ROFL @ my dad

[DVad3r]

My dads a truck driving instructor at a big college here in the city. All day he teaches people how to drive a 13 speed truck. Most clients the college gets are immigrants, mainly from india, the middle east, asia, and africa. Most of these people have never driven a car, some have ridden elephants (literally, they even made comparisons between elephants and trucks and how they both sit up high). Anyways he was telling me and a couple of friends what he does with people that can't really shift gears.

In order to shift gears, you need to press the clutch with your left leg and move the shifter with your right hand. This action requires both sides of the brain to work together and synchronize the movements. When he has a student that does not shift well, he tells them that their brain functions arent working properly and that some people are born with a genetic disorder where they lack a "bridging system". His students listen intently on what he is talking about obviously concerned that they themselves might have this genetic abnormality. After a while he tells them that there is a clinic in the city that installs "bridges" in your head connecting the two sides. He tells them it's a simple procedure and there is a bronze, silver, and gold bridge available, gold obviously being the best quality giving you the best connection. After usually some deep thought on the students side, they go and ask my dad if the clinic has a phone number and address, LOL.

Tell me thats not fuckin hilarious?

Btw for all you sensitive types this thread is in no way racist, we are immigrants ourselves, this is just simple reality.

 

[clamum]

Hahahaha

 

[rivan]

So, what you're saying is your dad takes the trust these people have obviously placed in him and acts like a prick with it?

I mean, it'd be one thing if they had any idea he was just fsking with them. It doesn't sound like they do.

2/10. Not totally without merit but the targets are too easy for a better score.

 

[buck]

A little sad, now, if this was your brother or friend, thats a different story.

 

[ShotgunSteven]

Originally posted by: rivan
So, what you're saying is your dad takes the trust these people have obviously placed in him and acts like a prick with it?

I mean, it'd be one thing if they had any idea he was just fsking with them. It doesn't sound like they do.

2/10. Not totally without merit but the targets are too easy for a better score.

It is more fun if the target should know better. I could probably pull this on most of the higher-ups at my workplace.

 

[Tooncesthedrivingcat]

way too funny

 

[DVad3r]

He also takes some that just came to Canada by this warehouse that has a huge moose on top of it with wings. Then he tells them about this rare animal we have here and how they can see it if they go to Algonquin Park during the end of the summer when it's their mating season. The more intelligent students will ask if it's a bird or a mammal and how could it be possible. He tells them about bats and how they are mammals, which results in a deep state of thought. I wonder if any park rangers that work at Algonquin Park ever got anyone asking about flying mooses. LOL

 

[everman]

You had my hopes up until the end, thanks for shattering my dreams in one fell swoop.

 

[Canai]

:roll:

 

[Pepsi90919]

0

 

[ShotgunSteven]

Originally posted by: DVad3r
He also takes some that just came to Canada by this warehouse that has a huge moose on top of it with wings. Then he tells them about this rare animal we have here and how they can see it if they go to Algonquin Park during the end of the summer when it's their mating season. The more intelligent students will ask if it's a bird or a mammal and how could it be possible. He tells them about bats and how they are mammals, which results in a deep state of thought. I wonder if any park rangers that work at Algonquin Park ever got anyone asking about flying mooses. LOL

We had one up here in Alaska. If I remember the story correctly, a moose fell off of a cliff hanging over the road and landed on a police car.

 

[DVad3r]

Originally posted by: ShotgunSteven

Originally posted by: DVad3r
He also takes some that just came to Canada by this warehouse that has a huge moose on top of it with wings. Then he tells them about this rare animal we have here and how they can see it if they go to Algonquin Park during the end of the summer when it's their mating season. The more intelligent students will ask if it's a bird or a mammal and how could it be possible. He tells them about bats and how they are mammals, which results in a deep state of thought. I wonder if any park rangers that work at Algonquin Park ever got anyone asking about flying mooses. LOL

We had one up here in Alaska. If I remember the story correctly, a moose fell off of a cliff at the edge of the road and landed on a police car.

lol that must have been awesome, and unexpected. It's like those fat sea lions that die trying to climb those steep cliffs with wet grass and slide down all the time.

