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Resume Critique

bobross419

bobross419

Golden Member
Hi ATOT... recently lost my job and I'm looking for work again. I put together a full resume that will be stripped down based on the position I am applying for. I'll most likely be looking at Help Desk and Junior Admin positions.

If anyone is willing to take a look at my resume and give me some advice let me know and I'll send it to you in email. I appreciate any assistance with this 🙂
 
I'm so fail at that stuff I went to my universities career center to get it right. 🙁
I could always link you to my universities resume guidelines if you want them. 😛
Wait but then I could get uber stalked cause of knowing the name.... ohh hmm whatever.
 
Matthiasa said:
I'm so fail at that stuff I went to my universities career center to get it right. 🙁
Click to expand...
That's what they're there for
razz.png
 
Sheesh... I guess I'll go ahead and post it up then. And leave myself wide open to ATOT. As I mentioned before, this is the full resume... I'll be removing non applicable parts per the job.

Objective
A position where a strong background in troubleshooting, diagnostics, and repair will enhance the overall efficiency of the work environment.

Qualification Summary

  • Attention to detail.
  • Solid focus on troubleshooting process.
  • Strong skills in hardware/software troubleshooting.
  • Understanding of networking concepts and implementation.
  • Able to multi-task in a Windows environment.
  • Active member of many internet based technical communities.
  • Effective speaking and writing skills.
  • Strong initiative coupled with sound judgment.
  • Adaptability to work as both a team member and team leader.
  • Ability to work with diverse people.
  • Experience with HazMat and safety equipment.
  • Capable of typing 75-80 words per minute.

Professional Experience

  • Florida Health Care Plans (October 2008 - Present)
    • Provided technical support for 900 users working both onsite and offsite.
      • Trained employees on functionality of systems.
    • Installed, maintained, and repaired local and remote desktop/laptop computers.
      • Regularly built new images for machines to allow for rapid deployment.
      • Preconfigured default profiles and Outlook configurations in images for streamlined user interface.
      • Cleaned viruses and spyware from infected PCs.
      • Diagnosed and repaired hardware issues.
    • Performed troubleshooting of network issues - Wired and Wireless.
      • Performed troubleshooting of Telecom issues.
      • Worked directly with Network and System Administrators to fully resolve issues.
      • Provided first response for network and system outage: efficiently gathered and forwarded detailed information to the proper Administrator.
    • Worked to improve the efficiency of Help Desk workflow
      • Developed basic scripts to increase the efficiency of Help Desk personnel.
      • Developed knowledge base solutions to increase response time for future issues.
      • Assisted IT management in researching new hardware and software for purchase.
    • Installed, maintained, and provided troubleshooting for local and remote printers.
    • Processed Purchase Orders and Bills for IT systems.
    • Followed and enforced HIPAA guidelines for proper PHI security.




  • Sungard Higher Education (Aug 2007 – Oct 2008)
    • Provided first tier technical support for numerous secondary education institutions.
      • Assisted faculty, staff, and students over the phone.
      • Educated users on systems functionality and usage.
      • Performed technical troubleshooting for software, hardware, and network elements.
    • Clearly and completely documented all information gathered and troubleshooting performed.
    • Determined the severity of issues and escalated accordingly.


  • Cingular Wireless/AT&T Mobility (Aug 2006 – Jun 2007)
    • Walked customers step-by-step through the proper device settings.
      • Educated customers on device and network functionality.
      • Documented the reason, steps taken, and resolution for each call.
      • Escalated unresolved issues to higher levels of support.
      • Performed troubleshooting of PDA, Smartphone, and Aircard based email, connectivity, and
    • Provided general customer service assistance.
      • Verified billing and network elements were properly configured.
      • Corrected billing features to ensure each customer’s needs were met.
    • Educated other representatives on Quality Assurance policies.


  • United States Marine Corps (Oct. 2000 – Oct. 2004)
    • Performed 24 hour security posts.
      • Recorded and/or reported suspicious activity.
      • Patrolled the parking lot and living areas.
      • Logged visitors and guests in and out.
      • Ensured area kept a neat and orderly appearance.
    • Served 12 hour security posts at the office.
      • Logged in/out and assisted visitors and guests.
      • Assured building was opened in the morning and secured at night.
      • Ensured non-authorized personnel vacated the premises.


  • Hazardous Materials and Safety Supervisor (Aug. 2002 – Oct. 2004)
    • Provided basic HazMat training to personnel.
    • Conducted daily patrols of compound.
      • Inspected HazMat storage equipment.
      • Cleaned potentially harmful spills and leaks.
      • Checked that fire hydrants were free from obstruction.
    • Patrolled and inspected safety equipment weekly.
      • Cleaned and filled eyewash stations.
      • Inspected fire extinguishers for proper pressure.


