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RANT: I'll be a college boy who still lives with his mommy

Q

QueHuong

Platinum Member
I'll be going to the University of Cincinnati next year, which is a 20 minutes drive away. My parents are adamently against me living on campus - to explain why they're so strict and overprotective, it's because they're Asians. They hear a couple of stories from family and [Asian] friends about how their kids lived on campus and started getting awful grades; so my parents automatically assume that would be true of me. My strict Catholic parents are afraid that I won't be going to church every week (even if I live at home, I'll still make excuses to not go so that's a futile concern), afraid that with no vigil supervision, I won't be doing homework studiously, that I'll engage in "immoral" activities (even if I live at home, I'll still find a way to stay the night at my gf's dorm so that's another futile concern), and that I won't be home to watch my sister so she can't bring guys over. And they're worried about the cost. But then again, I did get a scholarship which pays for tuition, fees, and a $1050 stipend plus another scholarship for $1500. So college expenses won't be too unbearable because of those scholarships; whereas before I got the scholarship, they agreed I could go to Purdue and pay room and board + out of state tuition. So I don't understand how they're not grateful they won't be paying nearly as much if I go to UC and dorm there, and plus, the extra for room adn board would probably be going out of my student loans so at most, they will be only paying $2000 a year. They did agree I can live on campus the 2nd year but that's not good enough:

The people living on campus make more friends and they hang out with those friends the next year. If I live on campus during my sophomore year, it'll be harder to make friends. My parents ignore or make some pathetic reason to dismiss the fact that students living on campus have better academic records, enjoy college more, and are able to be more involved in extracurriculars (which studies also students with a lot of activities, not too much though, do better in school). They also don't realize that I if I live in a dorm my first year, I can adjust to being on my own and still have some room to mess up a little (for one scholarship, I need a 2.5 gpa first year, 3.0 afterwards) whereas if I live in a dorm my second year, I'll have to adjust to the freedom and maintain a much more difficult 3.0 gpa.

And get this, my mom still wants me to live at home until I graduate. Really...how the hell am I going to develop the needed social skills, experience, and job connections that most dorming students have if I just live at home with my parents. Christ...they're just so goddamn overprotective and controlling. If next year, I just drive my ass to school, study, drive home and study, I'll get burned out so quickly - college will be such a bore and I won't have the motivation to continue learning. ARGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. :disgust:
 


<< If next year, I just drive my ass to school, study, drive home and study, I'll get burned out so quickly - college will be such a bore and I won't have the motivation to continue learning. ARGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
>>



oh poor baby, he has to drive to work. i guess when u finish college and get to the real world, ur gonna dorm where you work to huh?
 
Damn boh you gettin the shaft! That's why I was smart enough to start breaking the chains of my rents early...so that I wouldn't have to live with my rents 😉
You COULD always get a job and pay your way for a dorm, since it seems like your tuition is covered, and all your cash money would be going to is room and board, and beer 😛
 
Wow, that really sucks for you. Just explain to them how one of the major advantages of living in a dorm is getting to grow up as a person and learn to live on your own. It's obviously something you're going to need in life, and you can't really do it living at home.
 
Enjoy the luxuries of home. You won't be missing much.

If you want to meet people, just be sociable in class, labs, and such. Try out for intramural sports or join clubs or something. You don't need the dorm life to make friends and have a good time.
 
maybe go to a different school?

i was sorta like in your situation. i live in sandiego so if i went to UCSD, my parents would have gotten me a new car and i would have to commute. but since i chose UC Irvine instead, exactly 100 miles from where i live, they let me live in the dorms. i didnt get a new car but just used the car i had for high school. however when 2nd year came around, i still got to live oncampus and eventually they bought me a new car before 2nd year started.
 


<< Room and board for $2000 a year? >>



No, I meant with the stipend of one scholarship, and the $1500 of another, I can apply that to room and board..that would leave about $4000 a year and at least half of that can be paid for by student loans.




<< oh poor baby, he has to drive to work. i guess when u finish college and get to the real world, ur gonna dorm where you work to huh? >>



hi dumbass, you missed my point, which I'm not surprise. Living on campus would get me a taste of that "real world" you're babbling incoherently about, as opposed to living with my parents. Dumbass (that needs to be reiterated).



<< You COULD always get a job and pay your way for a dorm >>



What my parents are really concerned about is how I'll be on my own and they won't be able to watch over me. I can take responsibility for all of room and board with student loans but they still wouldn't let me live away from home. I'm 17 so they can legally tell me what to do.
 
you know, i'd be glad to live at home. i'd be saving myself 3k/yr in loans i'd have to pay later 🙁 ideally i'd want an apartment or house.. w/ only max one roommate.. i'm somewhat of a neat freak about living space (but not about my computer desk 😛) and well, being in college i'm one of the few...
 
i live at home, and i like it. while my coworkers gripe about having to pay rent and crap, i can buy just about any toy i want 🙂
 


<< << oh poor baby, he has to drive to work. i guess when u finish college and get to the real world, ur gonna dorm where you work to huh? >>



hi dumbass, you missed my point, which I'm not surprise. Living on campus would get me a taste of that "real world" you're babbling incoherently about, as opposed to living with my parents. Dumbass (that needs to be reiterated). >>



oh poor baby. also seems to have a limited vocabulary. living with mommy and all.
 
