Quick!!! I need a really funny clean joke.
- Thread starter Windogg
- Start date
what do you call someone elses cheese?
na-cho cheese
an atom walks into a baR say to the bartender:
i think ive lost an electron
baretender says are you sure?
electon replies ofcourse im positve
ba-doom ching!
*kat. <-- her favs
na-cho cheese
an atom walks into a baR say to the bartender:
i think ive lost an electron
baretender says are you sure?
electon replies ofcourse im positve
ba-doom ching!
*kat. <-- her favs
a string walks into the bar and ask for a drink the bartener says we dont serve your kind here and kicked him out
The string walks outside and unravels the top of his head and walks back in
Once again he ask the bartender for a drink,.
The bartender replies "Arent you the same string I just kicked out
The string replies " No i am afraid knot"
LOL LMAO
The string walks outside and unravels the top of his head and walks back in
Once again he ask the bartender for a drink,.
The bartender replies "Arent you the same string I just kicked out
The string replies " No i am afraid knot"
LOL LMAO
A priest, a Rabbi, and a Lawyer walk into a bar.
The bartender turns, looks at them and says, "What is this? The beginning of a joke??"
amish
The bartender turns, looks at them and says, "What is this? The beginning of a joke??"
amish
Bubba was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there
is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."
Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Bubba how about
Tom Cruise?"
"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it." So Bubba and
his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure
enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, "Bubba! Great to see you! You and your
friend come right in and join me for lunch!"
Although impressed, Bubba's boss is still skeptical. After they leave
Cruise's house, he tells Bubba that he thinks Bubba's knowing Cruise was
just lucky.
"No, no, just name anyone else," Bubba says.
"President Clinton," his boss quickly retorts.
"Yes," Bubba says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington."
And off they go. At the White House, Clinton spots Bubb on the tour and
motions him and his boss over, saying, "Bubba, what a surprise, I was
just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and
let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up."
Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced.
After they leave the White house grounds, he expresses his doubts to
Bubba, who again implores him to name anyone else.
"The Pope," his boss replies.
"Sure!" says Bubba.
"My folks are from Poland, and I've known the Pope a long time."
So off they fly to Rome. Bubba and his boss are assembled with the
masses in Vatican Square when Bubba says, "This will never work. I can't
catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all
the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony
with the Pope."
And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough,
half an hour later Bubba emerges with the Pope on the balcony. But by
the time Bubba returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack
and is surrounded by paramedics.
Working his way to his boss' side, Bubba asks him, "What happened?"
His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope
came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, "Who's that on the
balcony with Bubba?"
is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."
Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Bubba how about
Tom Cruise?"
"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it." So Bubba and
his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure
enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, "Bubba! Great to see you! You and your
friend come right in and join me for lunch!"
Although impressed, Bubba's boss is still skeptical. After they leave
Cruise's house, he tells Bubba that he thinks Bubba's knowing Cruise was
just lucky.
"No, no, just name anyone else," Bubba says.
"President Clinton," his boss quickly retorts.
"Yes," Bubba says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington."
And off they go. At the White House, Clinton spots Bubb on the tour and
motions him and his boss over, saying, "Bubba, what a surprise, I was
just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and
let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up."
Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced.
After they leave the White house grounds, he expresses his doubts to
Bubba, who again implores him to name anyone else.
"The Pope," his boss replies.
"Sure!" says Bubba.
"My folks are from Poland, and I've known the Pope a long time."
So off they fly to Rome. Bubba and his boss are assembled with the
masses in Vatican Square when Bubba says, "This will never work. I can't
catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all
the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony
with the Pope."
And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough,
half an hour later Bubba emerges with the Pope on the balcony. But by
the time Bubba returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack
and is surrounded by paramedics.
Working his way to his boss' side, Bubba asks him, "What happened?"
His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope
came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, "Who's that on the
balcony with Bubba?"
Q: Why do elephants have flat feet?
A: From chasing the natives through the jungle.
Q: What's that brown stuff between elephant's toes?
A: Slow natives.
Viper GTS
A: From chasing the natives through the jungle.
Q: What's that brown stuff between elephant's toes?
A: Slow natives.
Viper GTS
Four older ladies are sitting around playing bridge.
