With your motherboard, it's very possible to use Cool n Quiet while overclocking. You just have to raise vcore with percentages, through Special VID Control, in the BIOS, instead of VID Control.
For instance, if you're running your 165 @1.45v, then instead of setting the VID Control to 1.45v, set it to 1.325v, and set Special VID Control to Above VID+110%. Then, your cpu will get 1.325x110%=1.4575v. But, the difference will be that when Cool n Quiet enables, it will give the cpu 1.1vx110%=1.21v, instead of it giving it 1.1v, like it was when you were trying before. It seems to work for at least 90% of people with a DFI board. It won't work, if you're going for a max overclock, with minimum voltage, though.
edit: When CnQ enables, it doesn't change your HTT, it only changes the multiplier to 5x. So, if you're running at a 280 Mhz HTT, it will change it to 5x280=1400 Mhz. That's why it needs more voltage, than it does at a 200 Mhz HTT. Also, if you're running more than about 260 Mhz HTT, I would recommend you try a lower VID Control, and a higher Special VID, like 1.275x113%=1.44v, and it will give you 1.1vX113%=1.24v, when CnQ kicks in.