from my L&R reply last night
Last night our big alpha feral cat returned to our backyard around 8pm. We hadn't seen him for months, he'd piss me off at times chasing other cats away and being too loud at times.
He was reduced to less than half his weight, bleeding out his nose and his one ear was very wet/leaking. He came over to the water bowls and just laid down after I refilled them that night. As I watched him from my couch I knew something was wrong. I went out with some canned food and usually all the cats will scatter then come right back after I leave...he never really ever ran from me, but he'd go under the fence by the food and just watch me set it up. The other half dozen cats (most of them his kittens) didn't run far. They went to the edges and laid back down, just watching.
He just laid there. That's when I noticed the bleeding and him wheezing. He drank a bit of water but that was it. I went back out with a washcloth and cleaned up him a bit. He seemed to like that even though his nose kept dripping blood. He didn't seem in pain too much. This cat had lost a lot of weight in the past (someone shot him straight through his foot last year, but he ended up making it through). He was probably about 6 or 7, he was full grown when we moved in here and inherited him 2+ years ago.
As I watched him I noticed him going to the wet food and just sniffing it, then laying down. He had some water then walked over to the food station we have and just stared at it a bit...next I saw him standing but resting his head on the ground. It was sad. He wanted to eat, but knew I think to take nothing. About 20-30 mins later he was in front of our recycling bins...he couldn't get inside them, but all the cats know this is the perfect place to set up guarding the food. He ended up taking a short nap. It was dark by now so I'd shine a flashlight out to check on him. By now the momma cat and her kittens all took stations around our food area. They set up a little perimeter. They'd take turns going over to lick him a bit now and then.
That's how I knew he was still alive.
His tail would move a bit and he'd flex his paws. Next I noticed he had moved to the edge of the concrete pad we have back there and rested his head on the grass. We had already called an emergency vet, but my wife and I decided he was dying definitely...anything we did at this point would just make him suffer at his last moments of life. For others out there it was surprisingly reasonable. $82 up front to see the pet.
I understand them wanting the money first. Then they will examine the pet and discuss their thoughts on cost of saving them. In my hometown there were more than I knew existed. I just searched google for "emergency vet [my city]" and over 10 showed up. 1 was 5 minutes away.
I knew at this point he was dying. There was a presence over the whole area. All the other cats were different. There was a full plate of canned food for them, but no one was really eating.
Next I looked it was about 10pm. My flashlight caught his eyes with no reaction. I told my wife I may need some help, then I went out to check him out. Two of the kittens were sniffing then running away. As I approached they went to the further edges...he was definitely dead. His eyes showed no reaction to my flashlight, he had urinated a little bit where he had laid, and there was a little spot of water at his one ear.
I took a few minutes to examine him. His paw had fully healed, althought a bit misshapen. His one ear was fully split to the middle but healed. A few hairless spots on his now small and very short-haired body (he used to have a full coat)...he was practically a skeleton. He died relaxed at least. His one side of his cheek and neck was larger. Cancer is common in older cats, esp nasal types. He may have developed it...he may just have gotten hit by a car that night too. Regardless his weight loss was a month or more in the making.
My wife held a flashlight and I dug a hole in my backyard out at the edge. We both checked one last time whether he was alive. His temperature had fallen slightly. His eyes didn't even respond to full maglite within an inch. I picked him up and placed him on a large shovel. I put him down in the his plot and we buried him. Moments later a thunderstorm started and the little dog I just inherited from my grandmother came running up to us for comfort. Life moves on.
I am sure tonight will be the normal crowd. Already trying to forget the night before. I am sure they will remember him whether he was helping or chasing them over the rest of their lives.