Rant: OMFG STUPID USERS

[EyeMWing]

How much more blatant do I have to be when I tell you this: When Windows pops up telling you that an update is available, FVCKING DOWNLOAD AND INSTALL IT! REBOOT WHEN IT TELLS YOU TO!!!

Do not attempt to tell me you didn't download a virus - you're still equally responsible for my having to de-worm your machine, which is the equivalent to sticking your hand up a horse's butt.

Do not attempt to convince me that it never told you an update is available - I set it MYSELF to prompt you when new updates are available.

Do not tell me I should've made it do it automatically. I set it to prompt you for convenience - if you're in the middle of an online gaming match, you don't want it downloading. But that's no excuse not to do it EVER.

Furthermore, do not question whether or not I need your password to logon to the machine for diagnostic purposes. However slick my custom login screen may be, it does not assist me in any way, shape, or form.

This is doubly true for Windows 2000 users - I may even need *gasp* YOUR USERNAME!!! (I lock my clients out of the Administrator user so I can have a last-ditch way in, but I don't want to have to look up the password I used for your particular machine)

Do not get angry at me when I get frustrated with your continuing stupidity and delete your entire anime pr0n collection by reformatting your computer. It's your f'n fault.

Your savegames? Oh, they're right there next to your anime porn.

Your Britney Spears MP3s? Sorry bud, but if you keep this up, I'm gonna call the RIAA, mmkaye?

And no - I will not reinstall your warez for you. I will reinstall everything that I put on the computer the first time - my standard Windows setup with some basic utilities.

No, unless your computer was set up like that initially, I will not create seperate partitions for your data, OS, and apps. This is because your average computer user cannot fathom why C:\Program Files\Photoshop isn't there, and if you think you can handle that concept, you can also handle taking that Windows unattended install CD I gave you and reinstalling the thing with the partitions set up any way you damn well please.

Oh, and yes, that'll be $50.







Thanks guys, half day at school, and my customer the second half of the day made me want to be in class. Now I come home and my idiot brother has a worm.

 

[Regs]

O sheit, another disturbed IT employee.

*Puts on his flack jacket and helmet

 

[SaltBoy]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

 

[iwearnosox]

Hey, it's Nick Burns!

 

[new2AMD]

LOL@Nick Burns

 

[PlatinumGold]

hmmmm, wonders if you would have a job without stupid users.

 

[Looney]

whine whine whine. It's your job, if you can't handle the responsibility or stress, go back to McDonald's.

 

[DnetMHZ]

Originally posted by: iwearnosox
Hey, it's Nick Burns!

MOOOVE!!

 

[PlatinumGold]

I find STUPID @ss CSR's and Helpdesk People WAYYY more annoying. AFTER ALL, IT IS THEIR FVCKING JOB. what's their EXCUSE??

 

[K1052]

It is the BOFH!

 

[Chadder007]

/ yourself.



j/k of course....i help support over 1600 users myself at a Medical Center. There is only 3 of us that work as Help Desk techs. Ive seen worse users.

 

[K1052]

"Um...is the computer this TV-looking thingy here?"

 

[Barnaby W. Füi]

Hah, your fault for volunteering yourself to babysit windows lusers.

 

[wyvrn]

I love cleaning up fubared machines. The longer it takes, the more I make. If they don't want to pay me, I don't touch their computer. I earned my computer knowledge, and if these idiots don't want to pay me, they can take some f'ing free computer classes at the library and stop screwing up their machine.

 

[rh71]

Someone shoot me about 5 times in the head if I ever have to do troubleshooting as a professional job. I have absolute zero patience.

 

[EyeMWing]

Originally posted by: wyvrn
I love cleaning up fubared machines. The longer it takes, the more I make. If they don't want to pay me, I don't touch their computer. I earned my computer knowledge, and if these idiots don't want to pay me, they can take some f'ing free computer classes at the library and stop screwing up their machine.

I spend 2-3 hours a day working free for my school's A/V lab. They would pay me, but I refuse, simply because it's excellent experience, nothing really goes wrong, and *GASP* THEY FOLLOW MY INSTRUCTIONS!