  • Vehicle Mechanic/Tester (Aug. 2001 – Oct. 2004)
    • Filled out vehicle repair and maintenance logs.
      • Entered repair information to a database.
      • Filled out detailed list of events after completion of testing.
    • Diagnosed and troubleshot mechanical, electrical, and hydraulic systems.
      • Paid careful attention to details.
    • Worked in a high security environment.
Familiarization of Systems

  • Microsoft Windows XP
  • Microsoft Windows Vista
  • Microsoft Office Word, Excel, Powerpoint 2003
  • Microsoft Office Outlook 2003
  • Symantec Ghost
  • AS/400
  • TouchWorks Practice Management
  • TouchWorks Electronic Health Records
  • Adobe Acrobat Standard/Pro
  • Internet Explorer 6.0, 7.0, 8.0
  • Mozilla Firefox
  • Google Chrome
  • Paperport 11/12
  • Citrix Metaframe
  • Cisco VPN
  • Cisco Agent/Communicator
  • Banner
  • WebCT
  • Blackboard
  • Angel

Training and Education


  • Database Management and Web/Java Programming
    • Computer Science, Valencia Community College (Jan 2005 – Dec 2006)
  • Customer Service Training
    • Cingular Wireless, Orlando FL (Aug 2006 – Sep 2006)
  • Class D Security License
    • RG Security, Orlando FL. (Jul. 2006)
  • HazMat First Responder Operator training
    • USMC, Camp Pendleton CA. (Aug. 2004)
  • Basic first aid.
    • USMC, Parris Island SC. (Nov. 2000)
    • RG Security, Orlando FL. (Jul. 2006)
  • Fundamentals of Small Unit Leadership.
    • NCO Leadership Training, Camp Pendleton CA. (April 2004)
    • Marine Corps Institute, Washington DC. (May 2002)
  • Terrorism Awareness.
    • Marine Corps Institute, Washington DC. (May 2002)
 
CanOWorms said:
You have too many bullet points on that resume. You shouldn't have so many levels of them on a resume.
Click to expand...

Its either having them tiered like that or all one big list. It is much easier to read this way imo. I could try looking at it the other way.
 
OP, do you have any certs or awards? if so, list them.

I would remove the military training stuffs <hazard materials> if I am applying for a computer job. I also don't want to list all the web browsers.
 
bobross419 said:
Its either having them tiered like that or all one big list. It is much easier to read this way imo. I could try looking at it the other way.
Click to expand...
Consider parts like this
Microsoft Windows XP
Microsoft Windows Vista
Microsoft Office Word, Excel, Powerpoint 2003
Microsoft Office Outlook 2003
Symantec Ghost
AS/400
TouchWorks Practice Management
TouchWorks Electronic Health Records
Adobe Acrobat Standard/Pro
Internet Explorer 6.0, 7.0, 8.0
Mozilla Firefox
Google Chrome
Paperport 11/12
Citrix Metaframe
Cisco VPN
Cisco Agent/Communicator
Banner
WebCT
Blackboard
Angel
Click to expand...
That could be cut back to
Microsoft Windows (XP, Vista)
Microsoft Office Suite (Word, Excel, Powerpoint 2003, Outlook 2003)
Symantec Ghost
AS/400
TouchWorks Practice Management, Electronic Health Records
Modern Browsers (IE, Firefox, Chrome)
Paperport 11/12
Citrix Metaframe
Cisco VPN, Agent/Communicator
Banner
WebCT/Blackboard
Angel
Click to expand...
But really most of those aren't even worth having on a CV. No one cares how familiar you are with Adobe Acrobat or Google Chrome. Seriously. Blackbaord and WebCT are literally the same piece of software, yet you listed both of them. Your CV screams "padding" to whoever reads it.
 
GodlessAstronomer said:
Consider parts like this
That could be cut back to
But really most of those aren't even worth having on a CV. No one cares how familiar you are with Adobe Acrobat or Google Chrome. Seriously.
Click to expand...

GA Thank you very much for a very informative post 🙂 Definitely the stuff I'm looking for as opposed to "OMG TOO MANY BLACK DOTS!"
 
Your objective sounds more like jargon than substance. What exactly does "enhance the overall efficiency of the work environment" mean?

I agree with others that you should minimize the number of bullet points - only use ones that are relevant to the particular job.
 
Shorten dramatically. No need for the "Qualification Summary", it's just fluff. For each job, put one, maybe two bullet points, that's it. Two sentences. Focus on what your job was, not on little unimportant details.

"Familiarization of Systems" should be maybe 3-4 lines. Try to get the resume down to 1 page actually. It will force you to focus on the important stuff and get rid of any fluff.
 
esun said:
Shorten dramatically. No need for the "Qualification Summary", it's just fluff. For each job, put one, maybe two bullet points, that's it. Two sentences. Focus on what your job was, not on little unimportant details.

"Familiarization of Systems" should be maybe 3-4 lines. Try to get the resume down to 1 page actually. It will force you to focus on the important stuff and get rid of any fluff.
Click to expand...

The reason for the fluff is that a recruiter I talked to at my previous company basically said that he just does a search on a resume for keywords. If they don't find them then he moves on to the next.
 
grrl said:
Your objective sounds more like jargon than substance. What exactly does "enhance the overall efficiency of the work environment" mean?

