Questions about Dating.

[Danman]

I have been dating this girl for the past two weeks and I have a couple questions to ask my fellow ATOT'ers. This is my first girlfriend so I wouldn't know anything about this. Anyways, I pay for every single thing we have been doing. For the movies, dinners, snacks and all that other crap. Plus I had to but birthday gifts for one of her friends for the party which said from both of us. Is this normal? Am I going to be stone broke in another month? I already spent over 100 dollars the past two weeks on her.........post your thoughts.

 

[gopunk]

the birthday present part was abnormal in my opinion. if you're going broke, just ask her to split stuff with you, or do cheaper things.

 

[AreaCode707]

<< I have been dating this girl for the past two weeks and I have a couple questions to ask my fellow ATOT'ers. This is my first girlfriend so I wouldn't know anything about this. Anyways, I pay for every single thing we have been doing. For the movies, dinners, snacks and all that other crap. Plus I had to but birthday gifts for one of her friends for the party which said from both of us. Is this normal? Am I going to be stone broke in another month? I already spent over 100 dollars the past two weeks on her.........post your thoughts. >>



She should be offering to pay for some things, and you should sometimes accept it. My bf and I split things up pretty evenly, if one pays once, the other pays the next time. This excepts special dates, like if I invite him out specifically to do something then I pay for it all. But sounds like you may have found yourself a leech, check her background and find out if she attaches herself to guys like this on a regular basis and makes it a pattern.

 

[Koing]

well I've not dated alot. Infact I've only really been seeing one girl and I'm still seeing her. In our outings we share, not to split the bills but she pays for some things and I pay for other things. Most of the time I want to pay and do pay but others she'll pay and refuse to let me pay.

She should offer to pay for some things. If your not happy paying for everything and why should you? Then tell her. Better to find out now then latezzz.

 

[pulse8]

<< the birthday present part was abnormal in my opinion. if you're going broke, just ask her to split stuff with you, or do cheaper things. >>


Ditto. The birthday thing was definitely abnormal.

 

[Danman]

<<

<< I have been dating this girl for the past two weeks and I have a couple questions to ask my fellow ATOT'ers. This is my first girlfriend so I wouldn't know anything about this. Anyways, I pay for every single thing we have been doing. For the movies, dinners, snacks and all that other crap. Plus I had to but birthday gifts for one of her friends for the party which said from both of us. Is this normal? Am I going to be stone broke in another month? I already spent over 100 dollars the past two weeks on her.........post your thoughts. >>



She should be offering to pay for some things, and you should sometimes accept it. My bf and I split things up pretty evenly, if one pays once, the other pays the next time. This excepts special dates, like if I invite him out specifically to do something then I pay for it all. But sounds like you may have found yourself a leech, check her background and find out if she attaches herself to guys like this on a regular basis and makes it a pattern. >>



She never offered for not one thing at all yet. I don't have a problem spending the money but when I am out of it there is no fun anymore. I don't have a job either so there is no income coming in, only out.

 

[pulse8]

I can't believe this even has to be discussed, but...

Tell her your situation, if she runs then forget the b!tch and if she responds nicely, then continue accordingly.

This isn't rocket science.

 

[Atlantean]

I would tell her that I am not going to be able to afford to keep paying for everything, and if she likes you and is not a girl that just likes guys cause they pay for stuff then she will probably say, oh I am sorry I didn't realize that you were spending so much.

 

[gopunk]

She never offered for not one thing at all yet. I don't have a problem spending the money but when I am out of it there is no fun anymore. I don't have a job either so there is no income coming in, only out.

no job? then you should definitely be splitting it. seriously, you *don't* want to go broke just for some girl. that is not the way to go about life...

 

[weezergirl]

well, u are the "cashman".

 

[gopunk]

<< well, u are the "cashman". >>



har har

 

[Danman]

<< well, u are the "cashman". >>



Well that's what my friends call me because their parents didn't go to college and are poor while my dad went to college and works at Sun Microsystems with a kick ass job. My main income is from For Sale/Trade and building computers for other people which hasn't been all that great lately. Plus, I am 16 too.

