Thanks Keribeth... it was a long, hard road for both of us... but worth it. 
Edit: Your sig rocks.
Edit: Your sig rocks.
I, personally, don't think sex outside of a relationship is such a big deal. I stay with my wife because I love and care for her. I don't stay with her so I can have sex with her.
For me, sex and love are mutually exclusive. You can have one without the other, tho you can have them together as well, if you meet the right person.
It would take a helluvalot more than a pretty face and a good screw to make me leave my wife, because I do love her so much.
This doesn't mean that a pretty face and a good screw are bad things, as long as they are taken for what they are. Fun.
amish
For me, sex and love are mutually exclusive. You can have one without the other, tho you can have them together as well, if you meet the right person.
It would take a helluvalot more than a pretty face and a good screw to make me leave my wife, because I do love her so much.
This doesn't mean that a pretty face and a good screw are bad things, as long as they are taken for what they are. Fun.
amish
Isla's a great writer, but you all know she just makes this stuff up as she goes along right?
Just kidding Isla!!!
See there is a prime example of why you want to stay with a single person. If you could find a woman that dedicated to you as our Ms Isla is to her hubby, wouldn't you want to keep her?
That almost enough to make me wish I wasn't single, lol.
I said almost. I'm still not going to let a woman fasten a leash around my neck yet.
Just kidding Isla!!!
See there is a prime example of why you want to stay with a single person. If you could find a woman that dedicated to you as our Ms Isla is to her hubby, wouldn't you want to keep her?
That almost enough to make me wish I wasn't single, lol.
I said almost. I'm still not going to let a woman fasten a leash around my neck yet.
Electric Amish: Although I don't share the same feelings in that regard, I do agree w/ you.
Personally, I'd be hurt beyond all possible levels if I found out my loved one was cheating on me. I know I feel this way because I've been brought up in an environment where this was perceived as a horrible thing. I think that if more of us were open w/ the truth, that we wouldn't have such a high divorce rate. People do things simply out of spite, or because they think it's taboo. Many cheat simply because they get an adrenaline rush out of doing it. I only wish more were open about it so that their own insecurities or paranoia wouldn't destroy an otherwise good relationship.
So, this brings up a question. If we were to rid our society of clothing as many tribal communities do, would we still have this issue? Many tribal men (I'm not so sure about women) have sex w/ countless women, and it's a non-issue. Obviously, in our society, this would constitute a double standard and would warrant another feminist movement, but what's so different about us? Is it clothing? Is it the idea of "love" that we've been spoonfed since we were children?
Personally, I'd be hurt beyond all possible levels if I found out my loved one was cheating on me. I know I feel this way because I've been brought up in an environment where this was perceived as a horrible thing. I think that if more of us were open w/ the truth, that we wouldn't have such a high divorce rate. People do things simply out of spite, or because they think it's taboo. Many cheat simply because they get an adrenaline rush out of doing it. I only wish more were open about it so that their own insecurities or paranoia wouldn't destroy an otherwise good relationship.
So, this brings up a question. If we were to rid our society of clothing as many tribal communities do, would we still have this issue? Many tribal men (I'm not so sure about women) have sex w/ countless women, and it's a non-issue. Obviously, in our society, this would constitute a double standard and would warrant another feminist movement, but what's so different about us? Is it clothing? Is it the idea of "love" that we've been spoonfed since we were children?
Everyone took my comment from above the wrong way. Sex is an important part of marriage, not a fringe benefit.
<< So, this brings up a question. If we were to rid our society of clothing as many tribal communities do, would we still have this issue? Many tribal men (I'm not so sure about women) have sex w/ countless women, and it's a non-issue. Obviously, in our society, this would constitute a double standard and would warrant another feminist movement, but what's so different about us? Is it clothing? Is it the idea of "love" that we've been spoonfed since we were children? >>
It doesn't matter how other cultures see it, what's important is how your culture sees it. It's fine that <insert tribe> doesn't consider fidelity a big deal. That's their culture. If you subscribe to that belief, than good for you. If not, then do whatever your culture dictates is right.
<< So, this brings up a question. If we were to rid our society of clothing as many tribal communities do, would we still have this issue? Many tribal men (I'm not so sure about women) have sex w/ countless women, and it's a non-issue. Obviously, in our society, this would constitute a double standard and would warrant another feminist movement, but what's so different about us? Is it clothing? Is it the idea of "love" that we've been spoonfed since we were children? >>
It doesn't matter how other cultures see it, what's important is how your culture sees it. It's fine that <insert tribe> doesn't consider fidelity a big deal. That's their culture. If you subscribe to that belief, than good for you. If not, then do whatever your culture dictates is right.
Monogamy Rocks.
Practiced monogamy would virtually eliminate STD's.
Practiced monogamy, as a general principle, produces the most stable offspring who become the most productive members of society.
