Real life aircraft maintenance gripes (Brought to you by Brutuskend)


Apr 2, 2001
As a Ex Aircraft Mechanic and Plane Captain (the guy that preflights aircraft) I can appreciate these!! ;)

After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the
aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Quantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers.
(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)

(S = The solution and action taken by the mechanics.)

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.

S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.

S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.

S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from midget.



Jun 10, 2000
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from midget.



Diamond Member
Apr 6, 2002
Originally posted by: Brutuskend
Originally posted by: KingNothing
Yeah, this has never been posted before. Nevar evar.

Yeah yeah yeah.

<---Mr. Short Term Memory Loss

You posted in Descartes' thread where he posted this. ;) Admittedly, the thread is archived.


Aug 1, 2002
Another 1 for U guys and gals ... sorry for the slow addition but was without power for 3 days dues to Isabel

P: IFF doesnot work

S: IFF is not supposed to work in OFF mode