*RANT* Damn! Second fat guy farts on treadmill next to mine!

[MichaelD]

[rant]

Allright, fatasses, listen up. The gym is a public place. It's not my gym. I know this. There are 10 treadmills there; I have no control over which treadmill you decide to run on. I don't mind that you always seem to pick the one right next to me...even though you make my treadmill shake as you move those 400 pounds up and down as you run.

But do me a favor, huh? Please use the bathroom before you come and work out. PLEASE? When I'm running on my treadmill like some PCP-crazed hamster, the last thing I want is you dropping a big, smelly load in your pants when you are two feet away from me.

And for cryin' out loud, you know you did it, I know you did...hell, the paint peeling off the WALLS knows you did it! At least make some kind of guy joke like "Damn, shouldn't have those beans! Sorry!" That would make it OK in my book.

But nooooooo; you just keep huffing away like nothing happened. Then, you do it AGAIN! For #$#!*&! sake, MAN; hit PAUSE, go take a dump, eat another Twinkie and come back and resume your workout.

I applaud your efforts to get back down to a svelte size 44 waist, but the next time you blow noxious fumes at me like that, I'm going to announce to the entire gym that you just crapped your pants. Fair enough?

[/rant]


*CLIFF NOTES*
Second day in a row that some fat guy gets on the treadmill next to mine at the gym and farts horrible, noxious, rotten burrito, collard green farts in my general direction.

 

[ViRGE]

Sorry, it has to be done:

I fart in your general direction!

 

[Ornery]

You pay money... to run on a treadmill?

 

[MichaelD]

Originally posted by: Ornery
You pay money... to run on a treadmill?

...and use the weights, eliptical bike, stationary bike etc. It's a full gym.

But this isn't about "how much do you pay for your gym?" This is about FATASSES farting next to me! I thought I was gonna die...it was HORRIBLE!

These weren't "two second torrents" either. Oh no; much more than that. These were the "Lingering Lovlies" that HANG there like mustard gas, inflaming your breathing passeges and filling your lungs with fluid. Oh, the humanity!

 

[m2kewl]

it could be a lot worse, like some people farting in the sauna at NYSC

 

[SilverThief]

See, now thats why I work out in the comfort of my home with my new Total Gym XL.

 

[MichaelD]

Originally posted by: SilverThief
See, now thats why I work out in the comfort of my home with my new Total Gym XL.

/set up camera on tripod
/hands you wireless microphone
/does sound check


OK, say all that again, but this time embellish a little and point to the gym thingee as you talk.

 

[erub]

nothing quite like a good fart and/or burp during a little run - i let em go freely

<--skinny guy but mine still smell

 

Are they soundless farts, or are they "I just ripped a huge noisy stinker" farts?

 

[Ornery]

Paying money to excercise blows me away. I told that to my brother, and he said it motivated him to go to the gym, otherwise he'd be 400 lbs. He paid for 10 years, but quit several years ago, yet he's not 400 lbs. at this point.

 

[Amused]

Get over it. People tend to pass gas during strenuous exercise. Like YOU'VE never farted while running.

And it has nothing to do with being fat. Hell, when I was a 90 lb weakling in middle school I sometimes had the machine gun farts in gym class when we went running.

IT HAPPENS.

 

Originally posted by: Amused
Get over it. People tend to pass gas during strenuous exercise. Like YOU'VE never farted while running.

And it has nothing to do with being fat. Hell, when I was a 90 lb weakling in middle school I sometimes had the machine gun farts in gym class when we went running.

IT HAPPENS.

Heh, I remember going on warm up runs on my HS cross country team. The coach (an old scraggly crazy guy, but a good coach) would always bop us on the back of the head when one of us farted.

 

[Amused]

Originally posted by: Ornery
Paying money to excercise blows me away. I told that to my brother, and he said it motivated him to go to the gym, otherwise he'd be 400 lbs. He paid for 10 years, but quit several years ago, yet he's not 400 lbs. at this point.

Paying money for a gym makes perfect sense.

*I don't have to invest thousands of dollars on quality weights, benches and cardio machines.
*I get to workout with other people all the time, swapping advice and motivation.
*I don't have to take up hundreds of sqaure feet in my home for exercise equipment.
*I can always find a spotter.
*Pretty girls in very tight, skimpy clothes jumping around vigorously all around me.
*Expert help always available if I want to try a new exercise.

I could go on and on, but the benefits far outweight the $400 a year or so I spend on membership.

 

[Ornery]

I suspect it's more the social aspect than anything. Otherwise, I'd rather find something constructive to do for "excercise" that actually pays money!

 

[Amused]

Originally posted by: Ornery
I suspect it's more the social aspect than anything. Otherwise, I'd rather find something constructive to do for "excercise" that actually pays money!

No one is going to pay me money to lift a lot of weight in a limited and controled fashion with the main focus on muscle hypertrophy.

