rape culture in nursing homes!

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Nov 25, 2013
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That's a pretty big step back from the black and white point you were previously suggesting.

Which point was that? That someone should be mentally competent enough to be able to understand what they're doing before their spouse has sex with them?

Yea, I suppose that's pretty black and white.
 

TheVrolok

Lifer
Dec 11, 2000
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Which point was that? That someone should be mentally competent enough to be able to understand what they're doing before their spouse has sex with them?

Yea, I suppose that's pretty black and white.

lol, you started out implying it was black and white, then back pedaled into it being a grey area, and now are back to saying it's black and white ... all within a few posts? Please. Oh, you're trying to change context to make yourself correct, ha.
 
Nov 25, 2013
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lol, you started out implying it was black and white, then back pedaled into it being a grey area, and now are back to saying it's black and white ... all within a few posts? Please. Oh, you're trying to change context to make yourself correct, ha.

It *is* black and white. Your spouse (or anyone else of legal age you want to have sex with) is mentally incapable of giving informed consent? Then you don't have sex with them.

In this particular case it appears that both her medical caregivers and the legal system had determined that she was mentally incapable of granting consent. Husband ignored that determination. He now gets to pay whatever price is determined to be legally appropriate.

Seems pretty straightforward to me.
 

TheVrolok

Lifer
Dec 11, 2000
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It *is* black and white. Your spouse (or anyone else of legal age you want to have sex with) is mentally incapable of giving informed consent? Then you don't have sex with them.

In this particular case it appears that both her medical caregivers and the legal system had determined that she was mentally incapable of granting consent. Husband ignored that determination. He now gets to pay whatever price is determined to be legally appropriate.

Seems pretty straightforward to me.

You think every patient who carries a diagnosis of Alzheimers disease should ever after be unable to consent? And further.. should then, of course, be ever after unable to have consensual sex?

This is not to even delve into the quagmire that is "informed consent." not to even mention that one doesn't obtain informed consent for sex...
 
Nov 25, 2013
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You're twisted.

That's the issue at hand so what's your problem?

The man's wife was judged, medically and legally, mentally incompetent due to her illness. Husband apparently didn't care. Now he has to pay the legally determined price for his actions.
 
Nov 25, 2013
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You think every patient who carries a diagnosis of Alzheimers disease should ever after be unable to consent? And further.. should then, of course, be ever after unable to have consensual sex?

This is not to even delve into the quagmire that is "informed consent." not to even mention that one doesn't obtain informed consent for sex...

Think whatever you want. Have fun.
 
Nov 25, 2013
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Same question. Different answers. I think you're full of it. :rolleyes:

yawning__1220901657_91071.jpg
 

sao123

Lifer
May 27, 2002
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You think it proper for a husband to have sex with his wife when she's mentally incapable of giving informed consent?


I'm pretty sure the marriage vow says until death do us part.
not until... the government/daughters thinks shes mentally unfit.


Wow... what terrible intrusive interfering daughters.
 
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sandorski

No Lifer
Oct 10, 1999
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I'm pretty sure the marriage vow says until death do us part.
not until... the government/daughters thinks shes mentally unfit.


Wow... what terrible intrusive interfering daughters.

The vows say she has to put out regardless of circumstance until she's dead?
 

shira

Diamond Member
Jan 12, 2005
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That's the issue at hand so what's your problem?

The man's wife was judged, medically and legally, mentally incompetent due to her illness. Husband apparently didn't care. Now he has to pay the legally determined price for his actions.

So you've already tried and convicted this man? Classy.
 

BoberFett

Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
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The vows say she has to put out regardless of circumstance until she's dead?

And you think some people can never be allowed to ever put out. How nice of you to use the government to control people's sex lives. You and Dicktorian Gray are no better than the Religious Right.
 

sandorski

No Lifer
Oct 10, 1999
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And you think some people can never be allowed to ever put out. How nice of you to use the government to control people's sex lives. You and Dicktorian Gray are no better than the Religious Right.

I wonder if you will ever comprehend how ridiculous that statement is? :hmm:
 
Nov 25, 2013
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So you've already tried and convicted this man? Classy.

Poorly worded on my part. I was under the impression that the trial had already happened. He's awaiting trial and the court will determine his penalty. Or, it may determine there is no penalty to pay.
 

hal2kilo

Lifer
Feb 24, 2009
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Again I ask, do you understand what Alzheimer’s is? Do you understand the meaning of the word consent?

This is anything but the black and white choices you seen to think it is.

And yes, I'm sadly well informed on the effects of Alzheimer's. My mother passed away from it 4 years ago.
 
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Blue_Max

Diamond Member
Jul 7, 2011
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You're twisted.

That's what feminism is all about. :rolleyes: Shift all responsibility, blame and punishment to the MALE side of the table, all goodies to her side.

We don't live in a rape culture, we DO live in a Rape ACCUSATION Culture.
 

sao123

Lifer
May 27, 2002
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The vows say she has to put out regardless of circumstance until she's dead?

nothing ive read states she was unwilling - forced - or coerced...
she has every right to say no -- AND yes.

specifically I take issue with the ruling that she no longer has the right to affirmatively consent.

She may not have proper memory... but she isn't a comatose vegetable.
 

Subyman

Moderator <br> VC&G Forum
Mar 18, 2005
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And you think some people can never be allowed to ever put out. How nice of you to use the government to control people's sex lives. You and Dicktorian Gray are no better than the Religious Right.

My grandmother died of Alzheimers, so I am completely aware of the slow decline someone can have. In the end, people with Alzheimers can get very fearful and scared. Not a jump scare like we have and then we can be rational and push it down. They get completely terrified, holistically. Even laying them back from a sitting up position can terrify them, to them it may feel like they are falling and don't understand.

It is for this reason that I don't think anyone on this forum can properly make an informed decision on this story. We do not know the lady. We do not know the man. It may have been a lovely story right out of a Nicholas Sparks book or it may be a terrible tragedy. Some family members have cause for concern and the courts will decide.
 

sandorski

No Lifer
Oct 10, 1999
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nothing ive read states she was unwilling - forced - or coerced...
she has every right to say no -- AND yes.

specifically I take issue with the ruling that she no longer has the right to affirmatively consent.

She may not have proper memory... but she isn't a comatose vegetable.

You don't think that the ruling has considered multiple factors of it and that your distant judgement of the situation is better?