- Jan 21, 2005
- 17,722
- 6
- 81
So, we have a room mate who pays rent but is literally never at home. He only comes to the house to "hang out with his friends" (aka buy drugs). I told him specifically on two occasions to not do drug deals in our home. He understood, but then one night, two weeks ago, he said "some friends are coming over to watch football". I'm not a dummy, of course he was going to buy drugs.
The same room mate has abused and tortured our kitty. Boo is only about a year old. He has literally scared shit out of him by poking him with broom handles, folding him up into boxes, and he said at one point he cut off Boo's air way. He has smeared feces on the cat on occasion as well. When Boo sees him, he immediately begins hissing and tries to fight him, understandably. We have approached him about this situation as well (on three occasions), yet continues to bother the cat.
This room mate and I used to be close, but he has become very strange and distant. I do not feel comfortable around him, and nor do I feel comfortable leaving my lady around him alone. I feel as if he could go postal at any moment.
Drugs have really messed up my friend. He smokes weed, does hallucinogens, and I think even some uppers like Adderall and the like. He is also on antidepressants, so he has some underlying mental issues as well. I do partake in mild ganja use, but it has never affected me like it affected my friend. I truly believe he is insane. I don't think these mental problems were addressed before he started becoming a user, and the drugs exacerbated his problem.
So, my plan is to change the locks on the house and tell him to return his keys. I wanted to change the locks before I told him. I'm a little afraid of the consequences of this. He hangs out with some REALLY shady people (drug dealers). These people have been in my house and seen what I own (lots of nice stuff). And I don't want people breaking into my house and stealing/raping/murdering. We do have a security system that we use religiously. I'm just wondering if I'm being too overly cautious with him.
Does anyone have some advice? He used to be such a close friend and now he is a whacko. He has done some shady shit with girls outside of our house, too, a few years ago. Like, borderline illegal stuff.
TIA
TL;DR
1) have room mate
2) room mate buys drugs in our house, abuses our cat
3) addressed these issues to him directly, but they still happen
4) kicking him out and changing the locks
5) worried about possible repercussions from him or his shady friends
6) wondering if I am handling this OK or if anyone has any extra advice. TIA.
Update 11/6/2012
Hey everyone, brief update. Things went a lot better than usual. This is what went down.
After reading the thread, we decided we should probably try to kick him out without bringing up past issues. He defended his actions (cat abuse, drug deals, etc) tooth and nail. So, we decided to find a ploy to get him out. He came by the other day, and I said "Hey, we're going to move the weight rack in the garage into your room since the room is virtually unused anyway," He agreed and I figured it was implied he was done. He left, and I forgot to ask for the keys. When he came back the next day, I asked for the keys, and he left while I was in the john.
I finally got a hold of him just a bit ago via telephone to clear up some stuff. I told him that he wasn't really around and we wanted to use that room. And since he never stayed there, I figured it wasn't going to be a big deal. I asked if we were cool, and he was a little wishy-washy. He seemed to start pouting, and quickly ended the conversation.
We still don't have the keys, but after consulting with a few people, we are able to change the locks without issue.
The same room mate has abused and tortured our kitty. Boo is only about a year old. He has literally scared shit out of him by poking him with broom handles, folding him up into boxes, and he said at one point he cut off Boo's air way. He has smeared feces on the cat on occasion as well. When Boo sees him, he immediately begins hissing and tries to fight him, understandably. We have approached him about this situation as well (on three occasions), yet continues to bother the cat.
This room mate and I used to be close, but he has become very strange and distant. I do not feel comfortable around him, and nor do I feel comfortable leaving my lady around him alone. I feel as if he could go postal at any moment.
Drugs have really messed up my friend. He smokes weed, does hallucinogens, and I think even some uppers like Adderall and the like. He is also on antidepressants, so he has some underlying mental issues as well. I do partake in mild ganja use, but it has never affected me like it affected my friend. I truly believe he is insane. I don't think these mental problems were addressed before he started becoming a user, and the drugs exacerbated his problem.
So, my plan is to change the locks on the house and tell him to return his keys. I wanted to change the locks before I told him. I'm a little afraid of the consequences of this. He hangs out with some REALLY shady people (drug dealers). These people have been in my house and seen what I own (lots of nice stuff). And I don't want people breaking into my house and stealing/raping/murdering. We do have a security system that we use religiously. I'm just wondering if I'm being too overly cautious with him.
Does anyone have some advice? He used to be such a close friend and now he is a whacko. He has done some shady shit with girls outside of our house, too, a few years ago. Like, borderline illegal stuff.
TIA
TL;DR
1) have room mate
2) room mate buys drugs in our house, abuses our cat
3) addressed these issues to him directly, but they still happen
4) kicking him out and changing the locks
5) worried about possible repercussions from him or his shady friends
6) wondering if I am handling this OK or if anyone has any extra advice. TIA.
Update 11/6/2012
Hey everyone, brief update. Things went a lot better than usual. This is what went down.
After reading the thread, we decided we should probably try to kick him out without bringing up past issues. He defended his actions (cat abuse, drug deals, etc) tooth and nail. So, we decided to find a ploy to get him out. He came by the other day, and I said "Hey, we're going to move the weight rack in the garage into your room since the room is virtually unused anyway," He agreed and I figured it was implied he was done. He left, and I forgot to ask for the keys. When he came back the next day, I asked for the keys, and he left while I was in the john.
I finally got a hold of him just a bit ago via telephone to clear up some stuff. I told him that he wasn't really around and we wanted to use that room. And since he never stayed there, I figured it wasn't going to be a big deal. I asked if we were cool, and he was a little wishy-washy. He seemed to start pouting, and quickly ended the conversation.
We still don't have the keys, but after consulting with a few people, we are able to change the locks without issue.
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