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Quotes from My Driver's Ed Teacher, MUST READ



<< "If there isn't a big enough football field, then yer in a rodeo."

"If you don't look, you WILL run over a little boy." >>



sounds like good advice.
 


<<

<< "If there isn't a big enough football field, then yer in a rodeo."

"If you don't look, you WILL run over a little boy." >>



sounds like good advice. >>



What about this?

"To square a number, basically all you have to do is multiply it by 4."
 
Oh please... ain't got nothing on my old football defense coach back in high school... the first few aren't original or funny, but keep reading...

Gerdy: Defensive Coach
"We can only put you guys in the right spots, it's up to you to make the play."

"Each down is a battle, the team that wins the game is the team that wins the most battles."

"Stay low! Stay low!"

"Stay on your block!"

"God damn it (last name)!"

"Alibis are like assholes, they come in different sizes, they stink, and everyone has 'em"

"It's better to be quiet and let people think you're stupid, than to talk and relinquish all doubt"

"You couldn't get a shadow if you stood in the same place twice."

"God, use your head for somthing besides keeping your ears apart."

"Teaching you guys is like teaching the tree over there, u guys are a bunch of stones."

"Take a sh1t or get off the pot."

"If you were blocking for sh1t, you wouldn't get any smell."

"You're a bunch of bullsh1t merchants"

"If bullsh1t were music, you'd have a brass band."

"You look like the southern end of a north bound skunk"

"You run like you have a strawberry up your ass, and you're afraid to crush it."

"Our tackles run like they got lead up their ass"

"Might as well point the linemens ass towards the line of scrimmage, since they spend so much time in the backfield"

"You guys couldn't beat the sisters of the poor"

"There must be a lot of half-toilet seats in this town, cuz theres so many half ass players on this team."

"You guys went through there, like sh1t through a tin horn"

"Do u know what burns my ass? A flame about this high."

"You guys make my ass bleed."

"You couldn't knock a sick whore off a piss pot."

"You couldn't fake out a pregnant cow on ice."

"You couldn't hit a bull's ass with a hand full of rice"

"You couldn't cover sh1t with a shovel."

"You have about as much pressure as a popcorn fart."

"Do you have diarrhea of the mouth?"

"Why don't you two go into the woods and play with yourselves."

"I'm going to nail your penis to a stump and push you over backwards"

"Your stance looks like an old lady squatting to take a piss"

"Joe, if your mother has anymore kids tell her to flush them down the commode"

"Joe, you must be going to night school, because you can't get that stupid just going during the day."

"God, i'm getting as dumb as Joe Leone."

"Hsu, if you block a kick with your groin, i'll rub it for you."

"Hey Pete, you're kinda bow legged there, you'd have a hell of a time trying to catch a pig in an alley."

"Hey Brandon, did you take stupid pills for breakfast this morning"

"Moon! better sell your soul to god, cuz your ass is mine!"

"Spies! Watch out for the squirrels, they like to collect nuts, i gotta fend them off everytime"

"Mike, why don't you fart to relieve some pressure from your brain?"

"Spiro, if u drink some tomato juice, you'd be a thermometer."

"I love you, and i ain't a queer."

Coach, can i go to Paul? My knuckles hurt. "Here let me urinate on it, that'll make it all better. I got magic piss Wojtas, magic piss."
 


<< "And she's a ziggin', and I'm a zaggin'.." >>


LOL, I can only imagine the hand-motions involved in this statement 😀
 
Oh... forgot to mention, imagine this coming from an 80 year old huge mofo with a cane. He'd prop himself up on the other leg and start waving his cane all over the place and hitting you. And when I say huge, I mean HUGE. He was born and raised in Pittsburgh, coached a bunch of teams there before coming over to Jersey.
 


<< We hit that and all four wheels of the car were airborne, 25-30 feet in the air and we hit a 36-inch tree at about 90mph while in the air. >>



WTF,... you hit a 3 foot tree while 30 feet in the air???

 
I liked my 7th grade Science teachers quotes:

"FRICTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Put your stinkin pens and pencils down!"

"You wanna dance you gotta pay the fiddler"

"What are you trying to pull a zoomy on me?!?"
 
I'm sure these were taken out of context...but still funny 🙂

87) "Squeeze...release...squeeze...release... Basically it's a squeezing motion, then a release."

88) "I take it out every now and then, whack it a few times just to make sure it's working okay."
 
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