Questions for parents on the board ....

[djheater]

Originally posted by: moshquerade
for those parents who condone leashes, doesn't it make your child want to run away from you even more when he/she isn't leashed. you know, like a dog would.

Children aren't dogs Mosh. That's a silly question.

 

[Queasy]

Hehe...when my wife and I were at Disney a couple of weeks ago I saw quite a few kiddie leashes. One kid was cracking me up because he would just lean forward and have his mom support him from falling on his face.

Neither my wife or I would do a leash ourselves. We'd rather teach our kids what is right and make them understand that they have to stay near mommy and daddy. Granted it doesn't always work but it part of the learning process for the kids.

 

[moshquerade]

Originally posted by: djheater

Originally posted by: moshquerade
for those parents who condone leashes, doesn't it make your child want to run away from you even more when he/she isn't leashed. you know, like a dog would.

Children aren't dogs Mosh. That's a silly question.

that's a silly answer.

i am asking if after being tied up like that if it promotes the child running away when he/she isn't bound.

 

[djheater]

Originally posted by: shimsham

Originally posted by: acemcmac
When my parents took me sailing, I was tethered to the mast with a harness and leash at just the right legnth so that I couldn't jump overboard. I think that was an exelent decision (not that I remember it) in retrospect because I have a very healthy respect for the water and seamanship. To this day, I consider the waters of the Northern Chesapeake my home.

Really scarred me :roll:

id compare that to a seatbelt in a car, not a leash in a grocery store.

i also think it was an excellent decison, since they were sailing the boat and had to keep their attention on that and a child.

I completely agree... I would ceratinly use a leash on the deck of a boat, but it's unlikely I would be on one, Sailing is something I would choose not to do with young children.

 

[Descartes]

Originally posted by: djheater

Originally posted by: Descartes

Originally posted by: djheater

Originally posted by: Descartes

Originally posted by: djheater

Originally posted by: Descartes

Originally posted by: djheater

Originally posted by: shimsham
have children, would never use them.

children need to listen and obey their parents, not respond to a leash.

Agreed.

Children are capable of learning self control...
Now a leash might be appropriate if you were taking an 18mo old to the grand canyon scenic overlook, but the reality is you shouldn't bring your child there.

How about less leashes more smart parenting. If you need a leash to control your child stay home.

Don't be ridiculous. Even a well-behaved child still makes wrong decisions. What about the child that decides to dive out into the street chasing a ball or something by accident? Given proper time to rationalize their behavior they might not do such a thing, but a typical 3 year old might be more excited by the ball than the truck flying at their head.

"Leashes", if we want to call them that, do exactly what the OP has implies: They still have a degree of freedom while keeping them within absolute boundaries of safety as defined by the parent. If everyone made perfect decisions and had "smart parenting" and completely rational minds then we wouldn't need adult leashes either... seatbelts.

Accidents happen; take precaution. That is smart parenting, imo.

If you need a leash to control your child stay home.

All the dangerous circumstances you mentioned could be avoided by staying home. I don't expect my 1 year old can behave themselves in for the duration of a movie, so I don't bring them there.
I don't expect that my 4.5 year old can walk around the mall for 4 hours without eventually becoming exhausted and irritable, so I keep shopping trips short or get a babysitter.

In your specific example, my children don't play near the street, ever, and the absolute boundary of safety is in my line of sight.

A child that darts into traffic, should not have been in a position to do so in the first place. No leash needed.

Now, the seatbelt analogy, that is ridiculous.

Thanks for bolding it, because now it makes more sense. Stay home? That's a great suggestion. If you can't address a problem then just avoid it. Do you teach this profound philosophy to your children too?

It's great that you're children perform perfectly within the bounds set by you. You must be the exception.

A tether is clearly not addressing the problem anymore than a straightjacket addresses a psychotic episode.

A straightjacket is a damn solution if it's preventing them from harming themselves. What's so hard to understand about that? What would you recommend then?

It's great that your children are practically automaton, but that's not been my experience. In crowded environments especially, it only takes a second for their capricious interest to carry them somewhere beyond their strict adherence to your standards.

Most certainly a straightjacket does contain an episode, but it treats the symptom, wouldn't you agree?

