Room mates Mom asks me to move out FINAL UPDATE

DaiShan

Diamond Member
Jul 5, 2001
9,617
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Sorry guys, I didn't think that I left you hanging with my last post, but here is the final resolution on the story:

She moved out and I haven't seen her since, she's called my cell phone a few times since, but not at all for the past few months. In any case I didn't answer nor will I answer. Things were a little weird with my other friends for a few weeks while I determined where I stood with them, but that has since passed and we can hang out. Things really have gotten better for me, I have a lot more stressful activities in my life now (working more, started my own company, and school) but I don't feel nearly as stressed as I used to, and I'm almost never depressed.

I've gotten everything back that was mine, I decided against restraining orders because I just didn't feel there would be a tangible benefit that would justify the time and money. My other room mate is still "friends" with her, which means he has to leave parties that we are at occasionally to go help her through some crisis. I don't talk about her to people and I don't give him any advice about her because I think its just asking for trouble.

Again sorry for the lack of updates, I don't want anyone to feel syringered! Things are good now and much less complicated. Thanks again for listening to my insane problems back in November!




So I moved into an appartment this year with my bestfriend since 8th grade and a girl that I have known since I was 8. Everything was cool for a while all good, one day things just change, and she starts like acting weird around me so I'm like screw it start hangin out with other people etc.

Well basically for the past 6 weeks at least once a week we'll get into a huge argument and she flips out over something really small, like me having a girl over to watch a movie or spend the night. So skipping a lot here to keep it short her mom came down to go shopping with her for the day thursday, ended up staying, is still here, yesterday my room mate said she was moving out by tuesday and I'm like wtf why so we talk and her mom is like there is nothing you can do you're causing her to make bad decisions I don't want you two hanging out etc. I don't think its a great idea for this girl to live alone, she gets depressed really easily and I was like I don't want you to live alone and she said its either that or move back home and live with her parents and go to a different school so I'm like eh aight if its good for you then do it.

Then just now her mom comes down and is like I don't want her living alone what if you just moved out, and I'm like no way am I paying 2 leases so she said she would take care of everything, all the papers everything (she's a lawyer) pay for the rent here and pay the difference in rent between this place and wherever I move to, but she wants me out by next monday.

I really don't wanna leave, I have all my HT stuff set up here, gonna be hell to move, plus then it would basically be like her and all my friends hang out and I live by myself, (all of our friends hang out at our place) and her mom doesn't want me coming back. WTF would you guys do?

/edit oh yeah about the bad decisions I made her quit smoking and stop taking X, wonder if those are the bad decisions she is talking about...


/edit UPDATE yeah not that I needed more advice, but I still had to at least talk to my dad about the situation. After I got off the phone with him I went up stairs and calmly told her that I had decided it was best for me to stay in this apartment and asked her to give me a few days notice when she intended to move out so I could get utilities put in my name. She looked really depressed, but I didn't want to risk going into another long talk with no resolution. She walked out of the room got her cell phone and left without saying anything to me other than "OK"

UPDATE #2 Last night I was helping them pack up, my room mate seemed cool so I was just trying to make things go smoothly. I Offhandedly asked her mom what they were doing about the lease because each month each of my room mates pays me $17.64 because my room is smallest (the complex normally charges that price for people that didnt know each other going in, but because we signed up as friends they let us deal with it) so I wanted to make sure that if she was going to have to continue paying the lease, then I wanted to have my 17.67 a month, its not a lot, but helps with utilities etc.

Anyways at this point her mom says "I don't know what I'm going to do, I haven't even decided if I'm not going to sue you yet" So I said "Ok, I'm not going to get into this with you, I just want things to go smoothly here" so she said "you'll get into whatever I tell you to get into you piece of sh!7" Then my room mate was like mom chill out so I'm like "I'm going to stay out of the way" and her mom said "you need to get the f#@% out while I'm here, come back in a few days" So at this point I seriously can't handle that so I said "I'm not goin anywhere, and you are being very petty here...its like arguing with a child" which wasn't a great thing to say heh. My room mate was like show my mom some fscking respect and I'm like you need to chlll, you two deserve each other. That sent her over the edge so she started hitting me, so at this point I'm like I don't want them messing with my stuff so I called the security guard to get the number for the police.

I called the police and talked to an officer who said they would send a unit out if I would like and have them arrested for assault if I wanted, but that was not going to help the situation, I asked if they could just send an officer to supervise and they said they don't do stand by but they will take them off to jail if that is what I wanted. I told them not to do that, so they gave me some advice on what to do.

I started taking pictures of all of my stuff and the whole process, the security guard came down and was supervising the process making sure everyone kept their cool, I called my dad and told him the situation and he just said, if she wants to be petty and try to sue let her, she'll just be wasting her time, but that I shouldn't worry about it too much, not worth wasting the time on. So after that I packed some stuff up to head to a friends apartment, left the video camera running making sure they didn't go in my room, I was gonna spend the night at a friends house, but we all decided screw that, I pay rent here no way in he11 I'm sleeping on the floor because her mom has issues. So I came back and slept here with my door locked.