While our bodies are meant to do physical exercise, the good paying jobs involve very little to no exercise. Therefore, so I don't end up a flacid fatass, I exercise.

 

[PlatinumGold]

Originally posted by: MichaelD
[rant]

Allright, fatasses, listen up. The gym is a public place. It's not my gym. I know this. There are 10 treadmills there; I have no control over which treadmill you decide to run on. I don't mind that you always seem to pick the one right next to me...even though you make my treadmill shake as you move those 400 pounds up and down as you run.

But do me a favor, huh? Please use the bathroom before you come and work out. PLEASE? When I'm running on my treadmill like some PCP-crazed hamster, the last thing I want is you dropping a big, smelly load in your pants when you are two feet away from me.

And for cryin' out loud, you know you did it, I know you did...hell, the paint peeling off the WALLS knows you did it! At least make some kind of guy joke like "Damn, shouldn't have those beans! Sorry!" That would make it OK in my book.

But nooooooo; you just keep huffing away like nothing happened. Then, you do it AGAIN! For #$#!*&! sake, MAN; hit PAUSE, go take a dump, eat another Twinkie and come back and resume your workout.

I applaud your efforts to get back down to a svelte size 44 waist, but the next time you blow noxious fumes at me like that, I'm going to announce to the entire gym that you just crapped your pants. Fair enough?

[/rant]


*CLIFF NOTES*
Second day in a row that some fat guy gets on the treadmill next to mine at the gym and farts horrible, noxious, rotten burrito, collard green farts in my general direction.

so, only fat guys fart?

 

[brigden]

[Kevin Nealon]That was a nice out.[/Kevin Nealon]

 

[Spamela]

do what i do: work out in the part of the gym with the fewest people - the power rack.

-or-

you can jog outdoors & get the same (workout) benefit for free.

 

[Ornery]

"While our bodies are meant to do physical exercise, the good paying jobs involve very little to no exercise. Therefore, so I don't end up a flacid fatass, I exercise."

I'd think there would be some type of work that could be done part time. Hang drywall, carry shingles, lay block, install pavers, build decks... anything but paying to run on a treadmill next to fat people!

 

[MichaelD]

Why did I just know that someone (PlatinumGold) was going to to get all American Civil Liberties Union on me?

All humans flatuate. It just seems that the only ones that fart next to me at the gym are the porkers!

 

[EngenZerO]

jog with a gas mask on == problem solved;

personnly, just live with it. Some people are inconsiderate and think its cool to drop fart bombs to others it could be a possible problem with them biologically and they have to for relief. goodluck...

 

[Amused]

Originally posted by: Ornery
"While our bodies are meant to do physical exercise, the good paying jobs involve very little to no exercise. Therefore, so I don't end up a flacid fatass, I exercise."

I'd think there would be some type of work that could be done part time. Hang drywall, carry shingles, lay block, install pavers, build decks... anything but paying to run on a treadmill next to fat people!

I do 40 minutes of cardio. I get to control exactly what my heart rate is the entire time. I increase my stamina and lower my BF. No one is going to pay me to do anything close to that.

 

[MichaelD]

Originally posted by: Amused

Originally posted by: Ornery
"While our bodies are meant to do physical exercise, the good paying jobs involve very little to no exercise. Therefore, so I don't end up a flacid fatass, I exercise."

I'd think there would be some type of work that could be done part time. Hang drywall, carry shingles, lay block, install pavers, build decks... anything but paying to run on a treadmill next to fat people!

I do 40 minutes of cardio. I get to control exactly what my heart rate is the entire time. I increase my stamina and lower my BF. No one is going to pay me to do anything close to that.

Agreed. After many years of non-exercise, I am finally back in the gym. I've been working out exactly 4 weeks now. I have dropped 8 pounds. The visual difference is small, but there and I feel better than I have in a LONG time. 8 down, 10 to go. Oh...the fact that I cut my alcohol intake by about 99% has just a little to do with it too.

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: MichaelD
Why did I just know that someone (PlatinumGold) was going to to get all American Civil Liberties Union on me?

All humans flatuate. It just seems that the only ones that fart next to me at the gym are the porkers!

I'm no porker and just have this to say

a healthy diet with lots of veggies and water,plus regular exercise = an active colon... a good thing,so let em rip !

 

[Ornery]

Originally posted by: Amused

Originally posted by: Ornery
"While our bodies are meant to do physical exercise, the good paying jobs involve very little to no exercise. Therefore, so I don't end up a flacid fatass, I exercise."

I'd think there would be some type of work that could be done part time. Hang drywall, carry shingles, lay block, install pavers, build decks... anything but paying to run on a treadmill next to fat people!

I do 40 minutes of cardio. I get to control exactly what my heart rate is the entire time. I increase my stamina and lower my BF. No one is going to pay me to do anything close to that.

I'm still thinking of stuff... how about washing and waxing cars? Do it REALLY fast with a heart monitor on. Hire pretty girls in very tight, skimpy clothes to help. You'll be rolling in dough!