I agree with others that you should minimize the number of bullet points - only use ones that are relevant to the particular job.
Click to expand...

It is jargon... I wouldn't put it on there at all if it weren't for every fucking resume site saying you need an objective statement.
 
bobross419 said:
It is jargon... I wouldn't put it on there at all if it weren't for every fucking resume site saying you need an objective statement.
Click to expand...
The way I have always done it is to tailor the objective to the position(s) I am applying for.
It avoids awkward generalizations.
 
bobross419 said:
The reason for the fluff is that a recruiter I talked to at my previous company basically said that he just does a search on a resume for keywords. If they don't find them then he moves on to the next.
Click to expand...

But things like "Attention to detail" are not keywords even. They say effectively nothing. If in a job you had to perform detailed analysis of something, then write that. That implies attention to detail explicitly with an example. Listing arbitrary positive traits is not helpful to a recruiter. It *might* be acceptable for a cover letter, but not in the resume itself.

For example, if I were to summarize my own qualifications, I might write:

"Summary: A MSEE with experience in communications system design including software simulation and hardware implementation on FPGAs."

That tells the recruiter exactly what my qualifications are. I would not write:

"Summary: An electrical engineer with a strong work ethic, attention to detail, and the ability to multi-task."

That is just fluff. Of COURSE you think you have a strong work ethic, attention to detail, and the ability to multi-task. But that doesn't tell them anything except what you think about yourself. On the other hand, a proper summary tells them what you know about your field, not about your personality traits.
 
Familiarization of Systems? WTF. Why not call it Technical Skills like 90&#37; of the general public? I'd throw that resume straight to the trash if I saw that. I'm an HR director btw
 
bobross419 said:
It is jargon... I wouldn't put it on there at all if it weren't for every fucking resume site saying you need an objective statement.
Click to expand...

I agree that you need an objective, just make it focused and meaningful - which is often easier said than done. To mix in a bit of jargon here, explain how you hope 'to be able to employ your skill set'. It could be a simple as "A position in which I can utilize/further my experience in troubleshooting, diagnostics, and repair."

You could put a little more meat on it by targeting a specific audience - within a corporation or with end users.


bobross419 said:
The reason for the fluff is that a recruiter I talked to at my previous company basically said that he just does a search on a resume for keywords. If they don't find them then he moves on to the next.
Click to expand...

The guy sounds like a bit of dope. You can't properly scan resumes that way. Assume that a human will give at least a cursory glance at your resume.
 
@esun - Thanks very much for that. It definitely helps me clear up some confusion I had.

@sandeagle - Ya... I was trying to figure out what to call it lol. I'll probably just remove the entire section unless the position would use any of the more specialized software that I've listed. Thank you.

@jersiq & grrl - Thanks for the insights into the objective statement. I'll definitely give that a rework.
 
Alright, here is the pared down and revised version. I still don't know what the fuck to say for the Qualifications... I might just leave it out completely. I'd like to do something like esun suggested, but I can't come up with anything worthwhile right now. I'll sleep on it and see if I figure something out in the morning. Technical skills is only in there if the posting specifies any of those systems or an environment that might use them (health care or education).

Objective
A position in which I can utilize and further my experience in troubleshooting, diagnostics, and repair.

Qualification Summary

  • A strong background in troubleshooting processes working with something something something dark side.

Professional Experience

  • Florida Health Care Plans (October 2008 - Present)
    • Provided technical support for 900 users working both onsite and offsite.
    • Installed, maintained, and repaired local and remote desktop/laptop computers, printers, and network elements.


  • Sungard Higher Education (Aug 2007 – Oct 2008)
    • Provided first tier technical support and performed technical troubleshooting for software, hardware, and network elements.


  • Cingular Wireless/AT&T Mobility (Aug 2006 – Jun 2007)
    • Provided technical support for data based services for smartphones, PDAs, and aircards.


  • Hazardous Materials and Safety Supervisor (Aug. 2002 – Oct. 2004)
    • Provided basic HazMat training to personnel.
    • Conducted regular walkthroughs to ensure safety equipment was in proper working order.


  • Vehicle Mechanic/Tester (Aug. 2001 – Oct. 2004)
    • Diagnosed and troubleshot mechanical, electrical, and hydraulic systems.

Technical Skills

  • AS/400
  • TouchWorks Practice Management
  • TouchWorks Electronic Health Records
  • Banner
  • Blackboard
  • Angel

Training and Education


  • Database Management and Web/Java Programming
    • Computer Science, Valencia Community College (Jan 2005 – Dec 2006)
  • Customer Service Training
    • Cingular Wireless, Orlando FL (Aug 2006 – Sep 2006)
  • Fundamentals of Small Unit Leadership.
    • NCO Leadership Training, Camp Pendleton CA. (April 2004)
    • Marine Corps Institute, Washington DC. (May 2002)
 
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