That whole night sucked, I don't know why they felt it was necessary to leave at midnight but they did, the worst part was having my room mate blow up at me, her mom I can handle I don't give a sh1t what that crazy ho does, but basically this means I'm not talking to that girl again.

/edit UPDATE: Couldn't update because they took the DSL modem and Router out of my room while I was out. Both of which I paid for. My other room mate has since recovered them, but the service was in her name so I'll be without internet for a few days.

Last night her dad came into my room while I was on the phone with my dad (who got me a lawyer yesterday) and said that he didn't want me to see his daughter ever again and if I did he would "come down and settle the score"

I drove home last night before I did anything I would regret. Anyways just met with the lawyer today, he's a friend of my dads. They want me to file a restraining order against her and her family. Also it won't be the first for either the mother or the daughter.

To answer a few questions: No I have never done anything remotely sexual with this girl, no kissing, nothing, you don't date room mates, and even before that it was platonic. Also I don't know what has caused it to come to this level. My other room mate said her mom asked her if I ever hit her or ever would, and mentioned something about her asking about "voices" I have no idea where that comes from, both her and her younger brother have tried to commit suicide and a few christmas's ago her mom went after her dad with a knife, so talking about my stability is a little hypocritical.
 

DaiShan

Diamond Member
Jul 5, 2001
9,617
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There is a lot more, mostly though we've been fighting lately, I kinda know what her mom is talking about, I get REALLY stressed out with my whole situation here, spend hours thinking about it at work, I have to force myself to concentrate on school when I'm studying, I think it would be best if we didn't live together, I mean it will suck for at least a while, but it will get better, I just don't like the way she went about this, I was the last person to tell, she even told my room mate from last year before me, her mom suggested she just tell me when the moving vans showed up. I really don't want to stop being her friend, but right now she seems to be taking her moms advice.
 

Triumph

Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
15,031
13
81
This story doesn't make sense, you must be leaving something out because it sounds too ridiculous. What did you do to the girl to make her frightened to live in her own apartment? Because that's what it sounds like.
 

Ornery

Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
20,022
17
81
That would be a REALLY easy decision for me. I'd be out of there like yesterday, especially if she'll foot the bill for the extra expenses. Who needs all that drama everyday?
 

Mill

Lifer
Oct 10, 1999
28,558
3
81
I wouldn't trust someone to pay the difference for me. The girl's problems are hers, and you shouldn't have to move because of it.
 

DaiShan

Diamond Member
Jul 5, 2001
9,617
1
0
Originally posted by: Triumph
If your name is on the lease, no one can kick you out. Hell no would I pay two leases just because some psycho girl has a crush on me.

Yeah no I know they can't force me out, and her mom is willing to pay for this lease and whatever the difference is between what I pay here and what I pay (if I decide to move)
 

DaiShan

Diamond Member
Jul 5, 2001
9,617
1
0
Originally posted by: Ornery
That would be a REALLY easy decision for me. I'd be out of there like yesterday, especially if she'll foot the bill for the extra expenses. Who needs all that drama everyday?

Either way one of us is moving, just a matter of who, the only thing that I'm concerned about is she will be living with my bestfriend and I'm a little worried I won't be able to hang out with that group of friends.
 

DaiShan

Diamond Member
Jul 5, 2001
9,617
1
0
Lol, no I didn't try to hit it, she is a really good friend thats why this is so screwed up, no I lived with a girl this summer for summer term, she wasn't a friend from before though, her room mate was just subletting for the summer. There were no problems then.
 

Injury

Lifer
Jul 19, 2004
13,066
2
0
Tell her to shut the hell up and stay right where you are. Stop being a sissy. In fact, have girls over every damn night to watch movies. Then, totally ignore your roommate unless she is talking to you about something that matters (bills, cleaning issues...)

If you wind up being a sissy and moving out, get a signed and notorized agreement between you and her mom saying that she will be paying for you to live elsewhere, including the specifics. No sooner than you move out she could wind up not caring about you, because at that point you wouldn't move back in and there's nothing you can do.
 

Injury

Lifer
Jul 19, 2004
13,066
2
0
Originally posted by: DaiShan
Originally posted by: Ornery
That would be a REALLY easy decision for me. I'd be out of there like yesterday, especially if she'll foot the bill for the extra expenses. Who needs all that drama everyday?

Either way one of us is moving, just a matter of who, the only thing that I'm concerned about is she will be living with my bestfriend and I'm a little worried I won't be able to hang out with that group of friends.

Pfffft. Screw that. Hang out with who you want to hang out with. Don't let this girl run your life.
 