300 users - 44 machines, 4 OS' (2k, XP, 98, OSX) - I've had to reformat machines a total of three times over the past 2.25 years. Two of those were the same pesky Win98 box, which experiences the random "I don't feel like working anymore" glitch. Not to say I havn't done it more - but that was just in the name of software upgrades and resetting after the school year. Yet a few of people that I've sold machines to end up fvcking their stuff over in less time than it took me to build the install for their machine in the first place.

 

[Barnaby W. Füi]

Originally posted by: rh71
Someone shoot me about 5 times in the head if I ever have to do troubleshooting as a professional job. I have absolute zero patience.

hear hear!

 

[TMPadmin]

Sounds like you are in the wrong business. If you think being tech support is testing you should try IT Manager. The entire company President right down to receptionist think they know your job better than you. Everyone thinks they are your boss too. You are just there for them to Pee on. Well get used to it or you will burn out before you make it in IT. Quit your RANTing, whining, crying and suck it up!

Or may I suggest a nice position punching metal? They make good money and you don't have to deal with "users". Union too so you can't get fired.

I would like to see what would happen to a typical Mac user when the happy face turns upside down. Panic will set in and they will probably just go buy a new one.

 

[Mookow]

Originally posted by: PlatinumGold
I find STUPID @ss CSR's and Helpdesk People WAYYY more annoying. AFTER ALL, IT IS THEIR FVCKING JOB. what's their EXCUSE??

Excuse for what? The only excuse 90% of users with problems can give you for their problems is "I'm a complete retard"

Case in point: there is a woman working at my university, lets call her "brenda". Brenda is a secretary. Brenda has a P4 2.2 with 256MB RAM, running Win2K. Brenda's computer is "too slow". Again, lets repeat, Brenda is a secretary. The most CPU intensive program she needs to be able to run is PowerPoint. So, why is Brenda's computer too slow? Let me make a short list of the stuff you can see at the bottom right corner of her screen:
-Gator
-weatherbug
-webshots
-realplayer
-Kazaa
-Morpheus
-computer date/time accurizer (not the actual name, but close)
-etc

Basically, she has ~15-20 items hogging up memory. We remove them. Her computer gets a lot, lot faster. A week later, her computer is slow again...

Also, her computer "loses" files. Usually when she copies them from the network, or her floppy drive. She knows her computer is defective and needs replacing, because it says "the file xxxxx.xxx points to cannot be found"... because after "copying" it, she deleted the original.

And lets not forget the classic "I need a new computer because mine messed up a print job". She had 30 pages that needed printing, her computer tried to print 1200, the last 1170 of which were blank. Want to guess why? Because she had a document with, you guessed it, 30 pages of text followed by 1170 blank pages.


We get weekly, if not more frequent, calls from her, all of which conclude with "I need a new, faster PC". We are almost ready to cave and give her a new PC, just as soon as we can get our hands on a 286.

 

[TMPadmin]

Originally posted by: Mookow

Originally posted by: PlatinumGold
I find STUPID @ss CSR's and Helpdesk People WAYYY more annoying. AFTER ALL, IT IS THEIR FVCKING JOB. what's their EXCUSE??

Excuse for what? The only excuse 90% of users with problems can give you for their problems is "I'm a complete retard"

Case in point: there is a woman working at my university, lets call her "brenda". Brenda is a secretary. Brenda has a P4 2.2 with 256MB RAM, running Win2K. Brenda's computer is "too slow". Again, lets repeat, Brenda is a secretary. The most CPU intensive program she needs to be able to run is PowerPoint. So, why is Brenda's computer too slow? Let me make a short list of the stuff you can see at the bottom right corner of her screen:
-Gator
-weatherbug
-webshots
-realplayer
-Kazaa
-Morpheus
-computer date/time accurizer (not the actual name, but close)
-etc

Basically, she has ~15-20 items hogging up memory. We remove them. Her computer gets a lot, lot faster. A week later, her computer is slow again...

Also, her computer "loses" files. Usually when she copies them from the network, or her floppy drive. She knows her computer is defective and needs replacing, because it says "the file xxxxx.xxx points to cannot be found"... because after "copying" it, she deleted the original.

