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RANT: Good female friend...

O

Orsorum

Lifer
Okay, I just need to rant for a little bit...

There was a girl that I met in seventh grade, totally fell in love with her... I pined over this girl for three years; I fell into that "best friend" role that many of us know so well. Got used to it, but never stopped having feelings for her. I always assumed she knew that I was interested; I thought that I sent very clear signals.

Come to high school, we go to different high schools, take different paths; I became a Christian and radically changed my entire attitude and social circle; she... didn't. We still hung out about once a year.

Finally, this Spring Break, we get in touch, start talking over AIM, went out to dinner once, etc. Had a good time, purely as friends.

So she asks me a couple nights ago online, out of the blue, if I had ever "liked her" in Jr. High... wow. I've never been that close to completely losing it over AIM. I was close to bitching her out severely... then my brief, 10-second period of disbelief expired, and I got over it. I said that I had liked her. She then asked me if I "still liked her"... and I said, in essence, no. I'd gotten so used to her being a friend that I really didn't give a crap about any romantic feelings for her anymore.

*sigh* I'm getting to a point where I'm completely irritable and fed up with females in general. The only women I enjoy talking to anymore are my sister and my mom; they're the only semi-rational women I know. Every other woman I know is either immature, f***** up with either drugs or simply their own psychosis, or too caught up with idiot frat guys or abusive jerks to bother having an intelligent conversation.

I know there are plenty of awesome, amazing, beautiful, intelligent women out there, I just haven't met any yet. *sigh* Just give it time, I guess.

So, there ends my rant. The true body of my rant was the whole female friend from high school thing, the last two paragraphs are just ramblings.
 
What made you become a christian?

I think you think too much 😀 go get drunk or something 😉
 


<< * I'm getting to a point where I'm completely irritable and fed up with females in general. The only women I enjoy talking to anymore are my sister and my mom; they're the only semi-rational women I know. Every other woman I know is either immature, f***** up with either drugs or simply their own psychosis, or too caught up with idiot frat guys or abusive jerks to bother having an intelligent conversation. >>



If one person has a problem with everyone around him, I often have to wonder if it's that one person who has the problem. ALthough, yeah, I hate the situation you're in, I've been in it.
 


<<

<< * I'm getting to a point where I'm completely irritable and fed up with females in general. The only women I enjoy talking to anymore are my sister and my mom; they're the only semi-rational women I know. Every other woman I know is either immature, f***** up with either drugs or simply their own psychosis, or too caught up with idiot frat guys or abusive jerks to bother having an intelligent conversation. >>



If one person has a problem with everyone around him, I often have to wonder if it's that one person who has the problem. ALthough, yeah, I hate the situation you're in, I've been in it. >>



It's not everyone around me... I have met several amazing women... lol The ones that I've identified off the bat are generally married. And, yes, I'm still sorting through my own emotions regarding women and relationships, so I probably have some unintentional blinders on. Doesn't change my opinion in that paragraph, though.
 
WTF????? YOU'RE AN IDIOT!!!! Don't be gett'n pissed at her for not "knowing" that she liked you..... if she didn't want to see you in that light then she wouldn't. If you were too pussy to tell her your feelings then its your own damn fault. You say you're such a "different" person now but then why do you even really care????
 


<< WTF????? YOU'RE AN IDIOT!!!! Don't be gett'n pissed at her for not "knowing" that she liked you..... if she didn't want to see you in that light then she wouldn't. If you were too pussy to tell her your feelings then its your own damn fault. You say you're such a "different" person now but then why do you even really care???? >>



I care because I spent three years of my life around her and thinking about her.

Don't crap in my thread. If you have something useful or civil to say, do so, otherwise, please don't bother with profanity and the like.
 
Wait... so what exactly are you mad about? Women in general or just that one girl where you're the one who didn't make the move? Kinda sounds like you're blaming women for what you couldn't do. Thats what it seems like to me but if I'm wrong, I apologize.
 


<<
Don't crap in my thread. If you have something useful or civil to say, do so, otherwise, please don't bother with profanity and the like. >>



OMFG, that's classic. Its ok for your profanity in the first p0st, but not in his answer? Yup, a Christian mindset to the maxxxxx (been there done that)
 
I had one too...then she became my girlfriend after I came back from school.

