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Quick! Need an interview safe joke!

R

RichardE

Banned
I have an interview in an hour and I need a work safe/interview safe joke. All the ones I know will not qualify 🙁


Anyone got a good one?
 
Use the one from Tommy Boy, about sticking your head up a butcher's ass to get a good look at a T-Bone.

What field you are in would help picking a related joke.
 
Originally posted by: Engraver
Use the one from Tommy Boy, about sticking your head up a butcher's ass to get a good look at a T-Bone.

What field you are in would help picking a related joke.
Click to expand...

Will be IT on site tech support
 
A very successful partner at a big four firm had a peculiar habit. He will go to his desk open a locked drawer, look inside, lock the drawer again, and start his work. His subordinates knew that he hid the secret of his success in the drawer, they waited for the opportunity. One day when the partner had gone out of the city, the juniors decided to make a break. They broke into the drawer, breathlessly, and looked inside. There was one small piece of paper inside - it said - "left is debit and right is credit."

🙂 just a funny accountant joke
 
Originally posted by: Cuda1447
Wtf do you need a joke for in an interview? Are you
to be a comedian?
Click to expand...

Cause it seems to be a new thing during interviews to ask. I don't want to be the guy going "ugh...umm...I have no jokes, sorry no humor here at all for your laid back kinda workplace"
 
Originally posted by: krunchykrome
A very successful partner is a big six firm had a peculiar habit. He will go to his desk open a locked drawer, look inside, lock the drawer again, and start his work. His subordinates knew that he hid the secret of his success in the drawer, they waited for the opportunity. One day when the partner had gone out of the city, the juniors decided to make a break. They broke into the drawer, breathlessly, and looked inside. There was one small piece of paper inside - it said - "left is debit and right is credit."

🙂 just a funny accountant joke
Click to expand...

Haha, I like it!

<--- Accountant

KT
 
A pirate walks into a bar, and the barkeep says "Excuse me, cap'n, but did you know that you've got your ship's wheel stuck in your pantaloons?"

"Aye," says the pirate, "that thing be drivin' me nuts! Aaargh!"

 
Originally posted by: FoBoT
A pirate walks into a bar, and the barkeep says "Excuse me, cap'n, but did you know that you've got your ship's wheel stuck in your pantaloons?"

"Aye," says the pirate, "that thing be drivin' me nuts! Aaargh!"
Click to expand...

Butchered. 🙁
 
What's the difference between a dump truck full of bowling balls and a dump truck full of dea--you know what? Probably not the best interview joke.

How many programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, that's a hardware problem.
 
Originally posted by: nakedfrog
What's the difference between a dump truck full of bowling balls and a dump truck full of dea--you know what? Probably not the best interview joke.

How many programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, that's a hardware problem.
Click to expand...

Well if you ignore the pitchfork joke 🙂 then the programmer one would be good. I got a chuckle out of it.
 
Originally posted by: theprodigalrebel
"I once farted into the microphone while Microsoft Word?s speech-to-text was running and it typed out ?FRANCE?."
Click to expand...

:laugh:

Mentions technology? CHECK
Fart humor? CHECK
Makes fun of France? CHECK

We have a winner folks. 😉
 
You: Knock knock?
Them: Who is there?
You: Rude interrupting cow
Them: Rude inter...
You: Moo
 
Two rednecks, Earl and BillyBob, were walking through town one day when they came across a school for deductive reasoning. "What is deductive reasoning?" asked Earl. "I don't rightly know" replied BillyBob. BillyBob convinced Earl to go into the school and ask the teacher. Earl went inside and asked the teacher to learn him what deductive reasoning is.

The teacher asked Earl if he owned a weed whacker to which he replied yes. Well, if you own a weed whacker then you must have a yard to which Earl replied yes. If you have a yard then you must have a house to which Earl replied yes. If you have a house then you probably have a wife to which Earl said yes. If you have a wife then you probably have kids to which Earl replied yes. And if you have kids then you must be heterosexual.

The teacher told Earl he just learned what deductive reasoning meant. Earl went back outside to BillyBob all excited that he learned something new. BillyBob asked Earl if he would teach him what he learned. Earl said sure and asked Biilybob if he owned a weed whacker to which BillyBob said no. Then you must be a homosexual.

This one always makes people laugh.
 
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