And lets not forget the classic "I need a new computer because mine messed up a print job". She had 30 pages that needed printing, her computer tried to print 1200, the last 1170 of which were blank. Want to guess why? Because she had a document with, you guessed it, 30 pages of text followed by 1170 blank pages.


We get weekly, if not more frequent, calls from her, all of which conclude with "I need a new, faster PC". We are almost ready to cave and give her a new PC, just as soon as we can get our hands on a 286.

Policies man Policies!!! My users installed weather bug once. I put an end to all that right away when I took over. Policies!

 

[PlatinumGold]

Originally posted by: TMPadmin

Originally posted by: Mookow

Originally posted by: PlatinumGold
I find STUPID @ss CSR's and Helpdesk People WAYYY more annoying. AFTER ALL, IT IS THEIR FVCKING JOB. what's their EXCUSE??

Excuse for what? The only excuse 90% of users with problems can give you for their problems is "I'm a complete retard"

Case in point: there is a woman working at my university, lets call her "brenda". Brenda is a secretary. Brenda has a P4 2.2 with 256MB RAM, running Win2K. Brenda's computer is "too slow". Again, lets repeat, Brenda is a secretary. The most CPU intensive program she needs to be able to run is PowerPoint. So, why is Brenda's computer too slow? Let me make a short list of the stuff you can see at the bottom right corner of her screen:
-Gator
-weatherbug
-webshots
-realplayer
-Kazaa
-Morpheus
-computer date/time accurizer (not the actual name, but close)
-etc

Basically, she has ~15-20 items hogging up memory. We remove them. Her computer gets a lot, lot faster. A week later, her computer is slow again...

Also, her computer "loses" files. Usually when she copies them from the network, or her floppy drive. She knows her computer is defective and needs replacing, because it says "the file xxxxx.xxx points to cannot be found"... because after "copying" it, she deleted the original.

And lets not forget the classic "I need a new computer because mine messed up a print job". She had 30 pages that needed printing, her computer tried to print 1200, the last 1170 of which were blank. Want to guess why? Because she had a document with, you guessed it, 30 pages of text followed by 1170 blank pages.


We get weekly, if not more frequent, calls from her, all of which conclude with "I need a new, faster PC". We are almost ready to cave and give her a new PC, just as soon as we can get our hands on a 286.

Policies man Policies!!! My users installed weather bug once. I put an end to all that right away when I took over. Policies!

EXACTLY.

I do support for a living. i encounter users ALL the time. but IT'S MY JOB. that's WHAT THEY PAY me to do, make sure their systems work.

personally, i have more problems dealing with CSR's and Helpdesk people for other products than i do with "stupid" users.

.

users PAY me to give them support, CSR's and HelpDesk people are PAID to give me support, WHO SHOULD I EXPECT MORE FROM??

 

[EyeMWing]

Originally posted by: TMPadmin

Originally posted by: Mookow

Originally posted by: PlatinumGold
I find STUPID @ss CSR's and Helpdesk People WAYYY more annoying. AFTER ALL, IT IS THEIR FVCKING JOB. what's their EXCUSE??

Excuse for what? The only excuse 90% of users with problems can give you for their problems is "I'm a complete retard"

Case in point: there is a woman working at my university, lets call her "brenda". Brenda is a secretary. Brenda has a P4 2.2 with 256MB RAM, running Win2K. Brenda's computer is "too slow". Again, lets repeat, Brenda is a secretary. The most CPU intensive program she needs to be able to run is PowerPoint. So, why is Brenda's computer too slow? Let me make a short list of the stuff you can see at the bottom right corner of her screen:
-Gator
-weatherbug
-webshots
-realplayer
-Kazaa
-Morpheus
-computer date/time accurizer (not the actual name, but close)
-etc

Basically, she has ~15-20 items hogging up memory. We remove them. Her computer gets a lot, lot faster. A week later, her computer is slow again...

Also, her computer "loses" files. Usually when she copies them from the network, or her floppy drive. She knows her computer is defective and needs replacing, because it says "the file xxxxx.xxx points to cannot be found"... because after "copying" it, she deleted the original.