However, I dumped her a little less than a year later. She's Lutheran, I'm athiest, she's too clingy, I'm not, etc. Plus she got jealous when my job paid me 50% more. I'm an Engineer, she's a scientist. What does she expect?
 


<< Wait... so what exactly are you mad about? Women in general or just that one girl where you're the one who didn't make the move? Kinda sounds like you're blaming women for what you couldn't do. Thats what it seems like to me but if I'm wrong, I apologize. >>



Yeah, I was the one who messed up... I didn't make the move. I also took a assbackwards approach - again, like most of us know, I played the "best friend" role.

I'm irritated with women because I haven't met any that I like... I feel as though I'm surrounded by women I don't want to be with at the moment. That's all.

When I meet the girl that I want to be with, I'm not going to waste that opportunity... I'm learning, and I'm still growing up.
 
Gotta agree with buzzman on this one.

Women are not mind readers. If you didn't tell her that you liked her, then you have no reason to be pissed.
 
Okay, listen to me, honey: Don't you ever diss my sex that way next time. :| Females are amiable and are not the problem!

The problem is males like you when you take the woman's/girl's role:

"There was a girl that I met in seventh grade, totally fell in love with her... I pined over this girl for three years; I fell into that 'best friend' role that many of us know so well. Got used to it, but never stopped having feelings for her. I always assumed she knew that I was interested; I thought that I sent very clear signals."

Excuse me? What kind of crappola is that! :Q I mean, seriously though . . . since when did men/boys assume the role of women/girls? Seriously! I mean, the boys/men are supposed to be straight-forward and be humble and manly enough to ask a woman out or at least make his feelings clearly known to her. Do you for a moment stop to think of all of the pondering women do, even amongst themselves trying to figure out if a guy likes her, likes her or if she's reading too much into it? And do you for a moment think of what signals she attempts to send and hopes the guy would get it?

Perhaps she was asking you now 'cuz she always suspected all this while that you did have feelings toward her but she was too shy to ask you? Perhaps she expected you to ask her out or explicitly state your feelings toward her?

Okay, I'm done ranting too. LOL!

Take those words kindly. I was serious and kidding at the same time. I'm kidding about my tone, but I'm serious about you incorrectly assigning roles here and blaming the wrong person. 😉 You're supposed to initiate it, not she!!!!! What was she to do; ask you out (taking your role)?

Hey, btw, you spoke of finding Mrs. Right, how sure are you that you aren't driving away she who is amidst you? Maybe she's really Mrs. Right? Statistically, though, I should add that I don't think she's Mrs. Right. . . I'm just fooling around. 😉
 


<< I always assumed she knew that I was interested >>


You're mad at her because she didn't know?? You "assumed" you sent her clear signals, but signals are easily confused. Why didn't you tell her you liked her back then?

I'm sorry, but I don't think the fault is entirely hers. I think what you've got is a clear case of mis-communication.

Try and see things from her perspective or ask a female friend for her opinion, and see if that helps clarify things a little.
 


<<

<<
Don't crap in my thread. If you have something useful or civil to say, do so, otherwise, please don't bother with profanity and the like. >>



OMFG, that's classic. Its ok for your profanity in the first p0st, but not in his answer? Yup, a Christian mindset to the maxxxxx (been there done that) >>



The only objection I had was as to his use of the word "pu***" - it's a word I consider fairly offensive, regardless of the context, barring its original meaning.

The hypocracy evident is something I struggle with. My language isn't perfect, and that's something I'm working on. My relationship with Christ does not necessarily suffer for it, but it's something that I struggle with.

How have you "been there, done that"?
 
So, you're upset that the girl you've been pining away for might now have feelings for you? You are getting what you had wanted and you're upset about it? Why? Because her timing didn't match yours? I mean, why not just be happy that she finally "came around"? Seems to me that you're looking at things from the worst possible perspective here.

ZV
 


<<

<< I always assumed she knew that I was interested >>


You're mad at her because she didn't know?? You "assumed" you sent her clear signals, but signals are easily confused. Why didn't you tell her you liked her back then?
I'm sorry, but I don't think the fault is entirely hers. I think what you've got is a clear case of mis-communication.
Try and see things from her perspective or ask a female friend for her opinion, and see if that helps clarify things a little. >>



Again... this is just pent-up frustration from Jr. High. The person I was back then isn't the person I am now. Looking back, I wasn't the best communicator; I didn't communicate to her how I felt; I guess that I expected her to know; ironically, yes, the same thing some women expect guys to do.