 

[ShotgunSteven]

Originally posted by: DVad3r

Originally posted by: ShotgunSteven

Originally posted by: DVad3r
He also takes some that just came to Canada by this warehouse that has a huge moose on top of it with wings. Then he tells them about this rare animal we have here and how they can see it if they go to Algonquin Park during the end of the summer when it's their mating season. The more intelligent students will ask if it's a bird or a mammal and how could it be possible. He tells them about bats and how they are mammals, which results in a deep state of thought. I wonder if any park rangers that work at Algonquin Park ever got anyone asking about flying mooses. LOL

We had one up here in Alaska. If I remember the story correctly, a moose fell off of a cliff at the edge of the road and landed on a police car.

lol that must have been awesome, and unexpected. It's like those fat sea lions that die trying to climb those steep cliffs with wet grass and slide down all the time.

It was South of Anchorage I believe. The Trooper had exited his car to check something out, heard a crash, turned around, and the moose had landed on it. Tried to find it on the Anchorage Daily News website, but no dice. If I can find it online or in one of my old papers, I will post the whole thing.

EDIT: Found it. I thought the original report had been that it landed on the car, but apparently it fell in front of it.

 

[destrekor]

Originally posted by: DVad3r
He also takes some that just came to Canada by this warehouse that has a huge moose on top of it with wings. Then he tells them about this rare animal we have here and how they can see it if they go to Algonquin Park during the end of the summer when it's their mating season. The more intelligent students will ask if it's a bird or a mammal and how could it be possible. He tells them about bats and how they are mammals, which results in a deep state of thought. I wonder if any park rangers that work at Algonquin Park ever got anyone asking about flying mooses. LOL

now THAT is gold. :laugh: That's some shit I'd pull right there.
Later on though, I'd probably pull one of the 'brainier' ones and offer a little more insight. But I'd probably through some leg pulling in to that as well.

+

 

[JulesMaximus]

Sorry, but there is no easy way to put this...your Dad is a douchebag.

 

[Baked]

Like father, like son. You guys are pricks. Yet another proof that females love assholes.

 

[Gothgar]

lol

 

[Tooncesthedrivingcat]

can't....... stop............... laughing.

 

[Martin]

You know most of them probably just nod eagerly in the hopes that the senile old coot next to them will just STFU?

 

[DVad3r]

Originally posted by: Martin
You know most of them probably just nod eagerly in the hopes that the senile old coot next to them will just STFU?

I highly doubt that, they call him "Sir" and they listen patiently/attentively like no tomorow. Im pretty sure my dad would know if they were just pretending to play "dumb". The point of the story is that they actually do fall for it and are serious in their inquiries. Plus my dad and his trucking buddies all talk about shit they do while giving lessons, hearing them talk sometimes is like a fuckin comedy show. The best is when they compare counts of how many sign poles each one mowed down today with the trailer. If they mow their own mirrors down because they drive too close to the curb its like bonus points. And if they destroy a docking warehouse and rearrange bricks its like they scored the jackpot of the day, either that or making the transmission explode lol.

Those trucks are 2007 models and have like 80,000 km on them and have been through so many repairs its not even funny.

And maybe ya we are both douchebags but you have to have fun in life, or else whats the point?

 

[ConstipatedVigilante]

Hilarious, but I feel bad for these immigrants (if they're legal).

 

[upsciLLion]

FUCKING RETARDED

 

[DVad3r]

Originally posted by: upsciLLion
FUCKING RETARDED

Like retarded as in this thread is awesome or retarded as in we are bad bad people and should have our tongues cut out?

 

[upsciLLion]

Originally posted by: DVad3r

Originally posted by: upsciLLion
FUCKING RETARDED

Like retarded as in this thread is awesome or retarded as in we are bad bad people and should have our tongues cut out?

Like his dad is a dipshit and I would intentionally constipate myself so I could clock him on the head with a poop club.

 

[Tobolo]

Originally posted by: DVad3r
He also takes some that just came to Canada by this warehouse that has a huge moose on top of it with wings. Then he tells them about this rare animal we have here and how they can see it if they go to Algonquin Park during the end of the summer when it's their mating season. The more intelligent students will ask if it's a bird or a mammal and how could it be possible. He tells them about bats and how they are mammals, which results in a deep state of thought. I wonder if any park rangers that work at Algonquin Park ever got anyone asking about flying mooses. LOL

Your dad is nothing more than an asshole.

I approve!