Rant against Miracle Whip

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prism

prism

Senior member
Oct 23, 2004
967
0
0
The only way I can conceive that this was invented was that someone thought it would be funny to trick people into thinking they were about to eat mayo, when they were actually eating Rush Limbaugh's farts that turned into a mayo-like form due to a Star Trek transporter malfunction.

Seriously, who the crap would take this nonsensical tastebud-slapping spread over mayo? To give fans the benefit of the doubt, I've tried it on all sorts of sandwiches, and never have I found a combination that wouldn't be literally 2487642 times better with mayo instead of miracle whip.

And what's with the name "miracle whip"? It should be called "I hate life whip".
 
BoomerD

BoomerD

No Lifer
Feb 26, 2006
66,307
14,717
146
Youse guys just have bad taste buds...Miracle Whip>*

Mayonnaise is just flavored pig snot in comparison.
 
S

Schfifty Five

Lifer
Oct 20, 2005
10,978
44
91
Originally posted by: Prism
The only way I can conceive that this was invented was that someone thought it would be funny to trick people into thinking they were about to eat mayo, when they were actually eating Rush Limbaugh's farts that turned into a mayo-like form due to a Star Trek transporter malfunction.

Seriously, who the crap would take this nonsensical tastebud-slapping spread over mayo? To give fans the benefit of the doubt, I've tried it on all sorts of sandwiches, and never have I found a combination that wouldn't be literally 2487642 times better with mayo instead of miracle whip.

And what's with the name "miracle whip"? It should be called "I hate life whip".
Click to expand...

You sound like a douche when you say that.

And because you didn't use commas.

 
Captante

Captante

Lifer
Oct 20, 2003
30,353
10,876
136
Originally posted by: Schfifty Five

You sound like a douche when you say that.

And because you didn't use commas.
Click to expand...

True ... but Miracle-whip does suck.

 
C

Canai

Diamond Member
Oct 4, 2006
8,016
1
0
Miracle Whip is good, but I get some nonfat dressing stuff or something. I dunno what it is. I never eat it anyway. I don't even know why I came into this thread.
 
Fritzo

Fritzo

Lifer
Jan 3, 2001
41,920
2,161
126
Originally posted by: BoomerD
Youse guys just have bad taste buds...Miracle Whip>*

Mayonnaise is just flavored pig snot in comparison.
Click to expand...

What a bunch of babies. Miracle Whip is just mayo with additional sugar, vinegar, and a bit of paprika. "Oooohh! Ooohhh! This tastes slightly different than what I'm used to! It is out of my comfort level!!! WHINE WHINE WHINE!!!!"

I bet you're all the same people that pick everything off of your pizza, only eat turkey or ham on a sandwich, and have a list of 5 ingredients that can be on your dinner plate or you won't eat.

Miracle While was designed to be a salad dressing, but people started using it on sandwiches. Most mayo sold in jars is actually pretty poor compared to real mayonnaise (which was considered a fancy delicacy until it started being mass produced in the early 1900's). Mayo is actually easy to make, it just takes a little elbow grease. It's egg yolks whipped with a good quality oil (non-virgin olive oil works well), and a little dry mustard and lemon. You can cheat and use a blender or an electric mixer.

A little trivia: In the books, James Bond only eats lobster with "a good quality mayonnaise".

I guess my point is, if you don't like something, oh freaking well- obviously millions of other people do or it wouldn't be sold. If you find yourself not liking a LOT of things, there's something wrong with you, not the food.
 
M

marvdmartian

Diamond Member
Apr 12, 2002
5,444
27
91
-2/10 for a whine against a condiment :roll:

Here's a clue.....if you don't like it, don't BUY IT. Mayo's usually just to the left or right on the store shelf, and you have a nice day with your cholesterol count while you're at it.
 
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