Quick! Need an interview safe joke!

[RichardE]

I have an interview in an hour and I need a work safe/interview safe joke. All the ones I know will not qualify


Anyone got a good one?

 

[Engraver]

Use the one from Tommy Boy, about sticking your head up a butcher's ass to get a good look at a T-Bone.

What field you are in would help picking a related joke.

 

[RichardE]

Originally posted by: Engraver
Use the one from Tommy Boy, about sticking your head up a butcher's ass to get a good look at a T-Bone.

What field you are in would help picking a related joke.

Will be IT on site tech support

 

[Cuda1447]

Wtf do you need a joke for in an interview? Are you
to be a comedian?

 

[krunchykrome]

A very successful partner at a big four firm had a peculiar habit. He will go to his desk open a locked drawer, look inside, lock the drawer again, and start his work. His subordinates knew that he hid the secret of his success in the drawer, they waited for the opportunity. One day when the partner had gone out of the city, the juniors decided to make a break. They broke into the drawer, breathlessly, and looked inside. There was one small piece of paper inside - it said - "left is debit and right is credit."

just a funny accountant joke

 

[RichardE]

Originally posted by: Cuda1447
Wtf do you need a joke for in an interview? Are you
to be a comedian?

Cause it seems to be a new thing during interviews to ask. I don't want to be the guy going "ugh...umm...I have no jokes, sorry no humor here at all for your laid back kinda workplace"

 

[So]

...better nate than lever. Make handouts.

 

[Chronoshock]

From bash.org:

What time does Sean Connery get to Wimbledon










TEN-ISHHHHHHH

 

[KeithTalent]

Originally posted by: krunchykrome
A very successful partner is a big six firm had a peculiar habit. He will go to his desk open a locked drawer, look inside, lock the drawer again, and start his work. His subordinates knew that he hid the secret of his success in the drawer, they waited for the opportunity. One day when the partner had gone out of the city, the juniors decided to make a break. They broke into the drawer, breathlessly, and looked inside. There was one small piece of paper inside - it said - "left is debit and right is credit."

just a funny accountant joke

Haha, I like it!

<--- Accountant

KT

 

[FoBoT]

A pirate walks into a bar, and the barkeep says "Excuse me, cap'n, but did you know that you've got your ship's wheel stuck in your pantaloons?"

"Aye," says the pirate, "that thing be drivin' me nuts! Aaargh!"

 

[So]

Originally posted by: FoBoT
A pirate walks into a bar, and the barkeep says "Excuse me, cap'n, but did you know that you've got your ship's wheel stuck in your pantaloons?"

"Aye," says the pirate, "that thing be drivin' me nuts! Aaargh!"

Butchered.

 

[nakedfrog]

What's the difference between a dump truck full of bowling balls and a dump truck full of dea--you know what? Probably not the best interview joke.

How many programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, that's a hardware problem.

 

[xdreadpiratedoug]

If they're nerdy, Chuck Norris jokes are always great ...

 

[silverpig]

Originally posted by: Chronoshock
From bash.org:

What time does Sean Connery get to Wimbledon










TEN-ISHHHHHHH

lol


So this family walks into a talent agency...

 

[The Boston Dangler]

Originally posted by: silverpig

Originally posted by: Chronoshock
From bash.org:

What time does Sean Connery get to Wimbledon










TEN-ISHHHHHHH

lol


So this family walks into a talent agency...

dammit! you beat me to the aristocrats!

 

[Tobolo]

Originally posted by: nakedfrog
What's the difference between a dump truck full of bowling balls and a dump truck full of dea--you know what? Probably not the best interview joke.

How many programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, that's a hardware problem.

Well if you ignore the pitchfork joke then the programmer one would be good. I got a chuckle out of it.

 

[James Bond]

So, there's a man crawling through the desert.

http://forums.anandtech.com/me...ht_key=y&keyword1=nate

 

[theprodigalrebel]

"I once farted into the microphone while Microsoft Word?s speech-to-text was running and it typed out ?FRANCE?."

 

[krunchykrome]

Originally posted by: theprodigalrebel
"I once farted into the microphone while Microsoft Word?s speech-to-text was running and it typed out ?FRANCE?."

:laugh:

 

[MrChad]

Originally posted by: theprodigalrebel
"I once farted into the microphone while Microsoft Word?s speech-to-text was running and it typed out ?FRANCE?."

:laugh:

Mentions technology? CHECK
Fart humor? CHECK
Makes fun of France? CHECK

We have a winner folks.

 

[AMCRambler]

Two peanuts are walking through the subway.
One was a salted.

 

[FP]

You: Knock knock?
Them: Who is there?
You: Rude interrupting cow
Them: Rude inter...
You: Moo

 

[KB]

Two rednecks, Earl and BillyBob, were walking through town one day when they came across a school for deductive reasoning. "What is deductive reasoning?" asked Earl. "I don't rightly know" replied BillyBob. BillyBob convinced Earl to go into the school and ask the teacher. Earl went inside and asked the teacher to learn him what deductive reasoning is.

The teacher asked Earl if he owned a weed whacker to which he replied yes. Well, if you own a weed whacker then you must have a yard to which Earl replied yes. If you have a yard then you must have a house to which Earl replied yes. If you have a house then you probably have a wife to which Earl said yes. If you have a wife then you probably have kids to which Earl replied yes. And if you have kids then you must be heterosexual.

The teacher told Earl he just learned what deductive reasoning meant. Earl went back outside to BillyBob all excited that he learned something new. BillyBob asked Earl if he would teach him what he learned. Earl said sure and asked Biilybob if he owned a weed whacker to which BillyBob said no. Then you must be a homosexual.

This one always makes people laugh.