question!

Wheatmaster

Diamond Member
Aug 10, 2002
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i've known this girl since i've been born and always had a secret crush on her. Now she's interested in my friend and now i just feel like i should something. what should i do? tell her the truth?
 

alkemyst

No Lifer
Feb 13, 2001
83,769
19
81
Originally posted by: Mak0602
i've known this girl since i've been born and always had a secret crush on her. Now she's interested in my friend and now i just feel like i should something. what should i do? tell her the truth?

Yes chances are though she thinks of you as more brother than boyfriend.

Also has there ever been a time when she 'put the moves' on....for many in this situation the girl matures faster and the guy misses all the signals....she then gives up and looks elsewhere.

The thing is how good a friend do you have? That is something else to consider if he too has known her as long.

Å
 

AgaBoogaBoo

Lifer
Feb 16, 2003
26,108
5
81
It sucks being in that position

I would let her go with your friend and hope it doesn't work out too well, you gotta make a move after that and ask her out.
 

Originally posted by: coldcut
Tell her that your friend is a switch hitter.
For once we agree! Nothing like subversion to eventually get the girl!
 

Wheatmaster

Diamond Member
Aug 10, 2002
3,882
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Originally posted by: alkemyst
Originally posted by: Mak0602
i've known this girl since i've been born and always had a secret crush on her. Now she's interested in my friend and now i just feel like i should something. what should i do? tell her the truth?

Yes chances are though she thinks of you as more brother than boyfriend.

Also has there ever been a time when she 'put the moves' on....for many in this situation the girl matures faster and the guy misses all the signals....she then gives up and looks elsewhere.

The thing is how good a friend do you have? That is something else to consider if he too has known her as long.

Å

yeah thats exactly what it is. she's thinks of me as a bro :-/ we're very good friends because the fact that my dad and her's have worked together (and escaped communist china :)) together. my friend has only know her for a day.
 

alkemyst

No Lifer
Feb 13, 2001
83,769
19
81
Originally posted by: Mak0602

yeah thats exactly what it is. she's thinks of me as a bro :-/ we're very good friends because the fact that my dad and her's have worked together (and escaped communist china :)) together. my friend has only know her for a day.

You need to make a move then if that's your game. Just make sure you are going to be her boyfriend and not just a friend. You have to think it through...girls want to be kissed and held and all that....if she is looking for sex that too....I know some asians do wait for marriage, however I also know many that have their parents and close-friends thinking they are still 'pure' yet go out booty dancing and all that goes with it. ;)

I will say I have known quite a few guys that have put a neighbor girl up on a pedastel since they were children, their families work together and/or spend vacations/weekends together...possibily even joking 'when you two getting married?' The problem is most girls are wanting to rebel against that, yet the guys are hoping it's the perfect opener for them.

 

jdini76

Platinum Member
Mar 16, 2001
2,468
0
0
Watch "Pretty in Pink!" and every other teen movie out there! your question will be answered.
 

Wheatmaster

Diamond Member
Aug 10, 2002
3,882
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0
Originally posted by: alkemyst
Originally posted by: Mak0602

yeah thats exactly what it is. she's thinks of me as a bro :-/ we're very good friends because the fact that my dad and her's have worked together (and escaped communist china :)) together. my friend has only know her for a day.

You need to make a move then if that's your game. Just make sure you are going to be her boyfriend and not just a friend. You have to think it through...girls want to be kissed and held and all that....if she is looking for sex that too....I know some asians do wait for marriage, however I also know many that have their parents and close-friends thinking they are still 'pure' yet go out booty dancing and all that goes with it. ;)

I will say I have known quite a few guys that have put a neighbor girl up on a pedastel since they were children, their families work together and/or spend vacations/weekends together...possibily even joking 'when you two getting married?' The problem is most girls are wanting to rebel against that, yet the guys are hoping it's the perfect opener for them.

ugh i don't know what to do. i'm so confused about everything right now....
i want to go for it, but does she feel the same way? i don't know if i'm going to screw up something....
 

alkemyst

No Lifer
Feb 13, 2001
83,769
19
81
Originally posted by: Mak0602

ugh i don't know what to do. i'm so confused about everything right now....
i want to go for it, but does she feel the same way? i don't know if i'm going to screw up something....

That is the risk. The first thing you need to do is determine if you'd seriously make a real couple. It's nice to dream and want someone, but sometimes once you think about the real day to day stuff you realize you are better off just friends....other times you see it will be nice.

Just be honest with her, you should also do this in person. Email, IM or Phone is too open to distraction and more importantly no body language cues.

You don't want to scare her so don't profess undying love for her from the start.

It's a hard call without knowing your two personalities. The most ackward part is the first few dates leading up to the first kiss :)

After that then it's ackward until things go further....once things sort of go that way the course is set and everything falls into place like a regular couple.

Going from friends to lovers is probably on of the hardest transitions. Strangers it's easy, even a close acquaintance of a good friend....and probably even a best friend's ex is easier game :)

The important thing though is to really think it out. If it's important you owe it to yourself to explore the option.

Å