Practiced monogamy teaches us what real love is. If you believe that love is nothing more than a mask for sexual, animal instinct, then this point will make no sense to you. When you give your sexuality entirely and unreservedly to one and only one other person, you take a step of humility and risk. You are yielding control over a part of your life that typically controls the lower animals and many humans. Without that yielding and commitment, most people will struggle to understand real love, which in its highest form has nothing to do with sexuality.
On a practical level, people tend to define freedom as "the ability to indulge my desires." That is not freedom. I begin to experience true freedom for the first time when, in the face of desires that are in and of themselves natural, I can, as an act of will, choose to say, "No." Then, for the first time, I am not driven by my own desires. I am driving them. For most people, there is no better way to achieve this freedom without challenging the strongest non-essential animal desire of all (sex) head on and choosing as an act of volition to redirect it into a higher love, a love of life-long, focused commitment.
By saying "No" to all others, I say "Yes" to my wife in a way that is powerful and unique. That is love.
Practiced monogamy would virtually eliminate STD's.
Practiced monogamy, as a general principle, produces the most stable offspring who become the most productive members of society.
Practiced monogamy teaches us what real love is. If you believe that love is nothing more than a mask for sexual, animal instinct, then this point will make no sense to you. When you give your sexuality entirely and unreservedly to one and only one other person, you take a step of humility and risk. You are yielding control over a part of your life that typically controls the lower animals and many humans. Without that yielding and commitment, most people will struggle to understand real love, which in its highest form has nothing to do with sexuality.
On a practical level, people tend to define freedom as "the ability to indulge my desires." That is not freedom. I begin to experience true freedom for the first time when, in the face of desires that are in and of themselves natural, I can, as an act of will, choose to say, "No." Then, for the first time, I am not driven by my own desires. I am driving them. For most people, there is no better way to achieve this freedom without challenging the strongest non-essential animal desire of all (sex) head on and choosing as an act of volition to redirect it into a higher love, a love of life-long, focused commitment.
By saying "No" to all others, I say "Yes" to my wife in a way that is powerful and unique. That is love.
She claims to feel the same way, but the one time I took her at her word she was awful upset.
She's over it now and claims it won't bother her if I screw other people.
amish
She's over it now and claims it won't bother her if I screw other people.
amish
<< It doesn't matter how other cultures see it, what's important is how your culture sees it. It's fine that <insert tribe> doesn't consider fidelity a big deal. That's their culture. If you subscribe to that belief, than good for you. If not, then do whatever your culture dictates is right. >>
Come again? So... we assimilate the beliefs of our culture, wrong or not? If I were under the dictatorship of Hitler, would I assimilate his antisemitism? Do you follow Benny Hinn too?
Thanks. I think she's pretty great. Loves sports like you wouldn't believe. Now if I could just get her into computers.
Weren't you the one that told me to send her your way if we ever broke-up? Since she has the tats and piercings.
amish
Weren't you the one that told me to send her your way if we ever broke-up? Since she has the tats and piercings.
amish
Descartes:
Read what Spoon said
<< It doesn't matter how other cultures see it, what's important is how your
culture sees it. It's fine that <insert tribe> doesn't consider fidelity a
big deal. That's their culture. If you subscribe to that belief, than good
for you. If not, then do whatever your culture dictates is right. >>
He said if you believe that culture is right then do so, by implication "your culture" would refer to the culture you believe is right. So if you believe Hitler is correct, then you are part of jos culture. If you believe he's wrong, then you aren't.
Read what Spoon said
<< It doesn't matter how other cultures see it, what's important is how your
culture sees it. It's fine that <insert tribe> doesn't consider fidelity a
big deal. That's their culture. If you subscribe to that belief, than good
for you. If not, then do whatever your culture dictates is right. >>
He said if you believe that culture is right then do so, by implication "your culture" would refer to the culture you believe is right. So if you believe Hitler is correct, then you are part of jos culture. If you believe he's wrong, then you aren't.
"Come again? So... we assimilate the beliefs of our culture, wrong or not? If I were under the dictatorship of Hitler, would I assimilate his antisemitism? Do you follow Benny Hinn too?"
Yes, we do. It's called cultural transmission. This occurs while you're at school, when you watch TV, when you read a book, etc. If you grew up in Germany during the period that Hitler was leader, there is a strong possibility that you would be a Nazi and you would probably hate Jews. If you grew up with parents that watched Benny Hinn all the time and raised you with "traditional values", you would probably grow up a fundametalist. There exists the possibility that you would question what you learned growing up, that you would be against Hitler and nazism, etc. But a larger possibility is that you would learn what your society deems correct and believe it to be so.
Yes, we do. It's called cultural transmission. This occurs while you're at school, when you watch TV, when you read a book, etc. If you grew up in Germany during the period that Hitler was leader, there is a strong possibility that you would be a Nazi and you would probably hate Jews. If you grew up with parents that watched Benny Hinn all the time and raised you with "traditional values", you would probably grow up a fundametalist. There exists the possibility that you would question what you learned growing up, that you would be against Hitler and nazism, etc. But a larger possibility is that you would learn what your society deems correct and believe it to be so.