And lets not forget the classic "I need a new computer because mine messed up a print job". She had 30 pages that needed printing, her computer tried to print 1200, the last 1170 of which were blank. Want to guess why? Because she had a document with, you guessed it, 30 pages of text followed by 1170 blank pages.


We get weekly, if not more frequent, calls from her, all of which conclude with "I need a new, faster PC". We are almost ready to cave and give her a new PC, just as soon as we can get our hands on a 286.

Policies man Policies!!! My users installed weather bug once. I put an end to all that right away when I took over. Policies!

Policies which deal with requests to Human Resources for new employees because they compromised security? Half the crap that goes on in office computers is the virtual equivalent to putting a doorstop in a security door.

 

[Mookow]

Originally posted by: TMPadmin

Originally posted by: Mookow
Policies man Policies!!! My users installed weather bug once. I put an end to all that right away when I took over. Policies!

I'm a student tech. Do you really think that I have any influence over that sort of thing? And there has been rampant criticism of our boss's boss, who seems to think decisive leadership is ordering some of the pizzas with pepperoni rather than all cheese when the company springs for pizza (usually, right before screwing us over on something).

Luckily, I'm out of helpdesk tech, and am now a network tech. Which means I dont have to talk to the idiots anymore... or, at least, I dont have to talk to as many of them.

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: EyeMWing
How much more blatant do I have to be when I tell you this: When Windows pops up telling you that an update is available, FVCKING DOWNLOAD AND INSTALL IT! REBOOT WHEN IT TELLS YOU TO!!!

Do not attempt to tell me you didn't download a virus - you're still equally responsible for my having to de-worm your machine, which is the equivalent to sticking your hand up a horse's butt.

Now what do you tell them with the window that popped up from some non-windows site they stumbled upon said "IMPORTANT WINDOWS UPDATE AVAILABLE!!!!" and clicking on that downloaded the virus?

 

[Looney]

Originally posted by: Mookow

Originally posted by: PlatinumGold
I find STUPID @ss CSR's and Helpdesk People WAYYY more annoying. AFTER ALL, IT IS THEIR FVCKING JOB. what's their EXCUSE??

Excuse for what? The only excuse 90% of users with problems can give you for their problems is "I'm a complete retard"

Case in point: there is a woman working at my university, lets call her "brenda". Brenda is a secretary. Brenda has a P4 2.2 with 256MB RAM, running Win2K. Brenda's computer is "too slow". Again, lets repeat, Brenda is a secretary. The most CPU intensive program she needs to be able to run is PowerPoint. So, why is Brenda's computer too slow? Let me make a short list of the stuff you can see at the bottom right corner of her screen:
-Gator
-weatherbug
-webshots
-realplayer
-Kazaa
-Morpheus
-computer date/time accurizer (not the actual name, but close)
-etc

Basically, she has ~15-20 items hogging up memory. We remove them. Her computer gets a lot, lot faster. A week later, her computer is slow again...

Also, her computer "loses" files. Usually when she copies them from the network, or her floppy drive. She knows her computer is defective and needs replacing, because it says "the file xxxxx.xxx points to cannot be found"... because after "copying" it, she deleted the original.

And lets not forget the classic "I need a new computer because mine messed up a print job". She had 30 pages that needed printing, her computer tried to print 1200, the last 1170 of which were blank. Want to guess why? Because she had a document with, you guessed it, 30 pages of text followed by 1170 blank pages.


We get weekly, if not more frequent, calls from her, all of which conclude with "I need a new, faster PC". We are almost ready to cave and give her a new PC, just as soon as we can get our hands on a 286.

One thing i've learned from being tech support, is to let the user 'fix' their own computer. If the user says her computer is slow, sit down beside her, but let her perform the functions. Have her remove her own programs, and then she'll see the differences that SHE did. That way she understands that she created the problem, and she can rectify it herself.

The same thing with the copying of files... show her what's she's doing, and let her see the errors she's causing. Then show her the proper way.

Instead of just rolling your eyes, cursing at her under your breath, and trying to get things done quickly so you can go back to your office or cubicle, take a little more time with them. Not only would you help yourself in the long run, but they'll learn what they did, AND feel better about it.