 

[NikPreviousAcct]

<< I have been dating this girl for the past two weeks and I have a couple questions to ask my fellow ATOT'ers. This is my first girlfriend so I wouldn't know anything about this. Anyways, I pay for every single thing we have been doing. For the movies, dinners, snacks and all that other crap. Plus I had to but birthday gifts for one of her friends for the party which said from both of us. Is this normal? Am I going to be stone broke in another month? I already spent over 100 dollars the past two weeks on her.........post your thoughts. >>

I kept myself broke for six months spending whenever I could on my girl. It's totally worth it, but probably isn't the smartest idea if you've got priorities like paying for school and transportation.

Nik

 

[cjchaps]

That was one of the first conversations that my girlfriend and I had.... She told me she felt bad when the guy pay for everything, and so we just kinda decide who pays. We don't intentionally split down the middle, it's just that I will buy dinner one night, and her the next. It's not biggie. Also, does your new girlfriend have money? If you are 16, I assume she is around your age as well, and therefor probably doesn't have much cash either. It could be embarrassing to ask her to help pay for stuff when she can't.

 

[Danman]

<< That was one of the first conversations that my girlfriend and I had.... She told me she felt bad when the guy pay for everything, and so we just kinda decide who pays. We don't intentionally split down the middle, it's just that I will buy dinner one night, and her the next. It's not biggie. Also, does your new girlfriend have money? If you are 16, I assume she is around your age as well, and therefor probably doesn't have much cash either. It could be embarrassing to ask her to help pay for stuff when she can't. >>




Yea, she has some money, not a lot though.

 

[gopunk]

Yea, she has some money, not a lot though.

well what are you going to do?

 

[Scarpozzi]

Did you score though? I mean, $100 can buy a couple of years of Playboy. Re-evaluate your relationship if the answer is no.


Edit: j/k....I couldn't keep a straight face. Talk to her about it...casually bring up that you don't have a lot of cash flow. If you were meant to be, money shouldn't be an issue anyhow....especially if she likes you for you instead of your collection of DVDs or however that song goes.

 

[Danman]

<< Yea, she has some money, not a lot though.

well what are you going to do? >>



I don't know...........

 

[AreaCode707]

Well, if you're the one doing most/all of the planning for what the two of you do when you're together, start toning it down. Rent movies, make dinner, etc. Check out the 'Dating under $10' section here. Dating is about enjoying one another's company, not expensive evenings.

 

[shazbot]

you=bitch.

seriously though, its only 2 weeks, everything 'cept that bday thing sounded outa wack. Give it a month or so, and if she doesn't start offering to pay for stuff, dump the trick. ain't worth your time. That date money could be better spent on hookers.

 

[weezergirl]

well the only real advice i can give u is to stop paying for everything now. or else she will definitely get used to it and u will always be expected to pay for everything and that sucks.

personally, i wouldn't go for a person that didn't want to help pay at least once in awhile. that's not fair, doesn't she even think about you? don't you want to be with a girl who's a bit more considerate than that?

i hate girls who think of themselves as princesses. give me a break...

 

[MrDingleDangle]

i usually pay until the girl offers...when they offer i usually say no the first couple times too...if they dont offer, they wont be around long =)

 

[Danman]

<< well the only real advice i can give u is to stop paying for everything now. or else she will definitely get used to it and u will always be expected to pay for everything and that sucks.

personally, i wouldn't go for a person that didn't want to help pay at least once in awhile. that's not fair, doesn't she even think about you? don't you want to be with a girl who's a bit more considerate than that?

i hate girls who think of themselves as princesses. give me a break... >>



Thanks for the advice.

 

[SinNisTeR]

i always thought it was right dating etiquette to pay for your gf when you go out. but i do agree.. the whole gift thing was a bit odd.. since you dont have a steady income i would talk to her about helping out or doing things that dont require too much money...

 

[EpsiIon]

<< I don't have a job either so there is no income coming in, only out. >>



And you call yourself cashman... *sigh* Tsk, tsk.

[edit]Sorry, I didn't realize this joke had been made earlier.[/edit]