yes.

 

[ElFenix]

rub your penis on the fridge handle in his presense!

 

[FuzzyBee]

Originally posted by: NathanBWF

Originally posted by: BooGiMaN
when he eats your food ...you drink all his alcohol....he wil catch on

besides if he has money for booze he has enough to buy his own damn lunch meat....i say start eating out.

Exactly. That's another thing that pisses me off...he always expects me to go buy beer. Sometimes I buy beer for myself but of course by the time i get home all i got left is a case with 12 empty bottles in it so I've also stopped bringing booze home...

i hate to reinforce this, but you're his bitch.

 

[FuzzyBee]

Originally posted by: ElFenix
rub your penis on the fridge handle in his presense!

sounds like the voice of experience.