GTaudiophile
Lifer
- Oct 24, 2000
- 29,767
- 33
- 81
BoberFett
Lifer
- Oct 9, 1999
- 37,562
- 9
- 81
LOL! Yeah, that was me. From your description, it sounds like you've got a great woman there. You'd have to be insane to let her go. Unfortunately I can't vouch for your sanity. Besides, I've become rather attached lately.
Speaking of Mrs. Amish, I don't think Off Topic has ever been graced by pictures of her...
From your description, it sounds like you've got a great woman there. You'd have to be insane to let her go. Unfortunately I can't vouch for your sanity. Besides, I've become rather attached lately. Speaking of Mrs. Amish, I don't think Off Topic has ever been graced by pictures of her...
<< Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery Exodus 20:14 >>
<< That's all I need to know. >>
If the bible said "Thou shall commit adultery", guess what we'd all be doing? It's all a matter of perspective.
The majority of us see fidelity as important to the sanctity of marriage. In fact, it's not that we "see" it as important, society says it is important. If you're a member of that society, then you see it as important. If you're not a member, then you believe whatever you believe. Me, I don't care what others do, but I plan on being faithful because I think it's important. If you're in a relationship where you and your partner don't consider it important, that's fine too. << Is it realistic to think that we can happily spend our entire lives with the same person?
Why not?
Why else would marriage vows include that little thing about death?
Well, if sex is not so important when it comes to marriage, why is it a big deal if we cheat?
Because it violates the trust & commitment that comes with marriage.
Viper GTS >>
Speak it...!!! I agree.
Well, you've never been graced with pictures of me either.
The only pics I have are from our wedding. I'll have to dig up a scanner.
amish
The only pics I have are from our wedding. I'll have to dig up a scanner.
amish
We believe that altho the universe seems quite chaotic, that is it indeed a very ordered place.
We believe in soul-mates... a true love if you will, and that each and every soul has one.
This does not mean you will definatly ever find them though, perhaps your soul-mate died as a child, etc.. but, eventually after this life is through I believe we all come together with our soul-mates.
It's a very hard idea to really put into words, when I was single I dated an awful lot, and never ever thought I would marry. I just liked too many women, but then it happened.. and until such time as it happens to each one of us, it's a hard concept to convey.
I have had this discussion about a zillion times with sooooo many people, and while I am not really explaining it as I do in those conversations, I suppose I am getting the idea across.
We believe in soul-mates... a true love if you will, and that each and every soul has one.
This does not mean you will definatly ever find them though, perhaps your soul-mate died as a child, etc.. but, eventually after this life is through I believe we all come together with our soul-mates.
It's a very hard idea to really put into words, when I was single I dated an awful lot, and never ever thought I would marry. I just liked too many women, but then it happened.. and until such time as it happens to each one of us, it's a hard concept to convey.
I have had this discussion about a zillion times with sooooo many people, and while I am not really explaining it as I do in those conversations, I suppose I am getting the idea across.
Athanasius and Isla - Very deep thoughts.
Faithfullness and love is the most important aspect of a marriage.
Faithfullness and love is the most important aspect of a marriage.
There is way too much agreement here, I've gotta be the devils advocate here...
<< Do your women a favor, then, & don't marry them. >>
Wow viper way to push your personal beliefs off on others I don't care for alcohol but I won't tell everyone that they're bad because they drink. I'll bet that there are some ultra conservates who think your visit to a strip club is wrong, would you be offended if they told you not to have kids because you're a bad person for that?
Everyone views things different ways, personally I think its possible for a married couple to have others in their bed and enjoy the physical pleasures of sex with others and have no "emotional complications" if you will. I think the people possible of having such sex are few and far between. Thats why you always hear about the trouble between a couple after inviting more people in. But if you happen to get 2 people together who can cope with it, I think its very possible. I know couples who don't limit themselves to sex with each other and they are doing fine.
So yes for most people monogamy is very important to them in a relationship, but some people are capable of enjoying sex for the sake of sex with no degradation in the emotions the partners of the couple have toward each other.
<< Do your women a favor, then, & don't marry them. >>
Wow viper way to push your personal beliefs off on others
I don't care for alcohol but I won't tell everyone that they're bad because they drink. I'll bet that there are some ultra conservates who think your visit to a strip club is wrong, would you be offended if they told you not to have kids because you're a bad person for that?Everyone views things different ways, personally I think its possible for a married couple to have others in their bed and enjoy the physical pleasures of sex with others and have no "emotional complications" if you will. I think the people possible of having such sex are few and far between. Thats why you always hear about the trouble between a couple after inviting more people in. But if you happen to get 2 people together who can cope with it, I think its very possible. I know couples who don't limit themselves to sex with each other and they are doing fine.
So yes for most people monogamy is very important to them in a relationship, but some people are capable of enjoying sex for the sake of sex with no degradation in the emotions the partners of the couple have toward each other.
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