ok so i figured out how to get it working!
i actually had to open up the box, it was a netgear card and linux was reporting it incorrectly as a 3C501.
I found some drivers but the makefile was fvcked up so i had to fix that, (which is a real treat if any of you have worked with the Makefile syntax)
then my bios was not setup correctly so i had to set up individual irqs for each of my pci cards (sound card and NIC)
now after 3 days i have successfully setup a computer with a working internet connection! <facetious>huzzah!</facetious>
PS: I really do appreciate all the help you guys gave me, it led me on some interesting paths which helped me eventually resolve my problem.