GtPrOjEcTX

Lifer
Jul 3, 2001
10,784
6
81
Originally posted by: DaiShan
Originally posted by: Triumph
If your name is on the lease, no one can kick you out. Hell no would I pay two leases just because some psycho girl has a crush on me.
Yeah no I know they can't force me out, and her mom is willing to pay for this lease and whatever the difference is between what I pay here and what I pay (if I decide to move)
Sounds to me like the mom will not pay for the lease but is just saying that to get you out. Don't trust her. You'll end up paying 2 leases.
 

isekii

Lifer
Mar 16, 2001
28,578
3
81
Originally posted by: GtPrOjEcTX
Originally posted by: DaiShan
Originally posted by: Triumph
If your name is on the lease, no one can kick you out. Hell no would I pay two leases just because some psycho girl has a crush on me.
Yeah no I know they can't force me out, and her mom is willing to pay for this lease and whatever the difference is between what I pay here and what I pay (if I decide to move)
Sounds to me like the mom will not pay for the lease but is just saying that to get you out. Don't trust her. You'll end up paying 2 leases.

werd
have the other hoe leave... get a new roommate.
 

Wallydraigle

Banned
Nov 27, 2000
10,754
1
0
Originally posted by: DaiShan
Originally posted by: Ornery
That would be a REALLY easy decision for me. I'd be out of there like yesterday, especially if she'll foot the bill for the extra expenses. Who needs all that drama everyday?

Either way one of us is moving, just a matter of who, the only thing that I'm concerned about is she will be living with my bestfriend and I'm a little worried I won't be able to hang out with that group of friends.



[Mr. Garrison]Never let poontang come between you and your friends.[/Mr. Garrison]
 

DaiShan

Diamond Member
Jul 5, 2001
9,617
1
0
Her mom is paying for one of the leases here either way (I'd get it in writing of course, if I moved out and not written by her) There will be an empty room in the apartment one way or the other.
 

isekii

Lifer
Mar 16, 2001
28,578
3
81
Originally posted by: DaiShan
Her mom is paying for one of the leases here either way (I'd get it in writing of course, if I moved out and not written by her) There will be an empty room in the apartment one way or the other.

then upgrade to a better place, and have her pay half of everything.
then migrate your friends over there as well.
 

PowerMac4Ever

Banned
Dec 9, 2000
5,246
0
0
Originally posted by: Mill
I wouldn't trust someone to pay the difference for me.
Agreed. IMHO you would need to sign a contract with her, but to do that you would need a lawyer since she is one and could possibly screw you over in the future.
 
Sep 29, 2004
18,665
67
91
Originally posted by: DaiShan
So I moved into an appartment this year with my bestfriend since 8th grade and a girl that I have known since I was 8. Everything was cool for a while all good, one day things just change, and she starts like acting weird around me so I'm like screw it start hangin out with other people etc.

Well basically for the past 6 weeks at least once a week we'll get into a huge argument and she flips out over something really small, like me having a girl over to watch a movie or spend the night. So skipping a lot here to keep it short her mom came down to go shopping with her for the day thursday, ended up staying, is still here, yesterday my room mate said she was moving out by tuesday and I'm like wtf why so we talk and her mom is like there is nothing you can do you're causing her to make bad decisions I don't want you two hanging out etc. I don't think its a great idea for this girl to live alone, she gets depressed really easily and I was like I don't want you to live alone and she said its either that or move back home and live with her parents and go to a different school so I'm like eh aight if its good for you then do it.

Then just now her mom comes down and is like I don't want her living alone what if you just moved out, and I'm like no way am I paying 2 leases so she said she would take care of everything, all the papers everything (she's a lawyer) pay for the rent here and pay the difference in rent between this place and wherever I move to, but she wants me out by next monday.

I really don't wanna leave, I have all my HT stuff set up here, gonna be hell to move, plus then it would basically be like her and all my friends hang out and I live by myself, (all of our friends hang out at our place) and her mom doesn't want me coming back. WTF would you guys do?

/edit oh yeah about the bad decisions I made her quit smoking and stop taking X, wonder if those are the bad decisions she is talking about...

Please like repost in a manner like inconsistant with being a chick. You really shold be like glad she is gone because you like talk like a total woman.
 

whoiswes

Senior member
Oct 4, 2002
850
0
76
Originally posted by: DaiShan
Originally posted by: Triumph
If your name is on the lease, no one can kick you out. Hell no would I pay two leases just because some psycho girl has a crush on me.

Yeah no I know they can't force me out, and her mom is willing to pay for this lease and whatever the difference is between what I pay here and what I pay (if I decide to move)

go pick out the most luxurious apartment with as many ammenities as you can find and move in there. if you're really good, you can get a 3 BR (since you live in one now) and then find two roomies and let them live for cheap. then you MAKE money on the deal.

sorry, but i can't stand nosy parents who try to coddle their kids through college - if you can't stand the empty nest syndrome, get a damn dog.

oh yeah, sounds like this whole family is wrapped way too tight - get away while you can, but make sure you get a lump sum check UP FRONT for the rent for the year - make sure she can't come back to screw you later.

/fvcking lawyers