I'm finding out that if anything is going to happen between two people, the guy generally has to take initiative and communicate his interest. Seems like a duh thing, but something a lot guys don't know. Had this occured now, in college, yes, I would probably be up-front, and if I were attracted to her, I would tell her.

Relationships aren't something I'm incredibly comfortable with, but I'm becoming more confident in myself and my feelings, and becoming more confident around women.
 


<< So, you're upset that the girl you've been pining away for might now have feelings for you? You are getting what you had wanted and you're upset about it? Why? Because her timing didn't match yours? I mean, why not just be happy that she finally "came around"? Seems to me that you're looking at things from the worst possible perspective here.

ZV >>



I don't necessarily think she's interested, it's just a topic that came up.
 


<< Okay, listen to me, honey: Don't you ever diss my sex that way next time. :| Females are amiable and are not the problem!

The problem is males like you when you take the woman's/girl's role:

"There was a girl that I met in seventh grade, totally fell in love with her... I pined over this girl for three years; I fell into that 'best friend' role that many of us know so well. Got used to it, but never stopped having feelings for her. I always assumed she knew that I was interested; I thought that I sent very clear signals."

Excuse me? What kind of crappola is that! :Q I mean, seriously though . . . since when did men/boys assume the role of women/girls? Seriously! I mean, the boys/men are supposed to be straight-forward and be humble and manly enough to ask a woman out or at least make his feelings clearly known to her. Do you for a moment stop to think of all of the pondering women do, even amongst themselves trying to figure out if a guy likes her, likes her or if she's reading too much into it? And do you for a moment think of what signals she attempts to send and hopes the guy would get it?

Perhaps she was asking you now 'cuz she always suspected all this while that you did have feelings toward her but she was too shy to ask you? Perhaps she expected you to ask her out or explicitly state your feelings toward her?

Okay, I'm done ranting too. LOL!

Take those words kindly. I was serious and kidding at the same time. I'm kidding about my tone, but I'm serious about you incorrectly assigning roles here and blaming the wrong person. 😉 You're supposed to initiate it, not she!!!!! What was she to do; ask you out (taking your role)?

Hey, btw, you spoke of finding Mrs. Right, how sure are you that you aren't driving away she who is amidst you? Maybe she's really Mrs. Right? Statistically, though, I should add that I don't think she's Mrs. Right. . . I'm just fooling around. 😉 >>



You know, it's funny, because my sister (she's 24) ALWAYS asks me about different guys and what I think they're trying to say... and I have to say, more often than not, I have no idea. Guys are freakin' confusing!!

lol Thank you for your words, luvly. Always true to your nick.
 


<< Okay, I just need to rant for a little bit...

There was a girl that I met in seventh grade, totally fell in love with her... I pined over this girl for three years; I fell into that "best friend" role that many of us know so well. Got used to it, but never stopped having feelings for her. I always assumed she knew that I was interested; I thought that I sent very clear signals.

Come to high school, we go to different high schools, take different paths; I became a Christian and radically changed my entire attitude and social circle; she... didn't. We still hung out about once a year.

Finally, this Spring Break, we get in touch, start talking over AIM, went out to dinner once, etc. Had a good time, purely as friends.

So she asks me a couple nights ago online, out of the blue, if I had ever "liked her" in Jr. High... wow. I've never been that close to completely losing it over AIM. I was close to bitching her out severely... then my brief, 10-second period of disbelief expired, and I got over it. I said that I had liked her. She then asked me if I "still liked her"... and I said, in essence, no. I'd gotten so used to her being a friend that I really didn't give a crap about any romantic feelings for her anymore.

*sigh* I'm getting to a point where I'm completely irritable and fed up with females in general. >>



I dont' get how that story shows she is is irrational or why you would be fed up because of women like her. or do the two have nothing to do with each other? in that case, what' sthe point of your post again? 😛
 


<< I dont' get how that story shows she is is irrational or why you would be fed up because of women like her. or do the two have nothing to do with each other? in that case, what' sthe point of your post again? 😛 >>



lol In retrospect, I don't think it had much point. I just need to vent my irrational emotional reaction to a fairly sad situation, is all. Got two different issues combined in the same thread, I think I confused a lot of people. 😛
 
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