The first lady says, "You know girls, I have known you all a
long time and there is something I must get off my chest.
I am a Kleptomaniac. But, don't worry, I have never stolen from
you and I never will; we have been friends for too long."
The second lady says, "Well, since we are having true confessions
here, I must get something off my chest too. I am a Nymphomaniac.
But don't worry, I have not hit on your husbands. They don't interest
me and never will; we have been friends for too long."
"Well," says the third lady, "I, too, must confess something. I am a
Lesbian. But do not worry, I will not hit on you. You are not my type.
We have been friends too long for me to ruin our friendship."
The fourth lady stands up, says, "I have a confession to make also.
I am an uncontrolable gossip, and I have some phone calls to make!"
The first lady says, "You know girls, I have known you all a
long time and there is something I must get off my chest.
I am a Kleptomaniac. But, don't worry, I have never stolen from
you and I never will; we have been friends for too long."
The second lady says, "Well, since we are having true confessions
here, I must get something off my chest too. I am a Nymphomaniac.
But don't worry, I have not hit on your husbands. They don't interest
me and never will; we have been friends for too long."
"Well," says the third lady, "I, too, must confess something. I am a
Lesbian. But do not worry, I will not hit on you. You are not my type.
We have been friends too long for me to ruin our friendship."
The fourth lady stands up, says, "I have a confession to make also.
I am an uncontrolable gossip, and I have some phone calls to make!"
A frog hops out of the swamp one day and hops to the local bank. He hops through the sliding doors and goes to the teller. Reading the nametag, he says "Hello Ms. Black, I would like a loan please."
Ms. Black replies "Call me Patty, please.. and to get a loan we would need some collateral".
"Of course", replies the frog, "how about this?"
And he hands her a small object that is very pretty, but rather odd. Patty does not quite know what it is, although being made of gold it must be valuable. Still, she tells the frog:
"OK, but I'll need to take this to my manager for aproval".
So she takes the object over to her boss and says "That frog would like a loan, and this is his collateral... what is it?"
The manager looks at the object and says...
"Its a knick-knack Patty Black, give the frog a loan!"
Badum-ching! Thanks, I'll be here all week - don't forget to tip your servers...
Ms. Black replies "Call me Patty, please.. and to get a loan we would need some collateral".
"Of course", replies the frog, "how about this?"
And he hands her a small object that is very pretty, but rather odd. Patty does not quite know what it is, although being made of gold it must be valuable. Still, she tells the frog:
"OK, but I'll need to take this to my manager for aproval".
So she takes the object over to her boss and says "That frog would like a loan, and this is his collateral... what is it?"
The manager looks at the object and says...
"Its a knick-knack Patty Black, give the frog a loan!"
Badum-ching! Thanks, I'll be here all week - don't forget to tip your servers...
A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, ?Get me a beer before it starts.?
The wife sighs and gets him a beer.
Fifteen minutes later, the man says, ?Get me another beer before it starts.?
She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him.
He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, ?Quick, get me another beer, it's going to start any minute.?
The wife is furious. She yells at him, ?Is that all you're going to do tonight? Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? You?re nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob, and furthermore??
The man sighs and says, ?It?s started??
The wife sighs and gets him a beer.
Fifteen minutes later, the man says, ?Get me another beer before it starts.?
She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him.
He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, ?Quick, get me another beer, it's going to start any minute.?
The wife is furious. She yells at him, ?Is that all you're going to do tonight? Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? You?re nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob, and furthermore??
The man sighs and says, ?It?s started??
I used Viper GTS's.
It needed to be short and clean so I could dump it in a broadcast message. After it was done, there was a lot of moaning and groaning but people enjoyed it.
It needed to be short and clean so I could dump it in a broadcast message. After it was done, there was a lot of moaning and groaning but people enjoyed it.
I'll be accepting donations for my new DVD player now. PayPal is preferred, MO acceptable. PayPal ID is vipergts@teleport.com, PM me for mailing address.
Viper GTS
Viper GTS
How would I go about shipping jack sh|t to you viper?
Actually i have a couple crappy dvds you can have if you ever get it
Actually i have a couple crappy dvds you can have if you ever get it
If I ever get it? Just a matter of when, my son. You can send them to me if you'd like, I'm sure my Wega would be a better home for them.
Viper GTS
Viper GTS
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