You aren't alone. Memory for a P4 DDR rig is not an easy thing. The best thing is to start with your FSB speed and work back (if possible).
For you, you run a 266 MHz FSB speed. Is this the limit of your CPU, or is memory holding you back?
Assuming 266 is where you will stay, you can work the numbers from there.
266 MHz FSB 1:1 ratio = DDR532
266 MHz FSB 5:4 ratio = DDR426
To use DDR532, use need some very expensive ram, and you will also be stuck with loose mem timings.
DDR426, can use tighter timings. Testing has shown that the tight timings with the lower DDR speed is as fast or faster than the high speed DDR with the loose timings.
It is hard to find ram these days that will do tight timings. Ram mfgrs have tuned their mem for high DDR speeds and slow timings. The "bigger" number such as PC4000 sells even though it is not all it is cracked up to be.
The best deal I see out there right now is the Mushkin PC3500 L2 1 Gig (2 x 512) @ Newegg for $289. This was ~$350 a short time ago. This ram will run tight timings. How tight on your rig is hard to say for sure. It will do much better than 3-4-4-8 for sure. This ram was reviewed on the main page not too long ago and is highly rated.
Anandtech review
HTH
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