I do agree, and I agree that a child should be self-governing enough to know better as well; treat the problem (their behavior) and not the symptom. I agree to that.

Descartes, you misunderstand. My children are as bratty as the next, (well maybe slightly better than average, I only have girls ), we really do limit ourselves because of our children. There are places we don't go and things we don't do, because we have young children. If you've found that using a tether helps your family good for you. We won't use them, call it a philosophical difference.

I think we are all actually agreeing to some extent. I actually see the philisophical conflict, but my concern gets the better of me. Perhaps use of such a device is actually more of a reflection on me than it would be the child.

It's been a good discussion. Gives me something to think about

 

[djheater]

Originally posted by: moshquerade

Originally posted by: djheater

Originally posted by: moshquerade
for those parents who condone leashes, doesn't it make your child want to run away from you even more when he/she isn't leashed. you know, like a dog would.

Children aren't dogs Mosh. That's a silly question.

that's a silly answer.

i am asking if after being tied up like that if it promotes the child running away when he/she isn't bound.

Well, I don't think there's any hard data, but I would say I doubt it.
Why should it?

 

[moshquerade]

Originally posted by: djheater

Originally posted by: moshquerade

Originally posted by: djheater

Originally posted by: moshquerade
for those parents who condone leashes, doesn't it make your child want to run away from you even more when he/she isn't leashed. you know, like a dog would.

Children aren't dogs Mosh. That's a silly question.

that's a silly answer.

i am asking if after being tied up like that if it promotes the child running away when he/she isn't bound.

Well, I don't think there's any hard data, but I would say I doubt it.
Why should it?

that's a better answer, thanks.

i just wanted to get some perspective on that idea.

 

[dabuddha]

Definitely will use them. Using them has nothing to do with making your child behave. All it takes is a split second for your child to run out in traffic or what not. You can teach/discipline them all you want but kids will still sometimes do things that are stupid. Usually you're lucky and can spank the crap out of them but all it takes is one time :/

 

[Descartes]

Just curious...

What do you all think of car seats?

 

[Queasy]

Originally posted by: Descartes
Just curious...

What do you all think of car seats?

I think it is the law in Georgia that small kids have to ride in them.

I remember riding in the very back of my parents station wagon while growing up and sliding all over the place when my mom took a turn hard.

 

[shimsham]

Originally posted by: Descartes

Originally posted by: shimsham

Originally posted by: Descartes

Originally posted by: djheater

Originally posted by: Descartes

Originally posted by: djheater

Originally posted by: Descartes

Originally posted by: djheater

Originally posted by: shimsham
have children, would never use them.

children need to listen and obey their parents, not respond to a leash.

Agreed.

Children are capable of learning self control...
Now a leash might be appropriate if you were taking an 18mo old to the grand canyon scenic overlook, but the reality is you shouldn't bring your child there.

How about less leashes more smart parenting. If you need a leash to control your child stay home.

Don't be ridiculous. Even a well-behaved child still makes wrong decisions. What about the child that decides to dive out into the street chasing a ball or something by accident? Given proper time to rationalize their behavior they might not do such a thing, but a typical 3 year old might be more excited by the ball than the truck flying at their head.

"Leashes", if we want to call them that, do exactly what the OP has implies: They still have a degree of freedom while keeping them within absolute boundaries of safety as defined by the parent. If everyone made perfect decisions and had "smart parenting" and completely rational minds then we wouldn't need adult leashes either... seatbelts.

Accidents happen; take precaution. That is smart parenting, imo.

If you need a leash to control your child stay home.

All the dangerous circumstances you mentioned could be avoided by staying home. I don't expect my 1 year old can behave themselves in for the duration of a movie, so I don't bring them there.
I don't expect that my 4.5 year old can walk around the mall for 4 hours without eventually becoming exhausted and irritable, so I keep shopping trips short or get a babysitter.

In your specific example, my children don't play near the street, ever, and the absolute boundary of safety is in my line of sight.

A child that darts into traffic, should not have been in a position to do so in the first place. No leash needed.

Now, the seatbelt analogy, that is ridiculous.