I think it really depends on what time of person you are. I just refer to maslow's hierarchy of needs. Food, Shelter, and clothing. When you live at the dorms, food sucks, and your shelter sucks. So 2/3 of your basic needs are hardly being met. You gain weight, you sleep less. It's just not a healthy environment.
 
You sound petulant.

As long as your mommy and daddy are paying anything towards your education they have a say in how you live your life.

If you want to live your life as you see fit, then get a job and pay your own way through college. Don't ask your parents to donate a penny. This way, you can live in a dorm or apartment and prove to them that you are a self-sufficient man/woman.

BTW, would like some whine with your cheese?
 
i agree, if you can pay for it yourself then doesn't matter what they say, if they'r epaying for it, you're SOL
 


<<
oh poor baby. also seems to have a limited vocabulary. living with mommy and all. >>



With all your bullsh!tting, you have yet to make a point...again, DUMBASS. If you want me further address what you have to say (which isn't much), then make a valid point. Otherwise, you'll still be a little turd who just wants to flame someone online so you can feel better at being a loser status in real life.




<< You sound petulant.

As long as your mommy and daddy are paying anything towards your education they have a say in how you live your life. >>



I agree that my parents have some say-so in the matter but you seem to forget I earned those scholarships, which pays for MOST of my college expenses, i.e. I should have a greater say in what I do...considering college is also about living on your own. And keep in mind that I'm willing to pay or take out loans for the $4000 that's not paid for by my scholarships. The real issue is that my parents are unwilling to let their first born live on his own because they're overprotective.




Just talked to my dad...he said to do whatever I want, and that if I falter, it won't be anyone else's fault but mine. And I will take full responsibility. But at the same time, he made me feel guilty about not obeying him. However, I still think living on my own is more beneficial. So now I gotta go convince my mom next.
 
I live at home and comute to Rutgers here in NJ

I also lived in the dorms for one semester. Dorms suck.

Worst food.

and I didn't really meet anyone I wanted to hang out with.
 
wouldnt trade the experience of living in a dorm for anything in the world.

hell you're that age once and its definitely something else to have all this incredible FREEDOM. Its amazing, sometimes I had so much time and freedom that I didnt know what to do with it. 😉


just take a loan and pay it back after you get out of school.
I loaned my whole way through college without a problem. 😀
 


<< You sound petulant.

As long as your mommy and daddy are paying anything towards your education they have a say in how you live your life.

If you want to live your life as you see fit, then get a job and pay your own way through college. Don't ask your parents to donate a penny. This way, you can live in a dorm or apartment and prove to them that you are a self-sufficient man/woman.

BTW, would like some whine with your cheese? >>



I believe that would be cheese with your whine, but I'm not an expert on these things. 😉
 
mindstorm, i know how asian parents think. they are way to overprotective and are way too scared to be on your own. they will always claim that they know the best for you.

trust me, the intentions of your parents are really good towards you, but at the same time you can't be your mama's kid. you have to train your parents.

just like am doing. you have to win their trust, till they see that you can stand on your.

trust me my friend, you are not missing much. once you get your education out of your way, they probably care less where you live.

to be honest, sounds like you are upto something that you parents wil not tolerate and you wanna do it real bad.

do you wanna bring someone over to your place. 😉

if that is the case, then forget it my friend. if you have plans to bring someone over and the girl finds out you live with your parents, chances are that she won't see you anymore.

its really neat to get your own place to do whatever you like to do. but you can wait.

finish school and get a nice job and then see how things change.

also if you wanna make friends, you don't have to live in dorms. try your local places like gym, school, etc etc. you'll be just fine.

good luck.


 


<< But then again, I did get a scholarship which pays for tuition, fees, and a $1050 stipend plus another scholarship for $1500. So college expenses won't be too unbearable because of those scholarships; whereas before I got the scholarship, they agreed I could go to Purdue and pay room and board + out of state tuition. So I don't understand how they're not grateful they won't be paying nearly as much if I go to UC and dorm there >>

That is the point, they ARE grateful they won't be putting their retirement plans on hold, taking a second job, etc. so they want to make DAMN sure you don't screw this up! Because if you do, then they'll have to be responsible for your tuition, fees, and all that, unless you think they're just going to let their kid become an uneducated bum (which I would do if I were them). A couple more years isn't going to kill you.

<< hi dumbass, you missed my point, which I'm not surprise. Living on campus would get me a taste of that "real world" you're babbling incoherently about, as opposed to living with my parents. Dumbass (that needs to be reiterated). >>

lol! That's a common misconception. College campus is about the furthest thing from the 'real world' as you're going to get.

<< They also don't realize that I if I live in a dorm my first year, I can adjust to being on my own and still have some room to mess up a little (for one scholarship, I need a 2.5 gpa first year, 3.0 afterwards) whereas if I live in a dorm my second year, I'll have to adjust to the freedom and maintain a much more difficult 3.0 gpa. >>

That's just the little excuse you've rationalized for yourself, it is a FACT that the freshmen year has the highest number of dropouts. If you can adjust your freshman year, you can adjust your sophomore year as well. There's no difference!

If you want a taste of the 'real world', then stay at home, do your own laundry without needing to be told, make your own meals, work part time for extra money, keep your room cleaned without needing to be told, study without needing to be told, and help your mother do the grocery shopping. Real world.

 
If you can finance it yourself, go live on campus. If you can't tell them this: you WILL do better in classes if you live on campus. It's a LOT easier to focus on school when you're around it all the time than when you jsut go for a few hours a couple times a week, and do other stuff the rest of the time. (I speak from experience)
 
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