- Oct 10, 1999
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About five years ago I had a new set of neighbors arrive to my neighborhood. This family consisted of two 40ish y/old men, a father somewhere in his 60s and a daughter in her late 30s early 40s with 3 screaming kids and no father figure.(Or if there was one, he doesnt show his face around here. but I digress) The men are all 5'5 weigh very close to 350 pounds each and have the arms of midgets(My father swears theyre Oompa Loompas) The mother who doesnt work, and allows her children to run shirtless & barefoot ninety percent of the time, is thinner and weighs in at around 200. This merry little band of suburban hillbillies has been the bane of our existence the last five years, since squatting on the property across the street. Heres some of things they do to drive us nuts:
They own a pot belly stove and consider it their personal trash incinerator Countless days in winter of smelling burning plastic, wet wood and a host of other burning smells never smelled before, at all hours every day. If it can be burnt, this assmunch has burnt it at one point or another in his pot belly stove. Guess which way the wind is always blowing?...
Kids playing outside at all hours of the night No lie here either. I came home from my night shift Systems Admin job to find their youngest son (around 5 years old) outside skateboarding at 3am. Not an isolated incident, as all three of the boys had been out all night more often then not last summer. How do I know? I can hear them Effing playing tag or some other screaming game @ 4am.
Neighbors Sons (the two 40+ y/o guys) each own a Pickup, and two musclecars they feel the need to start or drive at any hour of the night. Yup you guessed it, the heavy hillbilly boys come home from work, start up the stove and get to drinkin their beer. Drunken Family fights begin at 8pm sharp and usually end either with countless hours of public drunken shouting matches, or One, or Both of Hill Billies storming off in their cars loudly through the neighborhood at break-neck speed. Theyre all on a first name basis with the local law enforcment. Seven cars in the driveway and surrounding street....the usual used car lot. Their dog, whom I'm convinced they've trained to run at large everytime the door opens to their house, was recently plowed by a neighborhood kid on his moped. Bandaged but determined, they still let this mutt out to roam the streets a few times a day, then stand at their doorway screaming its name at the top of their lungs for an hour or so.
6:30am this morning, Eldest Oompa Loomp awakens me with his chainsaw seranade of cutting more firewood with his friends log splitter, and his chainsaw...Theyre still out there at it.
We've called the cops on these pie-holes numerous times, had DYFUS out more times than I can remember, I dont know how they get through it without getting some sort of jail time. I'm thinking its time to burn their little house of sticks down...
...Let the games begin.:|
~wnied~
They own a pot belly stove and consider it their personal trash incinerator Countless days in winter of smelling burning plastic, wet wood and a host of other burning smells never smelled before, at all hours every day. If it can be burnt, this assmunch has burnt it at one point or another in his pot belly stove. Guess which way the wind is always blowing?...
Kids playing outside at all hours of the night No lie here either. I came home from my night shift Systems Admin job to find their youngest son (around 5 years old) outside skateboarding at 3am. Not an isolated incident, as all three of the boys had been out all night more often then not last summer. How do I know? I can hear them Effing playing tag or some other screaming game @ 4am.
Neighbors Sons (the two 40+ y/o guys) each own a Pickup, and two musclecars they feel the need to start or drive at any hour of the night. Yup you guessed it, the heavy hillbilly boys come home from work, start up the stove and get to drinkin their beer. Drunken Family fights begin at 8pm sharp and usually end either with countless hours of public drunken shouting matches, or One, or Both of Hill Billies storming off in their cars loudly through the neighborhood at break-neck speed. Theyre all on a first name basis with the local law enforcment. Seven cars in the driveway and surrounding street....the usual used car lot. Their dog, whom I'm convinced they've trained to run at large everytime the door opens to their house, was recently plowed by a neighborhood kid on his moped. Bandaged but determined, they still let this mutt out to roam the streets a few times a day, then stand at their doorway screaming its name at the top of their lungs for an hour or so.
6:30am this morning, Eldest Oompa Loomp awakens me with his chainsaw seranade of cutting more firewood with his friends log splitter, and his chainsaw...Theyre still out there at it.
We've called the cops on these pie-holes numerous times, had DYFUS out more times than I can remember, I dont know how they get through it without getting some sort of jail time. I'm thinking its time to burn their little house of sticks down...
...Let the games begin.:|
~wnied~
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