Why is an alarm clock going "off" when it actually turns on?
We use term "to go off" when we are talking about events that are expected to happen or 'timed'. Alarms, firecrackers, bombs, they can all be said to go off because the event is expected
If you mated a bull dog and a shitsu, would it be called a bullshit?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xTbRCy2EU1A
If an ambulance is on its way to save someone, and it runs someone over, does it stop to help them?
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-st...lance-runs-over-biker-s-body-115875-23351583/
Why is Grape Nuts cereal called that, when it contains neither grapes, nor nuts?
Just to fuck with people like you
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
The song is about Jimmy Carter
Why is it called a "drive through" if you have to stop?
Technically if you move slow enough you don't have too.
Why does mineral water that has "trickled through mountains for centuries" go out of date next year?
Because it does stale in the bottle. Probably from chemicals leeching into the water from the plastic.
Why are Softballs hard?
Because they are softer than handballs.
Do the minutes on the movie boxes include the previews, credits, and special features, or just the movie itself?
I believe the conversion is to include the movie itself and the end credits,
If the professor on Giligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Have you seen Ginger and Maryann? Who the fuck in their right mind would want to be rescued from them?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but people don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
This is from a well known stand-up comedian I believe. Answer because we all have genitals and know what they are used for, watches have only been around for a couple hundred years, we aren't born with them.
Why is an electrical outlet called an outlet when you plug things into it? Shouldn't it be called an inlet.
Because an outlet is a place where something comes out. In this case it's the place where the electricity comes out.
Why do we scrub Down and wash Up?
This probably has to do with the physical motions involved.
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
Don't know Pluto. I know he's a cartoon dog but can't remember where from. Was Pluto from Popeye?
Can blind people see their dreams?
It stands to reason that people who have been blind from birth don't have visual dreams. Not in the way we do anyway. Their dreams would consist of places as they know them by feel and layout alone.
Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can't go that fast on any road?
Marketing
Why do they call it "getting your dog fixed" if afterwards it doesn't work anymore?
Cause you are fixing the problem?
Why do they call it taking a dump? Shouldn't it be leaving a dump?
Because we can "take" many actions. You can take a nap for example. Or take a break.
Where in the nursery rhyme does it say humpty dumpty is an egg?
Nowhere
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
I was not aware they did this.
Why do banks leave the door wide open but the pens chained to the counter?
Because you can steal the pen. It's hard to steal the door.
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Yes
Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the shower, when he doesn't usually wear any pants?
Society dictates it must be so
How come you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?
Because you hope that the battery is not dead but merely weak. You hope that by pressing harder you will make better contact.
If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?
Hmm that's a good one. I'm guessing the colour may have come from the fruit and not the other way around?
If a cat always lands on its feet, and buttered bread always lands butter side down, what would happen if you tied buttered bread on top of a cat?
Try it and let me know. Make sure someone is filming
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why's it still #2?
Lead hardness is graded by number and letters #2 just happens to be a happy norm people like.
What color would a smurf turn if you choked it?
One can not answer this without knowing more about their anatomy.
Where's the egg in an egg roll?
Inside
Why aren't blue berries blue?
Many are
Where is the lead in a lead pencil?
Just another term for graphite.
Why is Greenland called green when it is covered in ice?
Greenland is owned by Denmark I believe. I'm guessing its original name wasn't Green as in the colour but something that sounds like that in Danish.
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