rape culture in nursing homes!

waggy

No Lifer
Dec 14, 2000
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http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2014-12-09/rape-case-asks-if-wife-with-dementia-can-say-yes-to-her-husband.html

More than 350 people attended the wedding reception of Donna Lou Young and Henry V. Rayhons in Duncan, Iowa, on Dec. 15, 2007. Family and friends ate pork roast and danced polkas to celebrate the union of a widow and a widower, both in their 70s, who had found unexpected love after the deaths of their long-time spouses.

For the next six-and-a-half years, Henry and Donna Rayhons were inseparable. She sat near him in the state House chamber while he worked as a Republican legislator. He helped with her beekeeping. She rode alongside him in a combine as he harvested corn and soybeans on his 700 acres in northern Iowa. They sang in the choir at Sunday Mass.

“We just loved being together,” Henry Rayhons says.

Today, he’s awaiting trial on a felony charge that he raped Donna at a nursing home where she was living. The Iowa Attorney General’s office says Rayhons had intercourse with his wife when she lacked the mental capacity to consent because she had Alzheimer’s. She died on Aug. 8, four days short of her 79th birthday, of complications from the disease. One week later, Rayhons, 78, was arrested. He pleaded not guilty.

/snip its a long article.


really fucking retarded. This man did NOT rape his wife. total waste of fucking money. i hope when it gets to court its thrown out (it wont be). such a sad story.
 

Newell Steamer

Diamond Member
Jan 27, 2014
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Two of Donna’s three daughters played a role in Rayhons’ investigation.

Looks like her daughters didn't like this guy.

In regards to it being rape or not,.. I would say no,.. unless there were actual complaints from the woman.

Nonetheless,..
Experts in geriatrics say that intimacy -- from a hug to a massage to intercourse -- can make dementia sufferers feel less lonely and even prolong their lives.
 

Jaskalas

Lifer
Jun 23, 2004
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State is hungry for crime. Some happy DA to gets to pad the resume for his next job with a long list of sex offenders behind bars.
 

dainthomas

Lifer
Dec 7, 2004
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Daughters sound like bitches. The woman obviously knew he was her husband and loved him until the end.
 

Subyman

Moderator <br> VC&G Forum
Mar 18, 2005
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What a weird story. I really can't conjure an opinion on this. So weird.
 
Dec 11, 2014
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Well obviously he is guilty. Because women are always victims. And women are always right /s (I'm speaking of the daughters, of course)

Now you know why I wait until actual proof comes along to support the allegations. Nevertheless, this whole situation is blatantly pathetic.
 
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zanejohnson

Diamond Member
Nov 29, 2002
7,054
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i've heard lots of stories from a friend that works in a nursing home about lots of old people 3 ways and such lol..
apparently nursing homes are basically a giant orgy for old folks..
 
Nov 25, 2013
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Does anyone here understand what Alzheimer’s is? Does anyone here understand the meaning of the word consent?
 

Exophase

Diamond Member
Apr 19, 2012
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These accusations are sick. Some people clearly don't care about protecting anyone, they just need to find something to be outraged over and something to punish people for.

This is the same religious moralizing legalism that we've worked long and hard to get out of our actual laws.
 

kage69

Lifer
Jul 17, 2003
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This has disgruntled daughters written all over it. I listened to an NPR interview with a elderly care director, quite the eye opener. They talked about Justice O'Connor's husband as well as cases like the one in the OP. He said something like to him this wasn't an issue about if old people can or should be having sex, more like an issue of 'how can they have the most sex possible?' Has a big impact on the wellbeing of the elderly, as much as we'd all just prefer not even to think about it.
 
Nov 25, 2013
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These accusations are sick. Some people clearly don't care about protecting anyone, they just need to find something to be outraged over and something to punish people for.

This is the same religious moralizing legalism that we've worked long and hard to get out of our actual laws.

Again I ask, do you understand what Alzheimer’s is? Do you understand the meaning of the word consent?
 

Dannar26

Senior member
Mar 13, 2012
754
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Everything is rape these days.

What's acceptable behavior for men concerning women these days? Adjust your head to the shame position, don't make eye contact, and apologize for existing.

Society is clearly bettered.
 

BoberFett

Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
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LOL, leave it to Victorian Gray to say that entire classes of people can no longer choose to have sex.

Victorian Gray: Taking away the rights of the disabled, one right at a time.
 
Nov 25, 2013
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LOL, leave it to Victorian Gray to say that entire classes of people can no longer choose to have sex.

Victorian Gray: Taking away the rights of the disabled, one right at a time.

So you are in favour of a husband having sex with his wife when she doesn't even know who he is and is mentally incapable of giving informed consent.

What a nice fellow you are.
 

TheVrolok

Lifer
Dec 11, 2000
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You think it proper for a husband to have sex with his wife when she's mentally incapable of giving informed consent?
You think every patient who carries a diagnosis of Alzheimers disease should ever after be unable to consent? And further.. should then, of course, be ever after unable to have consensual sex?

This is not to even delve into the quagmire that is "informed consent." not to even mention that one doesn't obtain informed consent for sex...
 
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Nov 25, 2013
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You think every patient who carries a diagnosis of Alzheimers disease should ever after be unable to consent? And further.. should then, of course, be ever after unable to have consensual sex?

This is not to even delve into the quagmire that is "informed consent."

I suppose it should depend on how far along someone is. In this case from what I've read she was pretty far gone most of the time although she seemed to be somewhat cognizant of things at times. It's not an easy case.

btw, she died a few months later.
 

shira

Diamond Member
Jan 12, 2005
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"In a moment of clarity, my wife said she wanted us to make love."

The husband's suggested testimony.
 

TheVrolok

Lifer
Dec 11, 2000
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I suppose it should depend on how far along someone is. In this case from what I've read she was pretty far gone most of the time although she seemed to be somewhat cognizant of things at times. It's not an easy case.

btw, she died a few months later.
That's a pretty big step back from the black and white point you were previously suggesting.