Thanks for bolding it, because now it makes more sense. Stay home? That's a great suggestion. If you can't address a problem then just avoid it. Do you teach this profound philosophy to your children too?

It's great that you're children perform perfectly within the bounds set by you. You must be the exception.

A tether is clearly not addressing the problem anymore than a straightjacket addresses a psychotic episode.

A straightjacket is a damn solution if it's preventing them from harming themselves. What's so hard to understand about that? What would you recommend then?

It's great that your children are practically automaton, but that's not been my experience. In crowded environments especially, it only takes a second for their capricious interest to carry them somewhere beyond their strict adherence to your standards.

so just hold their hand? no need for a leash.

what do you feel is more effective for learning? a leash stopping a child at x ft., or a fathers/mothers hand holding theirs to stop them from running off?

Holding their hand is fine. To me it's the same concept of a leash; both bound their behavior to the parent. The only difference at this point would be you're required to hold the child's hand the entire time, and if you're in a position to do that without relapse then I take no issue.

Anyway, in my experience these things just don't happen, and it's always that one "I only looked away for a second!" moment that counts. I just want to do whatever I can to prevent such moments.

i just always tried to stay away from situations when i couldnt drop everything and gvie total attention to my children when need be. i know im not superman, and far from it.

i should clarify that my answere was just my personal opinion with my and my children. i dont look down on parents that have leashes, just as i dont look down on parents that spank/dont spank, etc. different kids call for different styles.

i just always wanted to hold thier hands anyway. now that my children are 8 and 10, theyd rather die than hold dads hand in public.

 

[JulesMaximus]

Originally posted by: djheater

Originally posted by: shimsham

Originally posted by: acemcmac
When my parents took me sailing, I was tethered to the mast with a harness and leash at just the right legnth so that I couldn't jump overboard. I think that was an exelent decision (not that I remember it) in retrospect because I have a very healthy respect for the water and seamanship. To this day, I consider the waters of the Northern Chesapeake my home.

Really scarred me :roll:

id compare that to a seatbelt in a car, not a leash in a grocery store.

i also think it was an excellent decison, since they were sailing the boat and had to keep their attention on that and a child.

I completely agree... I would ceratinly use a leash on the deck of a boat, but it's unlikely I would be on one, Sailing is something I would choose not to do with young children.

I completely disagree. That's what PFD's are for. Your kid should be wearing a life vest on a boat. I was sailing at age 5 and my parents never had me teathered to the damn boat. What if the boat sinks? Child goes down with the ship? Dumbest fvcking idea ever!

If the child falls overboard and is wearing a life vest he'll just bob there in the water until you turn the boat around to pick him up.

 

[djheater]

Originally posted by: Descartes
Just curious...

What do you all think of car seats?

There are a lot of them. I think it's important to do enough research to be comfortable with what you're getting.
Some can be dangerous.

Boosters are great, when your kids are old enough.

 

[MixMasterTang]

Originally posted by: shimsham
have children, would never use them.

children need to listen and obey their parents, not respond to a leash.

I agree completely. By using some sort of restraint on your child you never really teach them how to act/behave in a proper way.

 

[djheater]

Originally posted by: JulesMaximus

Originally posted by: djheater

Originally posted by: shimsham

Originally posted by: acemcmac
When my parents took me sailing, I was tethered to the mast with a harness and leash at just the right legnth so that I couldn't jump overboard. I think that was an exelent decision (not that I remember it) in retrospect because I have a very healthy respect for the water and seamanship. To this day, I consider the waters of the Northern Chesapeake my home.

Really scarred me :roll:

id compare that to a seatbelt in a car, not a leash in a grocery store.

i also think it was an excellent decison, since they were sailing the boat and had to keep their attention on that and a child.

I completely agree... I would ceratinly use a leash on the deck of a boat, but it's unlikely I would be on one, Sailing is something I would choose not to do with young children.

I completely disagree. That's what PFD's are for. Your kid should be wearing a life vest on a boat. I was sailing at age 5 and my parents never had me teathered to the damn boat. What if the boat sinks? Child goes down with the ship? Dumbest fvcking idea ever!

If the child falls overboard and is wearing a life vest he'll just bob there in the water until you turn the boat around to pick him up.

Can I revise my answer to be "I would seek the advice of a sailor"? I've never been on a boat, and haven't the slightest idea what would be safe.

 

[shimsham]

Originally posted by: JulesMaximus

Originally posted by: djheater

Originally posted by: shimsham

Originally posted by: acemcmac
When my parents took me sailing, I was tethered to the mast with a harness and leash at just the right legnth so that I couldn't jump overboard. I think that was an exelent decision (not that I remember it) in retrospect because I have a very healthy respect for the water and seamanship. To this day, I consider the waters of the Northern Chesapeake my home.

Really scarred me :roll:

id compare that to a seatbelt in a car, not a leash in a grocery store.

i also think it was an excellent decison, since they were sailing the boat and had to keep their attention on that and a child.

I completely agree... I would ceratinly use a leash on the deck of a boat, but it's unlikely I would be on one, Sailing is something I would choose not to do with young children.

I completely disagree. That's what PFD's are for. Your kid should be wearing a life vest on a boat. I was sailing at age 5 and my parents never had me teathered to the damn boat. What if the boat sinks? Child goes down with the ship? Dumbest fvcking idea ever!

If the child falls overboard and is wearing a life vest he'll just bob there in the water until you turn the boat around to pick him up.

well, i was assuming he already had a life jacket on and the tether was in additon to.

 

[Descartes]

Originally posted by: shimsham

Originally posted by: Descartes

Originally posted by: shimsham

Originally posted by: Descartes

Originally posted by: djheater

Originally posted by: Descartes

Originally posted by: djheater

Originally posted by: Descartes

Originally posted by: djheater

Originally posted by: shimsham
have children, would never use them.

children need to listen and obey their parents, not respond to a leash.

Agreed.

Children are capable of learning self control...
Now a leash might be appropriate if you were taking an 18mo old to the grand canyon scenic overlook, but the reality is you shouldn't bring your child there.

How about less leashes more smart parenting. If you need a leash to control your child stay home.

Don't be ridiculous. Even a well-behaved child still makes wrong decisions. What about the child that decides to dive out into the street chasing a ball or something by accident? Given proper time to rationalize their behavior they might not do such a thing, but a typical 3 year old might be more excited by the ball than the truck flying at their head.

"Leashes", if we want to call them that, do exactly what the OP has implies: They still have a degree of freedom while keeping them within absolute boundaries of safety as defined by the parent. If everyone made perfect decisions and had "smart parenting" and completely rational minds then we wouldn't need adult leashes either... seatbelts.

Accidents happen; take precaution. That is smart parenting, imo.

If you need a leash to control your child stay home.

All the dangerous circumstances you mentioned could be avoided by staying home. I don't expect my 1 year old can behave themselves in for the duration of a movie, so I don't bring them there.
I don't expect that my 4.5 year old can walk around the mall for 4 hours without eventually becoming exhausted and irritable, so I keep shopping trips short or get a babysitter.

In your specific example, my children don't play near the street, ever, and the absolute boundary of safety is in my line of sight.

A child that darts into traffic, should not have been in a position to do so in the first place. No leash needed.

Now, the seatbelt analogy, that is ridiculous.

Thanks for bolding it, because now it makes more sense. Stay home? That's a great suggestion. If you can't address a problem then just avoid it. Do you teach this profound philosophy to your children too?

It's great that you're children perform perfectly within the bounds set by you. You must be the exception.

A tether is clearly not addressing the problem anymore than a straightjacket addresses a psychotic episode.

A straightjacket is a damn solution if it's preventing them from harming themselves. What's so hard to understand about that? What would you recommend then?

It's great that your children are practically automaton, but that's not been my experience. In crowded environments especially, it only takes a second for their capricious interest to carry them somewhere beyond their strict adherence to your standards.

so just hold their hand? no need for a leash.

what do you feel is more effective for learning? a leash stopping a child at x ft., or a fathers/mothers hand holding theirs to stop them from running off?

Holding their hand is fine. To me it's the same concept of a leash; both bound their behavior to the parent. The only difference at this point would be you're required to hold the child's hand the entire time, and if you're in a position to do that without relapse then I take no issue.

Anyway, in my experience these things just don't happen, and it's always that one "I only looked away for a second!" moment that counts. I just want to do whatever I can to prevent such moments.

i just always tried to stay away from situations when i couldnt drop everything and gvie total attention to my children when need be. i know im not superman, and far from it.

i should clarify that my answere was just my personal opinion with my and my children. i dont look down on parents that have leashes, just as i dont look down on parents that spank/dont spank, etc. different kids call for different styles.

i just always wanted to hold thier hands anyway. now that my children are 8 and 10, theyd rather die than hold dads hand in public.

Yeah, I started shunning parental control when I was fairly young too. I used to push my own stroller when I was a kid Not sure what point I was trying to get across...

I guess my philosophy of risk management is a little more pessimistic. I assume the worst can happen and start from there. Above all I acknowledge my own fallability and assume that I'll make a mistake when it's most crucial that I not.

 

[AmerDoux]

Kids have their own neat little personalities. Some of them are more compulsive than others, other kids behave for the better part of the time. If you end up with a little ah heck that likes to dash off (three-year old comes to mind), then a leash may be warranted. It just depends on the kid, their developmental stage, and their little personality. Certainly it does not take the place of parenting and it shouldn't replace parenting either. But sometimes it is a temporary safety issue.

That was a long-winded way of saying "It depends"

Edit: BTW, I am a parent.

 

[Viper GTS]

My parents caught all kinds of crap from leashing me when I was a baby, & I turned out fine. No behavior problems, & guess what - I don't even remember it!

A leash is not about control, it's a safety net. IMO it's much better to have them on a leash than to make them walk around with their arm straight up in the air all day (holding your hand). Plus all of the already mentioned benefits, giving them some sense of freedom & the ability to explore in a controlled environment.

Viper GTS

 

[GuitarDaddy]

My mom was way ahead of her time She carried a regular dog leash in her purse and she used it a couple of times clipped to my belt loop. (1960-62)

But mainly it was a deterrent that she threatened me with, "If you wander away again I'm putting you on the lease". The couple of times she used it , it was so humiliating that I learned to stay close

 

[Jeraden]

We got one to use on our son when he was around 2 when we were going on vacation. I remember using it at an airport so he wouldn't run off and get trampled on by all the people. It didn't really work all that well from what I remember, he'd end up running to the end of it and falling down. Plus everyone stared at it in fascination so it was kind of embarrassing. Guess it got the job done in that situation though, but I don't think we ever used it since then.

 

[Armitage]

Originally posted by: shimsham

Originally posted by: JulesMaximus

Originally posted by: djheater

Originally posted by: shimsham

Originally posted by: acemcmac
When my parents took me sailing, I was tethered to the mast with a harness and leash at just the right legnth so that I couldn't jump overboard. I think that was an exelent decision (not that I remember it) in retrospect because I have a very healthy respect for the water and seamanship. To this day, I consider the waters of the Northern Chesapeake my home.

Really scarred me :roll:

id compare that to a seatbelt in a car, not a leash in a grocery store.

i also think it was an excellent decison, since they were sailing the boat and had to keep their attention on that and a child.

I completely agree... I would ceratinly use a leash on the deck of a boat, but it's unlikely I would be on one, Sailing is something I would choose not to do with young children.

I completely disagree. That's what PFD's are for. Your kid should be wearing a life vest on a boat. I was sailing at age 5 and my parents never had me teathered to the damn boat. What if the boat sinks? Child goes down with the ship? Dumbest fvcking idea ever!

If the child falls overboard and is wearing a life vest he'll just bob there in the water until you turn the boat around to pick him up.

well, i was assuming he already had a life jacket on and the tether was in additon to.

Still a bad idea - if the boat capsizes or sinks, the kid is now pulled down with it. With just a PFD they have a chance to float free.

 

[shimsham]

^^ thats true also.

im not a boat guy.

 

[Pliablemoose]

Depends on the kid.

Only once when my daughter was a toddler did I wish I had a leash, she was 4, saw a jetliner coming for a landing, we were in a parking lot & she screamed airplane & ran full speed across the parking lot.

I thought she was dead meat.

Now if I had an ADD kid, I'd want to have them on a leash.

 

[Cooler]

Child leashes show lack of trust.